Heart of Lifesaving
by akinosakiyaaaa
Summary: “One was the vessel. The other was the blood. Together, they were the heart.” Kōsaku Aizawa currently faces fierce competition to gain residency at Toronto Medical University for 3 years against confident rival Anko Shikai. Megumi Shiraishi is burning herself out and is almost at her breaking point. This is their story of how they learnt to be strong. For each other and everyone.
1. Chapter 1: Thoughts and Decisions

Title: Heart of Lifesaving

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

I walk into the ER and heave a small sigh. My interns are busy preparing for the patient whilst the nurses are running round making sure everything is ready. Since 7 years ago, Lifesaving has decreased significantly. Aizawa and Hiyama left to pursue their passions, to the many junior doctors that I've guided who left to other hospitals round Japan. Mitsui-sensei just left yesterday. Hiyama came back just a few days ago. Still, the workforce was not enough. Fujikawa notices my troubles and hands me the catheter I've been eying for. I silently thank him for the catheter and placed in the metal tray. Slipping on the rubber gloves, I check the timing on the clock and alert him.

"Let's go. The Heli is arriving."

He nods and we jog to the Helipad where we retrieve the patient.

"An accident on the highway. Serious injury to the head and in shock. His blood pressure has been dropping since."

"Looks like he's got some fracture. Contact Neurosurgery immediately." Fujikawa instructs to Saejima as she whips her cell out.

We work on the patient till Aizawa arrives. The interns have tried to be useful and helped, but our efforts didn't manage to reboot his heart rate and blood pressure. He's wearing his black scrubs, unlike us who are wearing dark blue scrubs. His hair is out of place, almost disoriented, as if he's just been through case after case. His face still holds a emotionless look. Behind that, I can see his tiredness. I give him a quick bow and he looks at me with a emotionless stare. Nodding in return, he turns to his patient. I know he can sense that we are lacking power and that he can sense what I'm feeling, but only because we've known each other this long. Concentrating on the patient, the team works together.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

"You've pass the limit. He's gone." He says to us as we stop all actions. I bit my lip in frustration at my failed attempt. Again, just like that, another life gone. He could have been saved. Even if it was 5 minutes.

"Confirmed time of death: 10:56." Tachibana-sensei announces and tears off his operating gown. In silence, we prepare to bring the body somewhere else, but I don't move. I stay rooted next to the door of the ER, blanking looking at the floor in anger.

I failed, once again. All this while, I've been thinking maybe if I constantly upgraded myself, it would have been fine. But as doctors left, I let the stress pile up on myself. I bit my lip harder. My throat feels almost itchy and dry, and my eyes start to have a stinging sensation. But this is no time to wallow myself in self-pity. I have patients to check up on, medical records to update, lives to save. I blink my eyes to fight the tears back and I solemnly move to help my team.

"Aizawa, won't you come back?" Tachibana-sensei pleads with him. I look at my team. All of them are half-dead. My interns are already trying their best, making it to the hospital early and reading up as much as they can during their breaks. Fujikawa and Saejima are always busy, only able to speak and bond with each other in their car. I've been working since the previous night, taking on yesterday's night and current morning shift. Tachibana-sensei has been loaded with work stress and documents on top of documents. We really needed him back. Hiyama has already sacrificed her studies.

"Sorry. I have no intention on returning to Lifesaving." Aizawa replies back and continued his typing into the computer. The interns solemnly leave the room and wheel the patient out. The senior doctors, including me, rub our eyes from the stress and tiredness experienced. A single tear slips through as I let out a silent sigh. Lifesaving is on its own. But we needed Aizawa to come back. We need him to train the junior doctors, to carry out operations. His spirit and effort was needed here.

 _I_ , as team leader, need him by my side.

We continue our respective jobs. I attempt continuing, willing to work till the afternoon. But Hiyama stops me and pulls me to the resting room.

"You need a break. Who told you to take the night shift?" Hiyama scolds me as I nervously look at my fingers.

"That's only because Lifesaving is understaffed." I sigh.

"Well, let Fujikawa and I handle today. You rest till it's 2pm. Only then will I allow you to work." Hiyama orders before leaving to do her rounds.

I lay on the bed for a good 10 minutes, not being able to fall asleep. Not heading Hiyama's advice, I leave the room. Walking out, I head to where I'm able to find peace.

The Helipad.

However, I'm not the only one there. Aizawa is there as well. Why am I surprised? He's always there when he's troubled. Or whenever I'm troubled. Either ways, we always go there to seek peace when we're troubled. I walk up to the Helipad and lean against a pole. As if he knew, he looks over and hands me a can of coffee. His eyes still show a slight trouble.

"Thank you."

I crack that can of caffeine open and take a long drink. I wait for the caffeine to hit my system, already feeling a lot better.

"Are the interns always like that?" He ask as he opens his can. He hasn't opened his can yet?

"Considering they are new, they are slower. I've just got to train them." I reply.

"Well, they better be useful before the patients passes." He mumbles just loud enough for me to pick up.

"Huh?"

"Ah, sorry. An outsider said something that shouldn't be said." He says, almost emotionlessly. I bite my lip and hold onto to my can tighter. He takes a drink from his can.

"Can't you come back?" I turn and blurt out. His hand freezes mid air and he lifts his head. Realising what happened, I regret my question and the past 10 seconds.

"Sorry, I know you replied that 20 minutes ago to Tachibana-sensei." I apologise. "Just pretend I didn't ask that." I turn around, ready to walk away to head back to the room. I shouldn't disturb him any further.

Just as I want to walk, a warm hand grabs my forearm without my coffee can. Swiftly, Aizawa turns me around to face him. Unfortunately, due to the shock, I was unable to maintain my balance and fall two steps forward, almost banging my head against his shoulder.

"Sorry." He says and releases his hand from my arm.

"There's talk about residency in Toronto. Sorry." He says and looks at me with a hint of sorrow.

"I-I see." I manage to choke out. Residency at Toronto? That sounds like Aizawa. My heart immediately feels heavy. Does he not care about Lifesaving anymore? My eyes trail down and I break eye contact with him.

"Are you, hurt?" He ask softly in a kinder tone. I recognise this tone. It's the tone he uses when I'm alone. The tone that spoke to me that rainy night. The tone that he uses when he senses something wrong.

"No, no, I'm okay." I lie to him and smile. "You should get back to work." I say as I'm about to leave. I turn around and head back to the resting room. My eyes start tearing for no reason, but I wipe them away as I rush back.

This time, he doesn't stop me.

* * *

Aizawa POV

Immediately after telling Shiraishi the reason, my heart immediately cracks a little. Through that fake smile that she showed me, I could see the hurt that I've cause when I told her the reason. Dammit, even when I see her run and her hand reaches up to her face, I know I've hurt her badly. I sigh and ruffle my hair. One side of me wants to return to Lifesaving. But the other side wants to go to Toronto too. I crush my can in frustration as I think about the pass 10 minutes with her.

Through the mask, I could see Shiraishi's fatigue. From what I've overheard from Hiyama, she worked the whole night shift and half the morning shift today. She made sure all the doctors and nurses went home to rest and got those on shifts coffee and light snacks. She always puts Lifesaving before herself. As the staff leader, it didn't help. She burdened herself with responsibilities. Patient's death. Documents. Reports. It didn't matter, how big or small. She took it all.

Furthermore, I missed Lifesaving. Lifesaving was what matured me. I missed the spirit of Lifesaving, the fun that I felt. But I missed her too. I didn't know why, but I missed her presence. I missed the cans of coffee she used to bring our team, and the different types of snacks she will bring for us. I headed back to the office and Saijo-sensei immediately whisks me and Shinkai into different operating theatres. I was so busy going to different rooms and operating, I didn't realise what was going on outside of that bubble.

Finally after the last report, I was ready to go home since I wasn't on night shift. Immediately after the last report was filed in, I packed my bags and changed out of my scrubs. I was about to walk out of the lockers when I see Shiraishi. However this time, she looked bad. She had trouble opening up her eyes, and had a extremely worn out look on her face. Was that just her hair or is that scratches and dirt on her face?

She notices sight of me and greets me with a slight bow. "Good evening." She says with barely any enthusiasm left. She clutches her files tightly and coughs. That's strange. She rarely coughs. Was she sick?

"Not going home?" I ask her as I walk with her to the lift. She shakes her head and slowly reaches up to hold her head.

"Shiraishi, you alright?" I ask as I stop where she is. She falters back slightly and shakes her head again. "Shiraishi?"

"I'm alright. Just a slight headache." She tries convincing me. She continues to walk towards the lift, but stops and leans her hand against the walls.

"Shiraishi, you should-" I get cut off by her immediately collapsing in front of me.

Instantaneously, I catch her shoulder before she falls and she falls on my lap as I kneel down on the floor. I sigh in relief that I ran into her.

"Shiraishi. Shiraishi." I ask her as I tap her shoulders. Checking to make sure she is breathing, I sigh a relief. At least she's breathing. I look around me and bite my lip in frustration. The ward nurses aren't around. I quickly carry her and run down to the staff station downstairs. Only then do I realise how skinny she was. She seems light for her age and size. Was her arms always this thin?

I see Fujikawa, Hiyama and Saejima at their desk filling in reports. Saejima is still busy packing the supplies. Looks like all of them are on night shifts. Saejima spots me first and then trails down to who I'm carrying. Fujikawa's eyes open wide and Hiyama immediately jolts out from her table.

"Aizawa-sensei!"

"Eh?"

"Shiraishi!"

They scurry over with shocked expressions.

"She fainted upstairs when walking. Do you have any spare beds?" I question.

"Spare beds? Just bring her to the ER!" Hiyama scolds in a rush as she runs to the ER. I almost forgot how blunt she is towards me. I put her on the bed and immediately arrange for a CT scan, just in case. Saejima and Fujikawa are busy hooking up a IV line while Hiyama checks her pulse, blood pressure and pupil reflexes.

"Everything looks normal." She announces to us. "What's on the CT scan?"

"It looks okay. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary." I say as I examine the scan.

"Could she have fainted due to exhaustion?" Fujikawa ask. Hiyama sighs and Saejima shakes her head sadly. "Probably. She has been having a tough time recently."

We decide to shift her to the resting room, and attach a IV drip and a monitor just in case. Not that she needed it, but better to be prepared.

"Aren't you going home?" Hiyama ask and points to my bag. I forgot I had my bag with me this whole time. I was so concerned that I forgot I wanted to go home.

"Never mind. I think I'll stay the night here." I reply and put my bags by the corner of the room. She nods slowly and leaves the room to continue being on duty.

I lie on the bed that is next to Shiraishi and stay still for a while. Giving up, I sit on the floor and rest my chin on her bed. I immediately sit up and notice something I didn't catch before. Her lips were pale white, almost losing their healthy flesh coloured appearance. Beads of sweat has started collecting on her forehead, despite being covered by her fringe. Was she having a fever?

I spring up and get a bucket with a towel and cold water from the sink in the room. I measure the temperature with my hand and she feverishly hot. I cool it down with the towel and cold water. Using a thermometer, I measure her temperature after a while. It went down slightly. Continuing the process, I keep sponging her forehead and keeping track of her temperature for a few hours. It was already 3am. Well, at least her temperature went down.

I sat down by her side and thought about my plans. To go to Toronto or to come back to Lifesaving. I didn't know. But looking at Shiraishi made me want to return. I didn't want her to burden all of those responsibilities again. I neglected Lifesaving this whole time, too engrossed with Neurosurgery that I completely neglected her.

I kept thinking about this, till after a long while, I finally fell asleep.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

All I could remember was walking to the lift, and pain in my head. I remembered talking to Aizawa, and all of the rest were blurred memories. When I opened my eyes, my head throbbed with slight pain. I reached up and slowly sat up, careful to not move too fast. I was still wearing my blue scrubs. What happened? Looking down to my right, I see a head of hair lying peacefully on my bed. Aizawa? What was he doing here? I clicked my phone so it displayed the timing. 6:04am.

I probably made too much movement, because Aizawa roused from his sleep and looked up with tired eyes. "Oh, Shiraishi, you're awake." He softly says, still having his morning voice.

"What happened...?" I whispered still clutching my head.

"Wait." He says and gets up. He leaves the room and comes back a minute later with a glass of water and a pill. "You fainted while talking to me last night. You're stable, just that you've developed a fever it seems." He tells me and hands me the water and pill. I swallow it and thank him.

"Then what are you doing here?" I ask and rest on my pillows.

"I was keeping watch in case anything happens." He bluntly says. "You should rest. This isn't the time to work."

"Then-" I get cut off, as if he knew what I was going to say in with that one word.

"I'm alright. Lifesaving is going to be fine." He replies and sits back down on the bed next to mine.

"You stayed the whole night?" I ask after a moment of silence.

"Ahh." Was what I got in reply

"Well... thank you, again." I muse. He nods. "You should sleep. You need your rest." I nod and does what he tells me do to.

I awoke a few hours later, around afternoon. I looked around and saw Hiyama. "Oh, Shiraishi. How are you?" She asked once I got up.

"Much better." I mused. She hands me a glass of water and makes me take some pills to control my temperature. Looks like I contracted the common flu as well. Under orders of Tachibana-sensei, I was to not work and rest for two days. I sigh at his orders. Two days could do a lot. Getting up, I decided I needed a shower and moved out from the room. I look at my left wrist and see a IV attached to me.

"Hiyama-sensei, can I remove the IV?" I ask her before leaving the room. She looks over and nods before walking over to help me. After that was done, I walked to the lockers to get a pair of clothes to change.

The hot water streamed down my face and hair and I felt so much better. As I showered, I kept questioning why was Aizawa still there till 6am. Wasn't he suppose to be home? I remembered him carrying a bag, I think. After the shower, I quickly changed to another pair of scrubs I had on hand and headed back to the resting room at the office. With a few hours to spare to dinner, I filled up some reports on my laptop. Saejima comes to deliver me some dinner and I thank her for it. I take my pills and Tachibana-sensei comes in to check on me.

"Sorry for causing trouble, Tachibana-sensei." I apologetically say. He smiles and shakes his head. "Ahh, it's okay. The interns are working hard today. You should take the day off. You've been working too hard." I nod awkwardly before he leaves to do his rounds.

Aizawa walks in just as Tachibana-sensei leaves. Bowing to him with respect, Aizawa plops his bag in the far corner of the room.

"Not going home?" I ask him as I cross my legs on the bed. He shakes his head. I notice that he's wearing different scrubs. Blue... Wait, blue?

"Aizawa-sensei, why..." I trail off, even more shocked to see the words EMS printed by his breast pocket. The word 'Lifesaving' was printed on his back...

He sat down on the floor again. "I returned to Lifesaving." He finally says.

I slightly gasp and tilt my head in confusion to why. "Didn't you say you want to go to Toronto?"

"I will go. Lifesaving will give me access to all the patients with brain injuries. I can also handle spinal injuries here, so Shinkai and I won't fight for the patients." He replies me. Looking up, I see the corner of his lips threaten to curl up, but it remains stationary at a horizontal line.

"That's great to hear. Then, are you on night duty today?" I ask him, smiling from the good news.

"I'm just taking care of you." He replies bluntly.

"Eh?" I let out, not believing what he said. Aizawa rarely does this, no, he doesn't do this at all.

He continues to look down and rub his fingers together like usual. "Nothing." He stands up and stands in front of the door. "You want a snack?" He ask before leaving.

I nod my head reluctantly, too embarrassed to say yes. He nods and walks out to the convenience store. 10 minutes later, he's back with rice balls and mochi. He retreats to the floor and takes a bite out of his rice ball. I do the same.

"Thank you...for taking care of me." I say after a moment of silent.

"Ah." He replies. Another bite of his rice ball. We don't have much to talk about.

Saejima knocks on the door politely and pops her head in. Hiyama's head appears below hers.

"Can we come in?" She asks us. Aizawa gets up from the floor and climbs to the top bunk above my bed. Hiyama takes it as an approve and walks in with Saejima behind.

They sit on my bed and they update me on what's been going on. Saejima gives me the details that Fujikawa and her are going to be married, which we all happily clap for her. Hiyama updates me on the interns, which Aizawa occasionally adds in a few sentences. I slightly frown at his harshness, but Hiyama rebuts back in a equally harsh but funny manner, which leaves me smiling and Saejima sighing away with a smile.

Saejima excuses herself first to do her duties and Hiyama follows, doing her rounds. Aizawa stays stationary on the top bunk. He jumps down shortly after to pass my medication and check that everything is okay. Sitting on the floor, he stares blankly into space.

"You can do your work, I'm okay." I say to him. He looks up with a pair of sad eyes.

"You always care about others, never taking yourself into consideration. 24/7, yet everyone knows that." He says to me.

"You're right. 7 years down the road... I'm the core of Lifesaving, am I not?" I add with a sad smile.

"Don't take everything by yourself. You have Hiyama, Fujikawa, Saejima... also, there's me." He says looking directly at me. I bite my lip and look down unconsciously. Was I shy to look at him? I don't know clearly why.

A long silent passed, and I convinced myself to sleep and not worry about Lifesaving. However, I made Aizawa sleep too, on the bed beside mine.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt much better and under Aizawa's close eye and an extremely convincing reason, I was allowed to work at the Staff Station. However, he banned me from stepping into the ER and the ICU. Outpatient clinic was okay, but he kept an extremely close eye on me. It was different from the usual things I'm used to, but it did keep me busy enough.

Before I knew it, it was already evening. Today, the four interns and Tachibana-sensei is on duty. Almost out of habit, we all met up —well, without Aizawa— and went to Mary Jane's bar. All of them ordered a mug of beer. Knowing that asking my question was a suicide move, I still went ahead.

"Mary Jane, can I get a beer tonight?" I ask softly, bracing myself for the replies my colleagues will make.

"No!" The other 3 say at the same time.

"You're sick!" Hiyama emphasises as she frowns.

"No alcohol!"Saejima warns me. She has the scariest look on her face now, the one she uses when we offend her.

"Mary Jane! Do not give her the drink!"Fujikawa sternly says with strict expression.

I frown, but start laughing straight away at the concern they have for me. Mary Jane, shocked by the synchronisation, nods like a terrified child and passes me a glass of ice water instead. I thank her and obediently sip on the ice water.

At that moment, a familiar strong built figure walks in. His haggard eyes and vibe says it all. Aizawa obviously had a bad day.

"Oh! Aizawa didn't abandon us tonight!" Fujikawa's big mouth exclaims. Saejima scolds him for his nosiness and loud mouth. Aizawa goes all the way to the end of the bar counter, 2 seats away from mine. He orders his usual drink of sake on rocks and silently sips on the alcohol.

"What's wrong?" I ask him casually. The other 3 are busy arguing about Saejima's wedding gown and how the wedding should be planned out.

"Just had a long day." He plainly says, not giving away too much information.

"I'm not that dense." I sigh. "What's the problem?"

"I didn't save all the patients..." He softly says and gulps the remaining sake.

I purse my lips tightly, understanding his pain. To see the patient you want to see live pass was heartbreaking. Their future, family, career, opportunities... the list goes on. It was all robbed from the patient.

"I see." I softly say. Turning to him, I can read his eyes. He's blaming himself that he couldn't save the patients. His nail digs into his finger and his knuckles turn slightly white.

"Aizawa-sensei, it's not your fault. I'm sure you did your best." I empathise with him. He lets out a long sigh and shakes his head. He runs his hand through his messy hair in frustration. He finishes his second serving of sake and close his eyes and breathes, almost in a relaxing way.

"I'm leaving first. You should go home too." He suggest as he gets out some notes to pay. I nod and my body moves on its own, following Aizawa to go home.

The other 3, too caught up in their conversation, and probably because Hiyama is drunk, are stunned that we suddenly leave. We bid goodbye to them and leave together.

"Why were you even there?" Aizawa asks me. I laugh at his question. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to. But they forbade me from drinking alcohol, so I just drank that glass of water." I reply. "You are...?"

"Train. You?" He replies, knowing what I was going to ask. I nod, agreeing that I take the train too.

We silently board the train and ride it together. He stands on one side, I stand on the other. When it was my station, he walks out with me as well. "Aren't you going to go home?" I ask as we tap out from the subway.

"It's late. It's not safe for you to go home like this." He says and walks with me.

It's around a 10 minute walk, and we once again, walk in silence. Just as I'm about to walk towards my apartment complex, I get light headed. I stop in my tracks and hold my head and massage my temples.

"What's wrong?" He says and bends down to my height. He gently grabs my wrist and I slightly flinch at his touch. Almost instantly, he released me, knowing how I felt. He takes a step back and I suddenly realised how close we were.

"Just got a little light headed. I'm okay, it's fine." I say and continue to walk. Aizawa doesn't take this answer well and stands next to me, with my shoulder touching his. He pushes closer to me.

"Lean your weight on me. It is easier for you to walk." He says. I don't and try to walk, even though the headache gets a little stronger. He grunts softly and pushes my body against his. I silently comply and lean on his shoulder.

Not knowing why, it feels almost...warming and soothing to me.

Fortunately, we reached my apartment complex and he walks me upstairs to the door.

"Good night." I say to him and bend my body slightly. "Please go home safely."

"Good night." He returns my bow. "Take care."

"Ah, Shiraishi." He said just as I unlock my door. I turn around and see him still there, a small smile outlining his face. "Thank you."

I smile and nod my head in return. He leaves and I walk into my apartment, a weird bubbling sensation in my stomach. It felt like, what was it, butterflies?

Why was this happening?

* * *

 _A/N: hello everyone! this is my first story on this platform so please excuse all the weird updates and all! I'm still learning how to use the app and website so if there are any hiccups feel free to PM me and ill change it ASAP! this pic has been something I've wanted to do ever since i saw season 3. I'm welcome to feedback so please give honest opinions and ill try my best to make this a better story._

 _this fic is NOT a oneshot, its my own creative take on season 3. my updates might be slow, as i don't like writing in public and prefer writing alone. also, I've not been writing very often and this was written after a long break. however, ill try my best to write this fic up and complete it. thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!_


	2. Chapter 2: Bursting Fireworks

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

A week has past since Aizawa returned. While Lifesaving has significantly been boosted, the welfare has dropped quite a bit. Aizawa and his usual harshness tends to scare Yokomine and Haitiani. While the other doctors and nurses have no objections, I completely disagree. Aizawa doesn't need to shout at Yokomine for ordering the wrong equipment from Cardiology. Neither does he need to insult Haitani in front of the staff when we are giving treatment. Just now after we received a patient from the Heli, Aizawa completely shut Haitani out, just because he was scared during yesterday's flight duty.

"Aizawa-sensei, you could have been less harsh, you know." I retort angrily at him as we both walk into the office. We have argued for at least the past 4 days, each argument about the same thing. His harshness, and my objections against it.

"Shiraishi, not again." He groans and throws his file on the table. I walk to mine, which was conveniently facing his and stare at him with my eyebrows furrowed. It was very clear that I was angry. He looks at me with defiant eyes, but they slightly waver from the anger I'm displaying.

"Again? Aizawa-sensei, at anytime the interns might quit due to your harshness. Did you really need to make Haitani-sensei step out of the ER while we gave treatment, just because he did badly yesterday?" I raise my voice. I could see his discomfort and annoyance. But this issue wasn't to joke with.

"Do you expect me to pamper them then? They have to learn one day." He bluntly says to me and grunts. I walk to the shelf next to the tables and retrieve some files. I grit my teeth in anger and I hear some shuffling from behind. I can't be bothered about it at the moment.

"Then I'll teach them. We have to slowly mature them. You can't expect them to start of with extreme talent like you." I snap at him. I hear the squeaking of chairs, and he is next to me retrieving a few files too.

"You are being too soft. They will never learn about their talents. Or if they even have any." He snarls back in a angry tone.

Ouch. The comment pierced into my heart deeply. It reminded me of Kuroda-sensei and his harsh ways, partially why the reason I am guiding them with patience. I don't want to be the Kuroda-sensei of this batch of interns. I don't want them to be like me: a timid and fearful doctor. My mind plays through the time when I ended Kuroda-sensei's career. My eyes sting, but I hold back my tears. This isn't a time to be weak. I could never forgive myself from what I did to him.

I pause my actions and I let out a sigh. Almost instantly, Aizawa does the same. He notices my discomfort. His turns to me and I face him. My eyes are watery, from thinking back what I did when I was a intern. His eyes soften and he leans closer to me. I take a step back. I don't want his sympathy now. His hand catches my sleeve in an attempt to pull me closer. I pull away.

"Shiraishi, you know I-" I cut him off immediately as I retrieve my last file.

"Save it, Aizawa-sensei. You meant it, 100 percent." I hurl the words at him, harsh and cold. I look into his eyes I see the regrets and tint of sadness. I break eye contact and storm out of the office to the staff station. Passing by to the door, I was completely unaware that Hiyama had witnessed yet another fight and her eyes uncomfortably shifted to the bun she had on the table and resumed her typing on her laptop. However, I didn't care. I was too fed up with Aizawa's attitude at the moment.

I slam my files on the table at the staff station and take in a deep breath. I needed time alone. I got ready to stand up and walk to the Helipad, but I know Aizawa will be there too. Instead, I sit back down and grab myself a can of coffee from the vending machine. Aizawa was getting too harsh. In the past, I thought he was harsh enough, but this was too much. But this can't take my mind completely. Lifesaving is still my priority. Shoving the argument aside in my head, I bury myself in documents after documents, report after report. Luckily, no one was around, as all the other doctors were on duty at different areas in the hospital. The Fellows were currently in ICU and HCU attending to some things with Fujikawa. The other seniors were up doing a surgery from another patient. I had a good amount of peace while filing in some reports.

It was an hour to sunset when the phone rings. I swiftly reach over and pick it up.

"Shohoku Lifesaving Centre."

"Requesting for Doctor Heli. A display at a festival near a shrine has collapsed. Currently, there are many injured and a few critical ones." A voice says over the line. A festival? That's bad, that means that there's chaos.

"Please hold for a moment." I politely say as I whip my work phone out. Almost at a instance, a message pops up on my phone. Looks like Aizawa was in the ER. Afterall, we are on flight duty often. I bite my lip, still frustrated at what he said to me. No, I shouldn't be like this. I read his text quickly, determined to put the personal issues aside.

 _From: Aizawa_

 _We can fly._

"Depatching now. Please inform me of other details en route." I say and hang up. I swiftly run towards the ER, but Aizawa has already grabbed an extra pack for me. He throws me a pack and we dash towards the Helipad. Saejima is already there with her bag and is buckling up. We sit side by side silently and in less than a minute, we take off.

"Shohoku Doctor Heli. Please send in the details." I say as I step on the peddle. I adjust my mic and headphones. Immediately, I hear the sound of screaming patients and loud shouting. This is bad.

"Ah, currently we have managed to shift the injured to a carpark near the shrine. There's too many people to count the injured... We have around 3 in critical state...ah it's 4?... sorry, there's too much commotion." The firefighter informs us.

"Please keep it at this arrangement. We will inform you upon arriving." I release the peddle. Aizawa sighs. "Looks like it's going to be chaos. Start with triage." Saejima nods to his order and prepared the tags.

We arrive shortly and a firefighter is on standby, ready to escort us. I look in front and see a big crowd. Chaos has already risen.

"Sensei! This way please!" The firefighter shouts over the loud noise and we follow. He jogs us to the carpark where most the injured are. If I were to make a guess, there were at least 10 to 20. "This is where most of the patients are. Currently, we only have 4 critically injured, that is at the scene not too far away from here." He informs us and I quickly act.

"Saejima-san, please start with some basic triage here. I will send the others arriving by Heli here to help. Hiro-san, ask rescue to cooperate and start triage. Doctors will be arriving shortly." I instruct to both the flight nurse and firefighter in charge.

"Yes!" Saejima nods at me and runs to start triage.

"We will head to treat the critical patients first." Aizawa says as he looks at me and nods his head to initiate movement. I sense that the awkwardness hasn't died, but I can't let that affect me now. We are on scene and patients are about to die if left untreated. I nod and we jog towards the festival site. I make use of the time and dial Shohoku.

"Basic triage has started. Heli should be arriving in 4 minutes. Please send over the 4 Fellows, Hiyama-sensei and Fujikawa-sensei. Leave Tachibana-sensei behind for further treatment of the patients arriving by Heli. I'll keep the patients coming in at minimum." I hang up and catch up with Aizawa.

Hiro-san guides us to the two most critical patients first. They have shifted them on a stretcher and laid them side by side, so that we can access them easier if there was a lack of doctors. I head to a lady wearing a yukata and leave the man with a head injury to Aizawa. A rescue member informs me of what injuries she's sustained. I ask for him to assist me.

"Let's intubate first." I instruct as he prepares the equipments for me.

Through the corner of my eye, I see Aizawa has begun treatment and is wanting to operate there on the scene due to the severity. I hear the sound of quick footsteps behind me and I know it's the doctors. Turning around, I'm greeted by Fujikawa, Hiyama and Yokomine.

"Yokomine-sensei, head to the carpark to give treatment and help Saejima-san in triage. Concentrate on those yellow patients first and make sure they are stable before proceeding to the green tags." Yokomine nods shakily and runs off. "Fujikawa-sensei, I understand that there's a patient with fractures so please stay here and assist the critical ones. Hiyama-sensei, please contact me via radio if anything happens at the carpark. I leave it to you." I give the orders clearly. They both nod and head to do their respective jobs.

Halfway through giving my treatment to the lady, I hear more footsteps. It's the Fellows. Haitani looks almost distraught from the scene and Yukimura is still taking in the severity on site.

"Yukimura-san, please stay and help Fujikawa-sensei. I understand he is lacking help at the moment. Haitani-sensei, Natori-sensei, please head to the carpark to treat the yellow tags. There are quite a few of them. Inform me via radio if anything happens, but that shouldn't be the case, since Hiyama-sensei is there." I advise to them. They nod and proceed with their roles.

"Please maintain her saturation. Inform me if anything arises." I tell the rescue member. Keeping my things, I sling my bag strap over one shoulder and get ready to assist Aizawa with another patient. I get distracted by a single, wooden clog, the size suitable for a small child on the floor. That's strange, none of the red tags are children. Unless...

My eyes slowly trail to the wreckage. No, it can't be. This shouldn't be the case. But my body moves on it's on. I shift uncomfortably and jog to the back of the wreckage. My worse fear comes true. Her yukata is torn with blood stains on them, her blood all over the concrete floor, and the worse of all: leg trapped underneath the wreckage. Rescue didn't manage to find her.

A young girl was soon, added to the red tags list.

* * *

Aizawa POV

"Ensure his blood pressure and saturation is stable." I give orders to the medic nurse helping me as I tear my gloves off. I was done opening the head of my second patient to relieve a blood clot in his brain. I was getting ready to head to the carpark when my radio crackles to life.

"Hiyama-sensei, are you busy?" Shiraishi's voice echoed. "A 10-year-old has pneumothorax and blood isn't getting to her legs at the moment. I need help." Another red tag? All red tags should have been done. My heart drops to the ground. Something must have happened.

"Sorry, Shiraishi. Both Fujikawa and I's hands are full at the moment. We have two patients that we are operating on at the same time with Saejima helping us." Hiyama replies. I could hear Saejima responding to their request of equipments.

"Shiraishi, where are you? I'll head over." I respond and grab my bag. "Head straight towards the wreckage. I'm behind against a wall." She responds and the crackle dies. Wreckage? She must have found another one. No wonder there's a new red tag I run towards the wreckage and ask for a stretcher immediately to be prepared. I reach behind the wall to see the patient and Shiraishi. The patient's leg was crushed under broken parts of the wreckage, and looks like the rescue team is taking precautions and hurrying to relieve the patient. Something is off, as if the wreckage had just recently fell or collapse.

Shiraishi catches sight of me and I notice a cut on her upper eyebrow and cheek. I then trail down to notice that her leg is bleeding from a nasty long cut down her calf, but she is taking good control of it at the moment. Or, what it seems to be. I know that the injury is much worse. The pieces clicked together. The wreckage must have fell and hit both of them, causing more damage.

"Shiraishi..." I trail off as I rush towards her side, ignoring the patient. She needed immediate attention for her leg. I get ready to take out gauze and stop the bleeding when her hands stop mine.

"Excuse my injuries, she deserves more help now. My leg is fine." She says strongly and prepares to proceed with cutting the lung open to relieve the pneumothorax. I hesitate for a moment, but choose to trust her.

"I'll assist you." I say as I open up the bag of equipment.

"No, concentrate on her leg. It can be saved." She says and immediately returns to call for rescue to help assist her. I bite my lip in frustration. She always put others before her, even if it means putting herself in a risk. She looks at me with pleading eyes. She means good, and I can see that. I heed and shift my attention to the leg. Shiraishi's right, it can still be saved. I can temporarily continue blood flow by using tubes to make sure the other part still has blood. Thankfully, rescue informs us that the wreckage will be removed soon. They have managed to cut the pieces up and removed it, relieving weight of her leg.

I flex my hand in the gloves. The rescue member passes me a tube and I tell him to prepare the necessary drugs.

With that, I cut into the leg, determined to bring the patient back alive.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

I ride back with Aizawa sitting next to me with the patient next to us. We successfully managed to save the patient in time and board the Heli. I had difficulty climbing up the Heli with my bad leg, but managed to anyways. I should have listened to Aizawa. My leg did require medical attention. Now, even with the gauze and bandage I managed to fix up in the Heli, I can still see it bleeding through. Looks like I'm out of commission for the night.

"Shiraishi." He says suddenly. "Sorry."

"Eh?" I cock my head to the side, confused by what he's saying.

"I'm shouldn't have shouted at you this morning. I take back what I've said." He apologises. I nod in return.

"It's okay. I'm sorry if I was too harsh today too. But you were good today. I saw you giving instructions to Haitani through the cell in a calm and precise manner. It was nice of you to tell him he did a good job." I said with a small smile. He nods in reply and I feel the thud of the Heli landing. The vibrations run up my leg and I squeeze my eyes, not prepared for the pain.

"You alright?" I see that Aizawa has leaned forward towards me. I nod my head and face up, unbuckling myself. We unload the patient to the Helipad, where Tachibana-sensei is already waiting. He looks at my leg and says nothing, but I know I've worried him. I limp my way to the ER slowly as Tachibana-sensei takes over Aizawa and I. The stretcher is far along in front of us. Aizawa stands half a step behind me like he always does as I limp wobbly towards the door leading to the ER. As I put my weight on my bad leg, the pain worsens. I use the railings as a guide and clutch on to it tightly in an attempt to not fall. My eyes blur from the fatigue but I blink rapidly to stay awake.

Suddenly, Aizawa walks in front of me and bends down on one knee, his back facing me. "Get on. You'll tire yourself out like this." He says. He's right, it is tiring walking like this. I was already feeling faint, making it to the ER would definitely make me faint.

"Aizawa-sensei, there isn't a need. The ER isn't far from here." I persuade. He doesn't budge. Reluctantly, I climb on his back and he lifts me up slowly on his back. His arms wrap around my thigh tightly, taking caution to not aggravate my calf. I don't bother telling him to not do that. My arms dangle in front and they automatically clasp together. I consider letting go, but he doesn't seem to mind it wrapping loosely around him.

"Thank you." I whisper quietly to him, too drained to say anything else. He nods in reply and I rest my head on his back. He doesn't move instead just bends down slightly further to make it comfortable for me. It feels soothing and warm inside out. Warm against the cold breeze that blew by. My stomach starts having the same feeling I had a week ago. What was this feeling? I only seem to have it when I'm with him.

My mind snaps out of my thoughts as he stops outside the door. He lets me get off slowly and holds my arm to help me walk to the ER. It was best no one in Lifesaving sees us like this. A gossip make rise and create a storm. Somehow, the tension we usually have, the atmosphere of maintaining a relationship of co-workers has died down. The atmosphere seems almost like...friends. Something hard to achieve with such a emotionless guy with Aizawa.

By the time we reach, the young girl is in stable condition, and has proceeded to the OR for further treatment. "Ah, Shiraishi. Get someone to treat the cut on your face. Also your leg, please get a check up on it." Tachibana-sensei advises me. I almost forgot about the cut above my eyebrow and cheek. I nod in reply.

"You might want to get changed first. I'll clean your wounds." Aizawa offers and turns to get a tray. I'm left speechless, but abide his words. I head towards the lockers first, changing into my scrubs and head to the resting room next.

"Oh! Shiraishi!" Hiyama exclaims as she sees my leg. "What happened?"

"That's what I like to know too." Aizawa voice echoes behind me. I walk to one of the beds and I realise Saejima and Fujikawa are here too.

"When I found the girl, I could only see the top half of her body. Whilst giving treatment halfway, I made the same mistake again: I didn't confirm safely. The wood crashed on us. But rescue found us immediately." I say and I pull my scrubs up to expose my cut. They wince at my cut and Hiyama clicks her tongue in disapproval.

"Did she sustain any more injuries?" Fujikawa asks.

"No, I sheltered her body with mine. It hit my back, but it should be fine." I admit just as Aizawa prepares the alcohol and cotton balls. Hiyama sighs and I could feel that Aizawa was upset with me. Always putting others first, I always put myself last.

Hiyama sits with me for awhile as Aizawa cleans the cut on my leg. It was worse than it seems. He stitches it back together and sighs from time to time. In her Hiyama-way, she insults Aizawa for which Aizawa plainly rebuts back. Saejima leaves first with Fujikawa to continue restocking her equipments with him and announces they will be leaving first. Hiyama stretches and offers waiting for me, but I tell her to head home first. On site, she helped a lady give birth to a pair of twins and guided Yokomine and Natori on a thoracotomy and cardiac tamponade at the same time. She had quite a long day.

Aizawa dabs alcohol on my face and cleans the cuts. I slightly wince at the sharpness of the alcohol, but I tell him there's no need to apologise. It didn't occur to me that for the next 10 minutes, I was silent as my thoughts clouded my mind.

"You've been zoning out for the past 10 minutes. It's as if something is bothering you." Aizawa asks me as he placed the cotton ball down and switches to a bandage. I snap into reality.

"Nothing. Just...it's unfortunate isn't it? Such a lovely festival by a beautiful shrine only to be ended by the festive decorations collapsing. They could have experienced so much more..." I sigh.

"Ahh." Aizawa replies as he fixes the bandage on my eyebrow. He prepares for another bandage. He tilts my face to fix the other bandage on my cheek. All of a sudden, I feel the blood rush up to my face and my cheeks. This was getting uncomfortable for me. Once he was done, I didn't notice how close we were. His nose was inches away from my cheeks and his hand was rested gently on my chin.

"Sorry, I didn't know we were getting this close." He apologises and pulls away.

"Thank you...again." I say and get up. I limp my way towards the door. He's done a good job in stitching it up.

"You should stop...thanking me. It's unnecessary to." I hear Aizawa say from behind. My stomach twist and turns and I nod, although he can't see it. I can almost see him raise the corners of his mouth into a smile.

Why does my stomach turn? Why do I act all funny when I'm with Aizawa? Should I have asked Hiyama to do up my wounds instead? What was this weird feeling I always have? Why do I always feel secure when I'm close to him? I stop my tracks in the middle of the hallway to the lockers. Could it be...

Could it be because I...liked him?

No, that's impossible. We are co-workers. At the very most, friends. I barely knows what he does when he's free, I don't even know when his birthday is. Even if I do, I can't picture myself with him. It would be extremely uncomfortable. I lightly laugh to myself. What a silly thought. Who knows, he might just have a girlfriend, but shows care because he's used to showing care to females. I change out of my clothes and look outside. A burst of light sparkles the sky. The fireworks that should have been at the festival started.

I smile to myself, _the fireworks are pretty._

* * *

Aizawa POV

I could tell Shiraishi was getting more fidgety when with me. But it wasn't just her, it was me too. I found myself caring for her more. I should have made it less obvious by letting Hiyama treat her wounds instead. But then again, my body responded instantaneously. Why? Was it because I neglected her so I want to do more now? Was it because I just wanted a better relationship with her and the Fellows? My thumb stops rubbing against my finger for a moment as I stopped all motion.

Was it...because I liked her?

No, it's not possible. She's my closest work mate I have in Lifesaving. Possibilities of having interest in her was a little about 0. I shove the thoughts out of my head and clear the equipment. Tachibana and the Fellow's on duty today, again. I consider heading to Mary Jane's bar for a drink, but I turn my tracks and head to the Helipad first. It was my quiet spot for days when my mind is full of thoughts. The breeze cut against my skin and I pull my jacket up closer to myself. Night breeze was no joke here, I'm lucky I have my jacket with me. The peace from the wind seemed to clear my thoughts. I breathed in the cold air, letting it run down to my system.

Off in the distance, I hear a loud muffled bang and a burst of lights shine in the sky. Looking up, I see the fireworks that many patients should have seen this evening. I reflect back on what Shiraishi said. She's right, it was a beautiful festival. It would have been one.

"Beautiful, right?" I hear a familiar voice say from behind. I turn and I'm not surprised to see Shiraishi. Well, we are the only two that come here. Looks like the awkwardness and tension died down between us. It has returned to a normal atmosphere.

"Mm. You're right. The patients could have seen so much more." I said. She passes me a warm drink and opens it up to drink. I take it with thanks and open mine too. She shivers slightly by the corner of my eye and I have to try my best not to smile. I take my jacket off and pass it to her.

"Eh? There's no need to! I'm not cold-" She argues with me but I cut her off.

"Says the one that shivered." I bluntly say in front of her face. She gives a slight pout and frowns. "Just take it, Shiraishi." I take the jacket from her hands and neatly place it around her shoulders. Despite the darkness of the night, I could see the hint of a rosy blush. I have the urge to put my arm around her, but I pull my hand back. It wasn't appropriate to do so. Besides, who knows? She might have a boyfriend, and might feel uncomfortable. I scoff at my actions.

Why was I thinking so much about her?

* * *

Fujikawa POV (bonus!)

"Haruka, do you think Aizawa likes Shiraishi?" I spoke my mind out loud as I stare at the wall in front of us. We were getting ready to head of to bed after finishing up some reports together.

"Huh? You only noticed it now?" Haruka asks in a playful tone. "It was so obvious! Especially since Shiraishi is so dense. Look at how they treat each other!"

I nod my head agreeing. Shiraishi has definitely been less stressed since Aizawa has transferred here. I manage to catch Aizawa helping her silently grab her files or cans of coffee without her opening her mouth. Even more obviously, he treated her wounds for her. On the other hand, Shiraishi has looked much healthier and more sharp when it comes to giving orders or analysing patients. I always catch her smiling at Aizawa and vice versa. Being me, I will always gossip about it with Hiyama in private. We swore to not let anyone know.

"You're right." I cheekily smile. Haruka shakes her head disappointingly and I laugh. Her phone rings, indicating there's a message. She picks it up and I can see that something is wrong. Her eyes flash fear and I feel a eerie silence and a uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Kazuo, when we sent Hiyama back to Shiraishi's apartment, Shiraishi was already back home, right?" Saejima asks. I nod slowly, not sure why she ask.

"Yes, she even had a shower, remember? Why ask all of the sudden?" I ask. I can see the slight fear in her eyes and I feel my body tense. She shows me a message from an unknown, blocked number. The message tensed my body up more as I read word after word. As I scrolled down, I saw a familiar photo of two individuals outside an extremely familiar apartment door.

Aizawa was bowing down towards Shiraishi, as a greeting of good night. And Shiraishi did the same back. It was outside her apartment.

 _To: Saejima_

 _From: Unknown_

 _If he said good night, she should say goodbye forever._

* * *

 _A/N: sorry guys for my late upload! i was overseas on a holiday and i couldn't find the chance to write this chapter properly! also, this was a challenging one to write, since i had to think a lot of about the commotion on site. it was fun though! my updates are probably going to be once a week or two, depending on how busy I am and how often i can access my laptop._

 _so who's this mystery person that texted saejima? anyone wants to predict what's going to happen? leave some reviews on what you think is going to happen! or even better, why was the message sent?_

 _im so overwhelmed by the support on this website! in less than 24 hours i've gotten about 5 reviews and i felt so happy reading them! thank you all for your reviews! i love you very very much! feeling so welcomed by the code blue community here. ️_

 _reviews are welcomed here! let me know how this chapter went! happy to receive all kinds of reviews! once again, thank you all for reading! loves from me to you! ️_


	3. Chapter 3: Masked Tears

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

* * *

Aizawa POV

I walk into the locker room and change to a fresh pair of blue scrubs. Two weeks have passed since Shiraishi has injured her leg, and things have gotten a little more different. Lifesaving has been busier, and the interns are progressing fast. I can't sit down for a normal lunch at the cafeteria without being called for an emergency. Nowadays, I survive on convenience store sandwiches and rice balls for meals.

My relationship with Shiraishi has slightly changed as well. I find myself shifting the roster for flight duty with her and reaching to get her file without her asking me. I leave a coffee can on her table whenever I can and in return, she leaves a note and a rice ball, like she always does to most people. My notes always contain her reminding me to not buy convenience store food. She suggests I get a takeaway from the cafeteria. It's definitely a lot healthier than the amount Monosodium Glutamine they put in convenience store food. I try my best to heed her advice and get a convenience store bought salad instead. Still, I catch her frowning at me when I have night shifts.

I wonder what was Fujikawa trying to tell us yesterday. Once I was home from my day shift, I received a message from a chat group. Ah, this chat group. Ever since Hiyama and I transferred back to Lifesaving temporarily, he insisted there's a chat group for easier communication. Of course, I wasn't excused from this despite my coldness towards him. He texted us yesterday night to meet at the resting room 20 minutes before our morning meetings. Also, he added to not be late and it was private between us 4 doctors and Saejima. I click my phone to display the time. Well, I'm just in time for the meeting.

I grab my stethoscope and work cell and walk to the resting room. Opening the door, I'm greeted by Hiyama, Shiraishi, Saejima and Fujikawa. However, I was greeted by a very different Fujikawa. I usually catch him in the morning with a cheery mood, greeting us cheerfully before proceeding to be Shohoku's Gossip King. Today, he had formed a frown and had a troubled look. It even seems that he didn't get enough sleep. The way he presented himself... it gave off a bad atmosphere. Saejima was the same. She usually comes in with a smile and we could feel her warmth, complimenting Fujikawa's positivity. Now, she looked tired and had a fearful expression on her face. I sensed something off.

"I suggest we sit down for this." Saejima says as she sits down and pulls Fujikawa to sit next to her. Hiyama and Shiraishi sit on the other side and I take a seat next to Shiraishi. Saejima plays with her fingers and lets out a sigh. Hiyama and Shiraishi are equally confused as me. What was this about?

"I received an anonymous message." She starts and takes her private phone out. Unlocking it, she shows us the message and continues talking while we read. My heart drops to the ground and I hear the two doctors next to me gasp. I hitch my breath. It's me and Shiraishi, that day when I sent her home. But how...?

"Kazuo and I made a conclusion that it can't be any of you three. We sent Hiyama back after Shiraishi had a shower. Both Aizawa and Shiraishi are in this. I don't know what the person means, but I think we should be more careful." She ends and looks down sadly. Hiyama grasp onto Shiraishi's hand tightly. Shiraishi's eyes shift from one side of the room to the other uncomfortably.

"Especially you, Shiraishi. Be more cautious about your whereabouts now." Fujikawa warns in a soft tone. Shiraishi nods slowly and bites her lip. Through that face, I can see her troubles. Who was that person? Why was he or she aiming us? More importantly, what does that person mean? I sigh and turn to Shiraishi.

"Are you..okay?" I ask her. Her eyes still shifted everywhere and blinked randomly. She was scared. She did this numerous times when she was a intern. I could tell, she was internally breaking down.

"Shiraishi." Hiyama rubs her back soothingly. Life returns to her eyes and she faces us and smiles. Her smile...it was forced and I frown.

"Ah, I'm okay. I-I'll be more careful now. Aizawa-sensei, you should be more careful too." She assures us and takes her leave to prepare for the meeting. But through that smile, even though her words aren't lies, I can see the fear she has for herself. The fear that someone's life will crumble because of her. Her fear of destruction.

"She's not taking it seriously, is she?" Saejima asks after a long silence. I nod and Hiyama agrees with me.

"She still puts other first, even in times like this." Hiyama sighs. "Fujikawa, I'll keep an eye on her."

"Same here. I'll keep an eye out for her as well." I answer.

"Speak for yourself, Aizawa. Be careful. We don't know his or her motive." Fujikawa speaks up. "Let's keep this to ourselves. Shiraishi won't like it if the others knew. If it gets more serious, we will inform Tachibana." We nod in agreement and leave to prepare for the morning meeting. We have about 5 minutes left. Quickly, we walk together in silence, making sure we give off no suspicions to anyone walking pass.

Shiraishi was still putting herself last in situations like this. I feared the worse for her. What happens if the stalker attacks her? Is she really going to be fine, when she goes home? Will she be safe in the hospital doing her night shifts without me there to remind her? Will she eat her meals without thinking someone poisoned it? I shake my head at those thoughts. She's a grown up. She can take care of herself. She has Hiyama and the others, maybe even her boyfriend, if she has one. I grunt at this thought. Why was I so concerned about her having a boyfriend?

I catch her at the morning meeting giving orders like nothing has happened. I catch her eye and I see a thread of fear tracing within. But she breaks away and continues on. I sigh and try to catch her, but she slips past the doors before I can call her name.

The days are a blur. Patients coming in by Heli increases and we are getting more patients by ambulance too. Luckily, the interns are progressing well. Natori, under Hiyama's guidance, is less snobbish than before. I scoff. He reminds me of myself when I was an intern. Arrogant, to the point where we couldn't accept criticism. Yukimura is much less arrogant and changed slightly with Saejima's influence. It might as well be her attitude to compete with Saejima. Both Yokomine and Haitani are much bolder in accessing patients and more confident when on site at scenes. I usually find them together discussing how they can improve and researching more on different surgical procedures. Shiraishi's right. Once I came back, everything has improved.

However, that doesn't seem to be the case for the rest of us.

Hiyama has turned to Shiraishi's bodyguard. She follows her wherever she goes at home. Nothing strange has happened, although Hiyama did notice that Shiraishi had a tendency to space out when she is in a conversation. At times, she will apologise politely and pretend nothing happened, then continue on about another topic. Other times, when Hiyama asks about her habit, she will scurry away to her room and not come out till the next day. Hiyama, out of sheer respect, decides not to disturb her.

Fujikawa and Saejima are keeping close eyes on her. Like a mother and father, Shiraishi was their precious baby chick. Saejima glances over to her every now and then during flight duty and Fujikawa has taken on a more serious tone and attitude around her. We all know he's a gossip king, and as weird as it may sound, I miss that side of Fujikawa. But now, he had to change his mind set. No time for joking around anymore. Not till Shiraishi was back to who she was and until she feels safe.

Shiraishi is in the worse. She took on many other things. Extra shifts when others couldn't, reports, documents, extra rounds, it didn't matter. She took her job to the extreme. At times, I'll leave a can of coffee and a note for her to rest. But I'll always see the can and note by the side of her table. It would only disappear a few days later. I tried catching her at the Helipad, but our timings never manage to catch one another. She would be too late, I would be too early. Worse of all, she was draining herself out. She looked like how she looked like when she fainted in the hallways. Her eyes couldn't deny the amount of hours of sleep she sacrificed and she no longer had that glimmer in her eyes.

What's even worse is her patients.

Ever since a few days ago, her patients have been dying due to various reasons. An overdose in potassium, a decrease in saturation, a sudden cardiac arrest. It could be anything. So far, she's had about 5 patients who died.

My work cell rings and snaps me out of my thoughts. I see an emergency coming in ICU and I pick my pace up and rush towards ICU. Once there, I'm greeted by Shiraishi injecting various drugs in a patient's IV line. Looking at the monitor, a flat line still shows and a loud beeping sound echoes. I was too late. This patient was a mere 6 year old. Shiraishi stops all motion and staggers backwards. The nurse places a cloth over the patient and wheels him away. We solemnly bow in respect.

"Confirmed timing of death: 3:34pm." Shiraishi softly says to the nurse and drags herself to the desk to fill in the reports. She was dying internally, and I could see through it. I stand behind her as she types into the report. Sudden VF. This was from a patient that was healthy and still recovering from his internal injuries. Strange. I shunned that thought aside. The boy must have been suffering from too much internal injuries. She catches my reflection on the screen and her eyes look at my reflection.

"Shiraishi." I start.

"Aizawa-sensei, what are you doing here? You should be doing some rounds in the general wards." She lets out a forced laugh. "I'm okay here. I can manage."

"No. You can't." I insist to her. She stands up and walks with her file out of ICU.

"I can. I'm not distracted." She argues back. Looks like she's headed for her desk at the office. More work? This was predictable.

"Stop lying to yourself, Shiraishi. When are you going to admit it?" I raise my voice slightly and grab her hand to turn her around. Her defiant eyes stare into my angry ones. She was still trying to act.

"I'm fine! When will you stop pestering me?" She shouts at me. I keep silent, almost shocked by her attitude. "Just leave me, alone. I don't want sympathy, I don't want care. I want to be alone." Then she turns and storms to the office. There, I'm left alone in the hallway, my hand in midair, shocked at what Shiraishi did and said. I let my hand fall by my side and sigh. She still wants to lie to herself. My thumb presses against my fingers tightly and I grit my teeth together. She wasn't going to change like this. I get ready to chase after her but my cell rings. The ER was expecting arrival of ambulance and Heli at the same time. I had no time. Turning, I promised myself that I'll talk to her once I'm done.

Why was I surprised? I saw her there too. She must have taken another route to avoid me. However, she had plastered on another mask. Ordering around and sorting the doctors out in a systematic way, calling the senior doctors for help with the patients, even calling for me to help with a head trauma patient. It's as if...nothing happened. Through the warm brown eyes, she successfully masked her fear and insecurity for a short time, drowning herself in Lifesaving.

We handled more patients in the ER and I tried to concentrate on treating my patients. Although Shiraishi was my top priority, I didn't want it to take up the whole of my mind. Checking my schedule, I realised I'm on night duty with Shiraishi. It would be a good chance to talk to her. Night came in soon and I walked to the staff station, hoping to find her. Looking around, I checked if she was here, but to only find out that she was missing. Must be somewhere else. I immersed myself in some reports, filling in the report of a patient that just died due to a major hemorrhage. I'm suddenly reminded of Shiraishi's patient, before something suddenly struck me. I stop typing and stare at the screen.

How...were they dying so suddenly? I know Shiraishi long enough to know that she was never careless to the point of overdosage. She would only be careless enough to give wrong medical examinations. But she hasn't stepped into outpatient clinic this week. I also knew that all these patients could have been saved. A sudden VF would not have killed someone so early, and Shiraishi was already in ICU. The patient still had at least 5 minutes if administrated the correct procedure. Shiraishi couldn't have giving wrong drugs. She's too careful to, even without sufficient rest. So...what was happening? More questions popped in my head as I thought deeper. Why message Saejima? The person could have very well texted one of us instead. He or she could have messaged Shiraishi and warned her. But why Saejima and Fujikawa? Was it because they were a couple? Because they were getting engaged? The questions clouded over and over. The more questions appeared, my fear grows.

I hear footsteps and I see Hiyama sit down by her desk at the staff station. Followed by that was Fujikawa. They distract me from my thoughts and I pretend to continue typing on my reports.

"Aren't you all suppose to be home?" I ask bluntly.

"Shiraishi is here. I wasn't going to leave her with you, alone." Hiyama rebuts back and takes a swig from her can of coffee. I nod to Fujikawa for a reply.

"A week has passed since we've told her. She isn't getting better. I rather be here to keep watch in place of Haruka. She will never let Shiraishi be alone." Fujikawa sighs and writes in his file of documents. It brought me back to reality and sudden realisation hit me. It's been 3 hours since night shift has started. Shiraishi hasn't appeared once. Has something happened? My heart beats faster and faster. I stand up abruptly and Hiyama gets shocked by my urgency.

"What's wrong?" Hiyama asks as she stands up as well, gaining Fujikawa's attention.

"She hasn't appeared for 3 hours. Fujikawa, Hiyama, stay here. I'll go find her." They nod in unison and I turn my tracks towards the office. Peering in, her desk was still how it was this morning. Untouched, a little messy from the files and my can of juice still on her table. Walking towards her desk, I grab the juice and open the door to the resting room quietly, afraid of waking someone up. Still, it was empty. I racked my brains. Someone like me should have already figured out where she was. It finally hit me and I felt so stupid. I should have checked there first.

The Helipad.

Dashing towards the Helipad, I was right. There she was, sitting on the railings, wearing just her scrubs against the chilling breeze. Walking out, the chill stung my face, but it didn't matter now. All I was concerned about was talking sense into her. She finally noticed my presence and turned to me, as if this afternoon didn't happen. The smile still plastered on her face, hiding her true emotions and tiredness from carrying the burdens.

"Ah, Aizawa-sensei. Is anything wrong?" She still pretended like nothing happened.

"Shiraishi, don't keep this up anymore." This couldn't go on any longer, it was enough from me.

"Aizawa-sensei–"

"Shiraishi, stop it." I cut her off. "Stop pretending you are okay."

Like a criminal charged guilty, her eyes finally broke the mask and I saw all the fear and insecurity she was desperately trying to hide. She looked down in sheer guilt and I softened my pose. She kneeled on the floor and brought her hands to her face. Kneeling with her, I did what I did here 9 years ago on that rainy night. I rested my hand on her shoulder, signalling to her it was okay.

"It's okay to not be okay. Don't bottle everything up. You can rely on me." I softly said. Raising her head, her eyes were glassy and watery.

"I'm tired, Aizawa. I don't want to do this anymore." She whispered quietly as the tears silently fell from her face.

"I was hoping Lifesaving could distract me from the stalker, like how it distracted me from my own problems. But with every day I put more stress, the fear ate me more. I'm scared of everything, Aizawa." She cried through muffled sobs. My heart broke slightly. Our staff leader was silently suffering so that our team could flourish and still function. She was killing herself inside for the sake of letting others live. My arms wanted to pull her close, bury her head in my chest so she didn't need to cry alone. My head wanted to rest on top of her and my hands wanted to rub her back and cradle her head. To signify she wasn't alone. To show I was here for her.

So I did.

My hand rubbed her back soothingly and cradled her head. Her sobs were muffled against my chest as I pulled her closer. Her arms wrapped around my back, pulling me closer to her as she cried harder. With every sob and cry, the cracks in my heart deepened.

"It's okay. Cry it out." I said softly. She said nothing, but let her shell break and her true identity run loose. I held her closer with each sob, and she didn't pull away. For a moment, I wanted this to last. I wanted to cherish this moment forever that it burns an imprint in my heart. I didn't want to let her go. For a while, we were on the floor, in each other arms. Although I knew my mind screamed at me to stop, to let her go because it was inappropriate, especially in a work place, my heart urged me to rest my chin on hers. To tuck her head on my shoulder, so she had someone to cry on.

She slowly stopped, pulling away and sitting there in silence. All cried out, her face showed true fatigue and red and puffy eyes. Knowing she doesn't want to talk about it, I grab her shoulders and guided her inside to the staff station. There, Hiyama and Fujikawa were already waiting. Hiyama had a extra pair of clothes and Fujikawa had a can of warm tea in his hand. I set my can of juice to the side; the tea was definitely a much better drink than juice now. Hiyama guided her to the lockers where she changed to her normal clothes and had her hair down. Fujikawa passed her the can of tea, but she just held it in her hands. Sighing, I took it from her and made her drink a few sips to warm herself up.

She didn't do much afterwards. All she did was sit down and stare into space while we kept an eye on her and did our reports. She didn't move, but occasionally took a sip from her tea. Hiyama stole a few glances and urged Fujikawa to talk. He urged her back. Sighing, I took the initiative.

"Shiraishi, you should get some rest." I urged her. Her tired eyes said it all. Nodding, she silently complied and walked herself to the resting room at the office. Motioning for Hiyama to follow her and get rest with her, she shook her head slowly.

"Shiraishi…you understand her better than any of us here. It's best if you keep watch of her. Fujikawa and I can handle it here. I'll call if we need help." Hiyama said quietly. I nod, agreeing with her. After all, Shiraishi has seen me at my worse and my best; and vice versa. Walking to the resting room, I opened the door quietly. Shiraishi was there, sitting on a bed in silence.

"Shiraishi, get some rest." I said softly to her. She didn't budge, but just continued to sit on the bed. I sighed and sat down on the floor, facing her.

"Sleep." I said in a kinder tone than usual. Meeting my eyes, I could tell she wanted to cry again. A few tears slipped down and she quickly wiped them away.

"Aizawa, I can't. Each time I close my eyes, I see pure darkness and a fear gnawing at me on the inside." That explains why she's lacking so much sleep. I look down sadly. The fear was killing her at night.

"Shiraishi, lie on the bed." I urge her. She does uncomfortably and faces me. I take an extra blanket from the top and place it on her body. "I'll stay here. Till morning comes and Hiyama comes to bring you home." I can see the reluctance in her eyes for me to stay, but I didn't care. She wasn't going to be here alone. I won't let that happen. I clutch my cell in one hand, ready to go if Hiyama called. With my free arm, I crossed it and laid on it. My hand wanted to grab her hand, but I hesitated and shook that thought off. It would be rude and inappropriate to do so. Why do I keep thinking these thoughts? Through her shut eyes, I could faintly hear her mumble soft words. My eyelids grew heavier with every minute passingly. Fatigue was catching up with me too.

"Thank you…Aizawa. For being there for me." I heard her mumble before my eyes shut and drift away to sleep.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

That night, I felt home. Even though I was wearing my normal clothes, my eyes red, Aizawa in his blue scrubs, one hand clutching his work cell and the other as his pillow for his head and in the hospital, it was homely to me. I finally could sleep, feeling comforted and free from my troubles.

I woke the next morning to Hiyama gently shaking me. She looked all worn out from the night shift. Looking around, I saw that Aizawa wasn't here anymore. Did he leave to a emergency surgery? Flight duty? Back home? Hiyama's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Shiraishi, let's go home." She softly said to me with a warm smile. In return, I smiled—a real, genuine one—and nodded. I walk to my desk and notice a new can of coffee on my desk. I pick it up and smile.

 _Sorry I didn't stay till you woke up._

 _Rest well, Shiraishi. I'll always be there with you._

 _-Aizawa._

That sounded familiar. Did I say that before? Or did he say it? I'm not sure. It would be nice to give him a reply, though. In return, I grab one of my pens and a sticky note. I stick it on his desk and walk back to the resting room.

 _I'll be there for you too. Thank you, for everything you've done for me._

 _-Shiraishi._

"Hiyama? On second thought, I want to work." I turn to her at the resting room. The concern on her face gave it away, but I laughed.

"I'm okay. I'm not alone anyways." I mused with a slight hope in my voice. She smiles and gives in to my request.

"The things that man can do to change you." I hear her laugh.

"Eh?"

"I'll be in the resting room if you need me. Don't stress, Shiraishi." I hear her yawn and crash on one of the beds. I walk myself to the lockers and take a shower and change to some scrubs. Walking my way to the staff station, I could almost see Fujikawa's and Saejima's shock when I said good morning. I quietly laughed as Saejima turned to Fujikawa, clueless of what happened and my change in attitude. Unfortunately, Fujikawa was just as clueless and lost at my change.

"Fujikawa-sensei, do you mind going with me to stock on some supplies with Saejima-san? Yukimura-san isn't here now, and I think she will need some help." I finally say, putting them out of shock. Saejima opened her mouth to speak, knowing it wasn't a job of a doctor to do so. I held my hand up to stop her.

"Saejima-san, it's still early. It's okay for us to help you." I laugh. Immediately, I can see the relief that flooded the couple's face. I was back to normal. Together, we helped Saejima stock on some supplies till Yukimura came. Yukimura apologised profusely to us, but we reassured her that it was my own initiative to help Saejima. Yukimura, shocked at my actions, nodded slowly and I chuckled silently. Saejima merely smiled and told her to proceed with other things.

"Fujikawa-sensei, shouldn't you be resting? You were on night shift. It's best you catch a few hours of sleep." I assured him. Nothing felt more relieving to see the cheeky smile on his face again. He nodded and on Saejima's request, drove home to catch a few hours of sleep. However, he promised to come in the afternoon. Saejima preps the emergency bag and I excuse myself to the office. The need for putting on the mask didn't matter anymore. I was safe, here with friends, and Aizawa.

I grabbed the can of coffee Aizawa left on my desk and took a drink from it. Even cold, it felt warm in my system. Almost instantly, he walked in to the office. His eyes softened at my sight. I smiled back and waved the coffee in the air.

"Ahh. The coffee." He said and sat at his desk. It suddenly hit me I needed to tie up some loose ends.

"Sorry…I shouted at you yesterday." I apologised embarrassed. He nodded and continued typing his reports. "Also, thank you. For staying with me the whole night."

"Did you get a good rest?" I nodded in reply. He looked up from his reports and gave a small smile. I did so back to him and I got to work to write my reports. In less than 10 minutes, both of us were off to the ER receiving patients, and up on the Heli or OR, giving treatment to patients. My patients didn't die, miraculously, today. It was relieving, to know everything was back to normal. Even the interns were surprised whenever I talked to them. They would just stammer and turn to each other in confusion.

That night, I was on the train with Aizawa back home. As usual, he insisted he sent me home. Despite my constant arguments that I could take care of myself, he refused and followed me. Through the walk to my apartment complex, he raises the topic of my patients dying suddenly. As he speaks, I felt my fear grow and stopped in the tracks. I connected some dots. Could it be…?

"Aizawa…" I trail off.

"What's wrong?" He stops and stands closer to me.

"You're right. My patients can't die so fast from VF, and I was there too. Today, I noticed that when I was rebooting the heart rate of the 6-year-old yesterday, the monitor was loosely plugged in." I admitted.

"It's like someone plugged it out and plugged it back in a rush." Aizawa mused. We both thought of the same thing. Anonymous message, patients dying. Someone was killing my patients. Someone was causing these incidents to happen.

That person is working in the hospital.

But…who?

* * *

 _a/n: another update! yay! thank you all for your lovely reviews! had fun reading about how you thought the last part was making you all die to find out who it is. i just recently finished planning out my entire plot for this story, so i hope you guys are up for some interesting and plot twisting things!_

 _i took on a different take on this chapter, due to the fact that i wanted to concentrate more on Aizawa's thoughts and how he felt. it's similar to S1 when he ran out after her in the rain (the start of the ship AHH). will you guys want to see it through Shiraishi's eyes? let me know! ill write a bonus one for you guys!_

 _let me know how you guys felt about this chapter! keep guessing on the motive and why he or she would do this to Shiraishi! leave some reviews! thank you all for reading and favouriting this! very much appreciated! thanks for reading and love you all!_


	4. Chapter 4: Uncontrollable Thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters, unless stated.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

Things were back to normal. I didn't need Hiyama to stay outside of the bathroom and ramble about her love life as I shower. I didn't need her to wait for me till I fell asleep before she went to sleep. I didn't need Saejima to constantly remind me about my appointments during the work day. I didn't need Fujikawa to have eagle eyes around me. Aizawa didn't need to give disapproving looks to me, to show that I was working too hard. I felt safe, with them now. They didn't need to worry anymore.

Besides them being back to normal, things have been more interesting in the hospital. The 3 intern doctors are more mature and well trained. Natori has been more willing to help out in surgery and cooperative in giving treatments. Yokomine has spoken up more and let her boldness show, by taking the first step to contact consultations without us giving instructions. Haitani is more focused and manages to derive the conditions the patient might have faster. Yukimura is definitely more efficient, and I catch her volunteering at the children's ward. Saejima recommended that she did for experience to be a good nurse. Things really have changed, but they can grow so much more.

Aizawa has...become different. Around me, he has adapted to a softer personality. Small smiles when we are alone. Sitting together for meals at night shifts. A simple shoulder-to-shoulder walk to my apartment complex. A casual laugh when we are on night shift, video-chatting my mother and father. I tend to chat them every week, where I have night shifts. Whenever Aizawa is around, he tends to scoots himself next to me and politely talk to my parents. They have taken quite a liking to him. Although he always apologises for interrupting to our family, my parents laugh it off and ask him to join in. At times, I find them asking "Where Aizawa-san?" when I first turn on the camera. Aizawa and I don't show this in the presence of others. We know it may spark up rumours, so we tend to do it when we are on night shift alone, or at the Helipad, where we will talk about our troubles.

"Shiraishi, can I ask you a question?" Hiyama asks as she sips on a beer. I just got done showering and was blow-drying my shoulder length hair.

"Mm, what is it?" I reply, paying not much attention.

"Do you have interest in Aizawa?" Hiyama ask as she puts her beer down. I almost choke on my saliva. Hiyama has a shocked expression, shocked by my reaction.

"Hiyama-san, are you kidding? No, I don't. I don't have any time for a relationship." I rebut back and rub some oil in my hair.

"Why?"

"N-Nothing. Just that the way both of you do things are very like a couple." Hiyama teases. I reach over and grab a pillow before throwing it at her her. I hear her groan and I laugh.

"There's nothing going on between us." I affirm her. She nods suspiciously and continues to drink her beer. I don't pay too much attention to this matter. We quickly discuss some reports together and I excused myself to bed first. I toss and turn as I thought of the question Hiyama asked me.

I'm aware of the many nurses and department doctors who watch Aizawa from the side, hoping to get his attention. He was known for being one of the most good-looking doctors in Shohoku. I could definitely see why many females fall for him. Strong jawline, deep brown eyes and built figure. I myself would admit he was good-looking. But I wasn't one of them who fell for the neurosurgeon. Even though we are close, I maintain a business relationship with him.

Did I like Aizawa? I don't think so. Even though many tease us and we do have a very close relationship, I can't picture myself with him. But my heart flutters whenever I sit by him. My breath is hitched whenever our hands accidentally touch each other. I feel hot and flustered whenever I'm with him. Was this…normal? I bite my lip as I face the ceiling. Shaking my head, I tell myself to not think so much. Both of us are merely…good friends.

The next morning, I'm encountered by Aizawa at the lift, along with Shinkai. Bowing a morning greeting to them, they return it and I can see the tension between them two. I stand towards the entrance of the door, like I always do, right in front of Aizawa.

"Has Aizawa been giving you trouble when he transferred to Lifesaving, Shiraishi-sensei?" I hear Shinkai ask. I turn and shake my head awkwardly.

"I was more concerned about his sharp tongue and harshness, but he has improved quite a bit." I honestly say and smiled. It was true. Now, instead of harshly giving orders, he guides the Fellows more patiently. Definitely better than criticising them straightforwardly.

"Ah, it seems as if you've known each other for quite some time." Shinkai muses. I catch a glance towards Aizawa, of which he had his eyes facing the ground and his hands by his side, fiddling with his scrub pockets. I can almost see that annoying tinge in his eyes.

"That's only because we've known each other for a long time." I simply say.

"I see." Shinkai muses. The lift stops and he gets ready to walk out, but stops at the door and faces me.

"Shiraishi-sensei, how about you have dinner with me tomorrow?" Shinkai ask as he holds the lift door from closing on him.

"Eh?"

"I'll meet you outside the hospital tomorrow." He smirks and turns to look at Aizawa behind me before walking away. I barely even have time to react to him and the door closes shut. I'm left stunned with Aizawa in the lift, minding our own businesses. I have only met Shinkai a couple of times. If Aizawa was busy with his own patients, Shinkai will step in and handle our patients if we needed Neurosurgery's consultation. Besides that, I barely talk to Shinkai.

So why ask me out for dinner?

"What...does Shinkai-sensei-" I'm cut off by Aizawa before I can ask my question.

"He wants to take you on a date." He replies quickly, as if he was in a bad mood.

"Date?"

"He likes you. So he asked you out." Aizawa simply replies.

I bite my lip lightly, and toy with my fingers. Was he annoyed? His eyes showed some inferiority and anger, as if he was annoyed by the question Shinkai asked. The lift stops at the floor we are going to and he walks out without looking at my direction. I follow behind him and quickly catch up with him. He quickly walks to the office and the door almost slams on me.

"Aizawa, wait!" I call out and hold the door.

"What?" He says through his gritted teeth. I'm so glad we are the only ones here in the early morning. The other doctors don't get here till 30 minutes later.

"What's up with you? Are you angry?" I question.

"I'm not." He sighs and grabs his files messily. I push the files he's gathering back on the table and he lets out a long sigh.

"What do you want?" He growls angrily at me.

"Tell me. What are you angry about? It's clear you are angry." I confront him.

"It's nothing." He says and avoids my eyes.

"It's not nothing." I snap back at him. "You don't say nothing and walk out on others like that."

"I told you, it's nothing!" He snaps loudly at me. I stand there in silence as he breathes in and out in anger and grabs his files. He walks out of the door and slams it hard as I stand there and huff out angrily. I walk to my desk and grab the items I need and head to the ER to prepare.

We don't talk. Besides, we are too busy to. He has flight duty and I'm busy at outpatient clinic, only being called in to the ER for emergencies. Even if we do talk, he just explains the medical conditions and does his work as a doctor. I don't bother talking to him. We only talk if we were treating a patient or giving instructions to one another. I sigh as I wrap the leg of a patient in HCU.

"What's wrong?" Fujikawa ask as he assist me.

"Nothing." I lie.

"Is it Aizawa? I could sense tension today." Fujikawa teases me with a cheeky smile. I almost choke, but I quickly cover it up. Was the tension obvious? Even the gossip king noticed.

"Eh? No, none of that sort." I quickly lie and finish up my treatment.

"Oh? Really?" Fujikawa continues to tease. Saejima manages to catch on this and scolds him for butting into other people's business. Those two never fail to make me laugh. How did they end up dating? I retreat to the staff station and finish up on some reports. Aizawa is there seated diagonally across me writing some reports. I ignore his presence and concentrate on my reports alone. Midway through the afternoon, I receive a text.

 _To: Shiraishi_

 _From: Shinkai_

 _I have night shift tomorrow. Can we have dinner today instead?_

I quickly reply him. I am free tonight…Might as well.

 _To: Shinkai_

 _From: Shiraishi_

 _Sure. I'll meet you outside the hospital after work._

"Oh? Who are you texting? Guy?" Hiyama asked as she spins her chair towards mine.

"None of your business." I jokingly say to her and continue my reports. Hiyama pouts and opens her mouth to pester me more, but gets a call from HCU that she's needed. From the corner of my eye, I can see Aizawa frown to himself and type his reports with his eyebrows furrowed. I ignore it and continue writing my reports till its time for dinner.

"Hiyama, can you take the car home? I'll come home later." I tell her as I walk to the lockers with her.

"Why? A date?" She teases.

"You could say so..." I admit to her as I keep my items in the locker. She stands there with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide and big.

"Who?" She immediately presses.

"Shinkai-sensei. He asked me this morning." I tell her as I take my clothes to change in the changing room. I change to simple clothes: a blouse and a skirt with my flats. I untie my hair from the ponytail its in and ruffle it slightly to loosen it up. I stop and let my hand drop to my side. I was suddenly reminded of Aizawa and I sigh. Is he going to be okay doing night shift? Was he going to be alone? I quickly shake my thoughts out. He was a grown adult. He knows how to take care of himself.

"Shiraishi." Hiyama ask once I got out from the changing room.

"What?"

"Are you going like this?"

"Is there anything wrong?" I scan my choice of clothes.

"It's a date, Shiraishi!" Hiyama exclaims and insist that I do something with my hair and put on at least some makeup. I reject her offers and quickly escape her plans for her to doll me. I grab my bag and contemplate leaving something for Aizawa to eat, but don't and leave the office. I make my way to the ground floor and see Shinkai waiting for me at the entrance of the hospital. He's wearing a jacket, a button down and black jeans with dress shoes. It looks like he styled his hair as well. I immediately regret not bringing a coat and not styling my hair. Looks like I have to deal with what I have now. He smiles at me and looks up from his cell. I smile in return and walk up to him. My stomach turns and I feel as if someone is watching me. Someone…like Aizawa.

"Should we go?" He ask as he offers his arm. I link my arm with his casually and nod.

Somewhere in my mind, I couldn't help but feel guilty as I walk with Shinkai out of the hospital.

* * *

Aizawa POV

The worst mistake I've made so far.

Being stuck on night shift didn't help with my mood. I shouldn't have shouted at Shiraishi and just plainly said that I was tired. I didn't know why I shouted at her either. The way Shinkai looked at Shiraishi angered me. Why was I surprised? She was one of the doctors known for being hardworking and a natural beauty. She barely wore any makeup to work, and still had a natural glow that attracted most doctors. I won't deny it myself. Snow-white skin, rosy cheeks and big warm brown eyes, it mesmerised most doctors the most. When she stepped into the lift, Shinkai was already struck by her beauty. I could only roll my eyes. He further decided to push it by asking her out. My blood boils every time I think about that man.

Just finishing up some reports, I walk down to the convenience store to get myself some food and I notice Shiraishi walking in front of me to Shinkai at the entrance. Shiraishi was wearing a outfit I've seen countless times before in, instead her hair was let down. I could see why so many doctors from Shohoku crushed her. She was indeed beautiful. Shinkai was wearing a jacket, a button down shirt and simple jeans with dress shoes. His face brightened at the sight of Shiraishi and I almost feel this burning in my heart. His arm extended out for Shiraishi. I almost wanted to run there, grab her arm and run far from him. I wanted to tell her not to take it, but who was I kidding? Shiraishi, being a polite girl, linked her arm with his and they exited the hospital. They looked just like a couple from behind. A perfect one, in fact.

I sigh and pretend I didn't see anything. Sitting down outside the convenience store, I bury myself in my thoughts while chewing on my bento. Was I jealous of Shinkai that he asked Shiraishi for a date? Was I rude for not apologising to her today? I should have just told her I was angry at Shinkai before that, or made up some lie. I could never tell her that I was jealous. I took a long drink of my coffee. The realisation hit me and I felt my blood rush to my face.

I…liked Shiraishi.

I felt the heat against my cheeks and I was grateful I sat at the back, facing a secluded corner. I look down in sheer embarrassment and bit my lip before continuing to munch on my bento. I never thought I might like this doctor I've known for so long. I sighed as I thought about it longer. Shiraishi won't accept it. She likes to keep the personal relationship outside of work. I scoff to myself at the events that happen today. While Shinkai and I are rivals, we literally rival at everything. From patients, to love interest. I feel embarrassed thinking Shiraishi as my love interest. I finish up my bento and return to doing my rounds.

Sitting back down on my desk, I can't stop thinking of Shiraishi. What was she doing with Shinkai now? Eating a luxurious meal while chatting with a glass of wine in hand? Was she fidgeting with her fingers because she was nervous when she was with Shinkai? Was she nervous that she might screw up her first date in such a long time? I shake my head and rub my temples. She was a grown adult. She probably had many dates before him. She knows how to take care of herself. Fujikawa saw this and landed a solid pat on my back.

"What, are you troubled?" He muses with a smile. I shake my head in denial.

"Ah, no. Just tired." I lie.

"You know, did anything happen between you and Shiraishi? You both seem different." He dives straight in and pulls a chair to face me. I keep my emotionless face and turn to him. Gossip king managed to spot this? We must have been giving away many clues of our awkwardness.

"Nothing happened. Can you help me take care of these reports?" I quickly change the topic before he can continue asking and walk to the Helipad. In the quiet dead night, it's the best for me to clear my thoughts. I lean against a railing and gaze up to the dark sky, speckled with white sparks of stars. I let the wind carry my thoughts away and clear my head.

Shiraishi was still one of the thoughts that clouded my mind. I fiddled with my fingers as I thought about her and the time I spent with her this past month or so. I then realised, I never spent so much time with someone before. The times I spent with her eating during our night shifts, the many nights I sent her home, the occasions I got to say hello to her parents. I've never been this close to anyone other than my grandmother. She was also the few that bothered to talk to me besides how harsh I was towards people at the beginning. She managed to break the wall I've built for so many years.

Do I like her? I don't know. My heart always acts fidgety next to her and I feel my mood being lifted tenfold whenever I'm with her. Her smile was always radiant towards me and she was the only one I could be so comfortable with. But good friends are like this to each other…aren't they?

Maybe she and I are as far as good friends.

I return to the station after awhile and do up the rest of my reports and documents. Tonight, things are quiet, a rare occurrence for such in Shohoku. I only check the patients in each ward. No interesting cases tonight. I catch Fujikawa dozing off at his desk and urge him to go home. It was reaching dawn and I stifled a yawn. I check the time and stretch my stiff shoulders. Looks like my shift is ending. I arrange my files together and I see someone watching me from afar. The shoulder length hair gives it away. It was Shiraishi.

She opens the door to the office and awkwardly narrows her eyes behind me, where the Helipad is. I nod, understanding her meaning and pack my items before following her to the Helipad. The sun was beginning to rise. She's standing there waiting with her handbag, obvious that she didn't go to her locker first. The sun rays glimmered and gave a warm glow to her face.

"S-Sorry, I ignored you yesterday." She apologises softly. I softened my composure.

"I should be sorry. I shouldn't have shouted. I was…tired and annoyed by Shinkai." I admit, not revealing too much of my thoughts. "Was yesterday…good?"

"Eh?"

"I saw you leave with Shinkai yesterday."

"A-Ah…It was…alright." She stammers and lets out a nervous laugh. Was she hiding something? I lean against the railing and she does so next to me. We stay like this for awhile as we watch the sun dance behind the clouds, slowly rising to full height. We gaze off and look at the grass from afar ruffle against the wind and the warmth of the sun hugging us, warming us outside against the morning wind.

"Did anything…happen?" I absent-mindedly muse.

"Ah, no…You should go home and rest. I shouldn't hold you back. You must be tired." Shiraishi quickly replies me and I nod, not wanting to pry into any more details of the date. She attempts to leave before me and I stop her by standing in her way. She looks up with confused eyes and my arms move by itself. I take a step forward and engulf her in a warm hug, wrapping my arms loosely around her. Her body stiffens at the action but slowly molds into my hug. Her arms slowly wrap round my back tightly. We stand there for a minute before she pulls away. Noticing what I did, I immediately feel embarrassed.

"Sorry, I didn't know-" I start to apologise.

"Aizawa, its okay. It was…nice to have a hug." She softly says and lets a light hearty laugh out. We walk side by side in silence back to the office and I pack my items. We excuse ourselves to handle our own things and I slowly pack the remainder of my items. I change out and leave the office. Walking towards the lift, I hear a familiar voice talking to Shiraishi. I stand behind a pillar, not wanting them to notice me. Shinkai happened to stop Shiraishi while she was reporting early and doing some personal duties of hers.

"Shiraishi-sensei, did you enjoy the dinner yesterday? I hope it wasn't bad." Shinkai starts.

"Yes, it was fantastic, Shinkai-sensei. Thank you for the dinner." Shiraishi laughs and thanks.

"Then, can we...go out again sometime for dinner?" I can almost see Shinkai's triumphant smirk and raised eyebrow, hoping for a yes.

There was a slight pause. _What was Shiraishi thinking?_

"Shinkai-sensei, I think you should go for someone else. I'm not your type of girl you want to be chasing." _What?_

"Eh? Why?" He gasp.

"Mm, you are good-looking, confident and bold. You should look for someone else that compliments your character. Also…I have someone else in mind." _Someone else?_

"A-Ah…" _Was Shinkai lost for words?_

"Then, I take my leave first." I hear the footsteps walk away and I see her figure walk towards the pharmacy. Now that it was safe, I sling my bag over and walk to the lift when I'm encountered by a crestfallen Shinkai. I pretend not to notice and enter the lift with him.

"She likes you, Aizawa." He says after awhile.

"What?" I muse, not interested in a conversation. _Was he talking about Shiraishi?_

"She's special, Aizawa. You should take care of her. If not…she just might say goodbye to you." I freeze and turn to him. _Goodbye…to me?_

"Repeat what you said." I said in a serious tone.

"She might say goodbye to you. What?" He gives a crestfallen look, not over the fact that Shiraishi just rejected him. I stagger back and shake my head. The lift stops at my floor and I quickly brisk-walk to the exit and walk to the train station. Shinkai just used a phrase similar to the one found in the text Fujikawa and Saejima got. It was too similar to not notice. I accidentally bump into someone and mutter an apology. Getting on my train, I continue to think.

"I must be too tired and hearing things." I mutter to myself. It must be my lack of sleep...or was it?

Was Shinkai the one that sent the message? If so, what was his intention? What does he want? Does he want Shiraishi to himself, and wants me to stay far away from her, so he can win her? The thoughts continue to drift in and out as I crawl in my bed and fall asleep.

Shinkai...What is your intention?

* * *

 _a/n: hello guys! sorry for the late update! i was having intense writers block and had to keep rewriting this chapter because i felt that it wasn't good... its probably my worst chapter so far... i might still update certain parts of it, so do keep a lookout for it!_

 _i'm busy contemplating if i should publish a one-shot book soon. what do you guys think? let me know!!_

 _always leave me some reviews and let me know what you thought of the chapter, especially the ending! love the community here, so loves from me to everyone out there!_


	5. Chapter 5: Fragility of Glass

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, unless stated.

* * *

Aizawa POV

I sigh a relief as the operating lights turn off. I take my mask off and pull off my operating gown along with my hair net and dispose them on the way out by the dustbin at the door. I take my gloves off and wash my hands thoroughly, with Shinkai following the same procedure next to me.

"It's fortunate, right? We managed to cut the tumour out just in time." Shinkai says, lightening the ominous and dark mood. I nod and crack my neck. Amano Kanade has to be rushed into an emergency midnight surgery that lasted for the whole night. Just 14-years of age, she was a successful pianist, with thousands of fans worldwide. Unfortunately, a tumour developed at the side of her brain, where it controls the movements of limbs. The risk of her having tremors was high. It could practically end her career.

But as doctors, we can only put life in front of all other circumstances. When she went into a seizure just after midnight, we immediately worked on her and tried our best to remove the tumour in the brain, hoping to not affect any of the nerves. We successfully removed the tumour, but I know that it isn't safe yet. She still needed to be checked if she had tremors. I exited the room and went straight to change into a pair of scrubs. My eyes were dropping heavily, but I had to work. Checking my phone, I see that it's just about dawn. I yawn and reluctantly grab my items before planning to get a coffee. I walk to the office and see that Shiraishi is there, changing the roster for flight duty. Today, it's Fujikawa and Haitani.

"Morning." She bows to me. I bow back and can't help but yawn from the fatigue.

"What, you stayed up the whole night?" She asks in a light tone as she places her bag down on her desk. I shake my head.

"Amano Kanade emergency surgery lasted the whole night. I'm all drained." I say and rub my temples.

"Here." Shiraishi passes me 2 onigiris and a can of black coffee. I look up at her but she merely smiles.

"Aren't you going to eat it?"

"I have extras." She proves to me and holds up 2 more. I don't reply but still look at her suspiciously. To further prove her point, she sighs and holds a plastic bag up. Inside, there's different cans of coffee and tea, along with onigiris and sandwiches.

"I bought everyone breakfast today, including myself." She declares as she matches the different coffees with different foods. A white coffee can with salmon onigiri for Saejima. Strong black coffee with a ham sandwich for Fujikawa. Milk tea along with a roasted chicken sandwich for one of the Fellows. Surely, she's matching them to their personality and what they prefer and like. Shiraishi places it on their desk and places Saejima's portion on Fujikawa's desk, hoping for him to pass it to her. She gets her own breakfast out and walks to the couch to eat.

"How was the surgery?" She asked after a short while. I chew my onigiri and gulp my coffee down.

"It was successful. But she might have a risk of having tremors. As a pianist..." I trail off and turn my office chair to the couch. I see that Shiraishi is turned around facing me as well. With our eyes, we communicate and she nods solemnly, knowing what I mean.

"Where's Hiyama? I thought she should be here." I question her, quick to change the topic.

"Eh? She's somewhere buying breakfast for Ogata-san. I think she will have a quick breakfast with him too." She says with a small smile. A while ago, a patient called Ogata Hirotsugu was admitted. As a chef donned with a Michelin Star restaurant, he took great pride in his culinary skills, and of course it relied heavily on his hands and his nimble, skilful fingers. After getting warded into the hospital, we found that he had paralysis of his upper limbs, potentially crushing his future. Hiyama, however, wanted to help him out of her own good. Whenever she is needed to visit him to supervise his rehabilitation, she is always smiling and laughing with him. If it wasn't clear, she likes him. And he likes her too.

The rest of the staff members stroll in and thank Shiraishi for the breakfast. She busily types into her reports and merely nods in reply to them. Shortly after, the morning meetings roll by and the day progressed into Lifesaving. I manage to glimpse by Kanade's ward, looking to see if she has woken up with some spare time today. I walk in a few times throughout the day to check on her vitals and make sure she is stable.

That night, I head with Shiraishi to Mary Jane's bar. Hiyama was on night shift and Fujikawa went home with Saejima, since they were extremely busy today on flight duty. As we sip on our drinks in silence, I flashback to the conversation I had with Amano Kanade before her surgery.

 _We can no longer wait. The pressure in your brain is about to be at its limit." I tell Kanade. She merely lies on the bed and sighs._

 _Going with this surgery…means a life without piano, doesn't it? How will that be like…" She muses with a light cheery tone, looking at her fingers and flexing them ever so slightly. She's always so positive, even in situations like this._

 _I wouldn't know. But… I know that life is a lot more valuable. Many are not so lucky, to be operated on, to be given a second chance. Many who are, treats their day as a blessing. To be able to live for another day brightens them. And just like you, they are given options to choose; to give up the thing they love more or their life. Even though they are surviving without the thing they love more than life, they carry on. I think…you should do the same." I say to her._

 _Kanade bits her lip and looks at her hands, then the consent form on the table. Looking at me with fearful eyes, she nods her head._

 _I'll do the operation…if Aizawa-sensei operates on me." I nod my head in reply and take in a deep breath._

 _I promise that you will play the piano once again."_

"Aizawa? Aizawa, are you okay?" Shiraishi's voice snaps me back into reality.

"Hm?" I quickly say.

"You've been silent and ignoring me. Is everything okay?" She asks in a soothing voice. I nod and finish my drink.

"You must be tired." Shiraishi muses to me and I don't say anything. She pays for my drink before I can reach to decline and we leave the bar. Walking to the train station, we exchange small talks about our outside-hospital lives and she shares more about her family to me. Her father's condition was stable, with the help of drugs and frequent visits to the hospital. Although she is worried for him, he wants Shiraishi to pursue in her dreams.

Both her mother and father are living happily at their home in Aomori. Shiraishi tends to send some money back to them, leaving just enough money for herself to last the month and a little more for savings. She asks about my grandmother, and I tell her she is still staying in the home. I frequently visit her on my off days. She is still as she was in the past, always putting herself last. I check her health every once in a while.

"Aizawa, please go home and rest. Its best if you do so. You look worn out today, especially since you had a surgery in the morning." Shiraishi urges me. I nod and she alights at her station. As the doors close, she gives a small wave and waits for the train to leave the station. I alight at my station a short while later and can feel my eyes slowly droop. I quickly walk home and change to my night wear. I lie on my bed and sigh lightly.

I was stressed. I felt way too stressed to not be alert for anything. Amano Kanade's surgery, documents from work, the normal stress from Lifesaving. I felt that I had to meet so many responsibilities again. Breathing in deep breaths, I calmed myself down and decided to get a glass of milk. Just as I got back to my bed, I saw that I had a text message from Shiraishi.

 _To: Aizawa  
_ _From: Shiraishi_

 _Are you home? Hopefully you are._

I type my reply in and send it.

 _To: Shiraishi  
_ _From: Aizawa_

 _Yes, are you?_

I wait a while and she replies.

 _To: Aizawa  
_ _From: Shiraishi_

 _Yes._ _You should rest. Good night. :)_

My face reddens and I throw myself back on the bed. Why was I embarrassed? I could feel my heart thumping against my chest and I reach up with my fist closed to my chest. Beating hard and strong. I type my reply in the phone and my finger hovers over the send button. To send or not to send? I turn myself over so I'm lying on my stomach. My body makes the decision for me by pressing the button unconsciously while I was turning. Looking at what I've done, I mutter a curse under my breath and get under my comforter. Placing my phone off silent, I prayed that tonight I was able to get a peaceful night of rest.

 _To: Shiraishi  
_ _From: Aizawa_

 _You should rest too. Good night._ _See you tomorrow._

* * *

My alarm goes off the next morning. I widen my eyes and see that I've managed to sleep through the night, without any interruptions from the hospital. I get ready and buy a simple breakfast on my way to the hospital. I arrive and eat my breakfast at my desk. Shiraishi comes in a little later and lightly bows. I nod back and continue to eat. Just as I disposed of my rubbish, my phone rings. I look at my screen and it's Shinkai calling. My heart thumped in anxiousness. Was it about Kanade?

"Aizawa, get to Kanade's ward. She's woken up." He quickly days and hangs up. I jog my way to her ward and he's there with Kanade's family and her. She gives a shocked expression and her family bows in respect to me. I bow back and observe her vitals. Looking healthy. Gently, I lift her hands up to her chin level in front of her.

"Maintain it like this." I tell her.

She does and it doesn't collapse or tremor. I heave a breath out. She's alright. I could see it on her face. The tears down her face, showing true joy that her worries have past. Her mother smiled brightly and holds a tissue towards her as she says how strong her daughter is. Reaching out, I expect the unexpected. I stagger back slightly, shocked by what I saw. The shock on Shinkai's face gave it away. But the worse was the immediate crestfallen look on Kanade's face.

Upon reaching out, her hand shook uncontrollably.

Shinkai excused himself with me to a private room with her parents. Briefly, we explained that she is back to health, but her hands will tremor. She will be required to go for rehabilitation and is best if she stays for a few days to recover from the surgery. Her parents sigh out a relief. I could tell. As long as their precious daughter was alright, the others didn't matter. We told them that her piano ambition, however, might need to come to an end. We excused ourselves and I took this time to visit Kanade for a short while.

"Sensei." She gasps upon seeing me. I sigh silently. "Will I be able to play the piano…again?"

How do you tell a girl with big dreams…that her dreams will be _crushed_ in front of her eyes?

"Maybe. Maybe not." I simply reply. Her face gave away her anger.

"Aizawa-sensei, you promised me! You promised that I could play again!" She shouts at me and rubs her hands together, in hopes that it will never tremor again. Her eyes dart back and forth.

"I did. But I broke my promise." I truthfully reply.

"Sensei…you're the worst. You ruined my dream. You killed me internally." She mutters just loud enough for me to catch. I sit there in silence, unwilling to reply. A knock on the door alerted me back. Shiraishi's head popped out through the window and she holds up her phone to remind me of the regular staff meeting. Immediately, I get up and leave the ward without saying goodbye.

"Are you okay?" Shiraishi asked softly once I stepped out and closed the door. I look at her with the most neutral eyes I can muster, but don't reply. Why burden her with my emotions? She doesn't need to know. I leave without her but she catches my sleeve and pulls me back.

"Aizawa." She lets out in a disapproving tone. As polite as she is, she seems to be the only person who calls me by my family name without a prefix in informal situations. Now in a formal situation, using my family name only, I knew she was serious. I tug my sleeve out from her grasp and nod the most normally as I can.

"You'll be late. Let's go." I quickly change the topic. She purses her lips and sighs lightly. Taking a step forward, she walks in front of me and I stay next to her and walk with her.

I don't want to burden Shiraishi with my emotions. She doesn't deserve to know how I failed to keep a 14-year-old's dream alive. I bite my lip. I hated that I failed in saving the thing more valuable than her life. Even worse, I failed in keeping a promise.

 _I_ was the reason why she could no longer pursue what she loved.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

Aizawa has been avoiding me badly. Whenever I try to see him at the Heli, he would catch my eye and quickly walk off. The times when I'm trying to talk to him today, he won't reply and only mumble. I try to ask him about it when I'm in the lift with him, but he only tells me to mind my business. The small things make a difference. My heart feels uneasy. What happened? It was uncommon for Aizawa to be so affected. I haven't seen him so affected by this since the whole anonymous stalker thing…

I clutch my file closer to me and enter the lift. _Why was he like this? Was it because of Kanade? Did I do something to anger him? Was he angry because I clutched on his sleeve inappropriately in the hallway?_ I racked my brains for an answer. I was so caught up, I failed to notice that I dropped one of my files unintentionally in the lift.

"Shiraishi-sensei, you dropped this." Shinkai hands the folder to me.

"Oh, thank you." I quickly thank him, bringing myself out of the thoughts.

"It's nothing." He smiles and nods.

"I heard Kanade-chan woke up. Is she alright?" I ask, curious about what had happened this morning. Shinkai pauses and he looks down and back up uncomfortably.

"Ah, she…She has paralysis of her upper limbs. But she doesn't have a tumour anymore. So she's in good health." He replied a little too late. The lift door stops and I walk out after bowing to him.

So that's what happened to Kanade. Aizawa must be very affected by this. But why was he avoiding me? Why was it that he had to avoid all conversations with everyone and return to an ice king, even with me? I drop my files off and pack my items. I grab my sticky note and a can of soda for AIzawa. I scribble down something, but threw it out by the trash bin. I should just leave my soda can there.

Tonight, I'm going home alone, on the train. It then hit me how his presence was quite enjoyable. Even though we don't talk much on the train ride home, his presence was comforting. Even on the walk from the station to my apartment complex, it made me realise how I'm so used to his presence. The small talks I have with him on the way to my apartment. The shoulder-to-shoulder walks, when he knows I'm tired. The times when I have to bring home so many reports, he helps me with them. The little things make me miss his presence. The walk seems longer without him.

I redden realising what I've been thinking about the past 5 minutes. I think so much about him in my life now. It's hard to understand what my relationship is with him now. Good friends? Colleagues? Best friends? I battle my brain to find the correct word and terminology. Opening my front door, I close it and drop the keys in shock after my brain manages to find the correct word and term.

Was it…a _crush_?

My heart thumped hard against my chest fast. Was I kidding myself? A crush on Shohoku's ice king? Up to now, I haven't realised how much of a impact he has had on my life. I also failed to realise how close we are. Him staying with me at the hospital when I was sick and mentally drained. Me always butting into his business and reminding him to eat regular meals. It was almost difficult to picture my life without him by me.

I reach up to my heart and squeezed my hand in a fist. Maybe my mind was right. Maybe I did have a crush on him. But was this appropriate? To have this kind of feelings to him? I grabbed myself a cup of tea. Fujikawa and Saejima has a relationship like this, no, they're getting married. I was still anxious. To clear my thoughts, I take a shower and soak in the bath for a while. As much care and concern Aizawa and I show each other, he will never accept my feelings, will he? He's too cold and me on the other hand, is merely a dense person. We have very different characters.

I reflect to the date I had with Shinkai and groan out loud. Throughout the entire date, I kept thinking of Aizawa, I couldn't concentrate on the date itself. Shinkai had to keep asking if I was okay and I felt so guilty. Finally, the date ended quickly since as doctors, rest was extremely important to function. Furthermore, by the end of the date, I knew my feelings toward Aizawa was different. The reason why I rejected Shinkai…was because I felt that somewhere inside it was Aizawa.

"That won't do. He is better off with someone else." I mumble out loud for myself.

* * *

The following week, Aizawa avoids me completely. We don't have any night shifts, let alone the chance to see him and talk to him. When he's at the Heli, I'm on a emergency surgery or settling cases. Whenever I want to catch him and confront him, he quickly slips away to somewhere else. We don't even talk when we are giving treatment. Every walk I have is a silent one. Now, I take the car instead with Hiyama if she drives. If not, I suffer a silent walk alone in the cold night.

It was uncomfortable. A week without his presence, I was close to losing my head and confronting him and making him spit out whatever was bothering him. My life was so influenced by Aizawa that I can't go a week without his presence. I look at the clock on the wall. It's almost close to the end of his shift before he goes home. I sigh. Should I go ahead and confront him? I grit my teeth in anger and grab my head in frustration. He's driving me crazy with his attitude.

Before I know it, Aizawa walked into the office. He pauses and notices my presence and freezes there for a few seconds. My lips form into a frown and I get ready to stand up to confront him. He turns around and gets ready to walk away from me to somewhere else. I quickly chase after him and I know he's headed to the Helipad. I run after him and he stops just by the second set of railings. I catch my breath and sigh.

"Aizawa." I pant out and take a step forward to him.

"What do you want?" He roughly grunts out.

"Aizawa, what's wrong?" I continue to walk towards him. "You don't just shut people out from your life without a reason."

"So what? I do now. Do I need your approval and concern?" He snaps back at me. With every word, I can feel his bitterness cut deeper into me. But I didn't care. I needed to know what was wrong with him. I wanted to know what was wrong.

"Aizawa, what is bothering you? You can't let this affect everything you do in Lifesaving. This isn't helping you." I am now just a footstep away from his back. "You…shouldn't lie to yourself. Don't keep your problems to yourself."

He swings around with an agitated look on his face. I take a step forward to get closer to him but he pushes me backwards and I stumble back a few steps.

"I don't need your care or concern!" He angrily snaps at me. The anger rose in me. I lost my cool at that point.

"What happened to the doctor that ran in the rain for me? What happened to the friend that stayed with me in my low times? This burden shouldn't be shared by you alone! I am…willing to share it with you!" I shouted back at him. I could see the change in his eyes as a tinge of emotions glazed past, as if he suddenly remembered how caring he used to be. With every word that I shouted at him, my eyes were turning watery and glassy. My emotions were getting the better of me, but I kept it together. His eyes turned glassy and I saw the emotions build up in his eyes.

I take a few steps forward, knowing how uncomfortable I would normally feel when I'm with him now. I saw the emotions spill and a single tear spills over down his cheek. Instantaneously, he turns around embarrassed from this. His hand reaches up and wipes his face profusely.

"I broke my promise to her. I told her she will play the piano again." He lets out in a throaty voice. "It was hard. She spends her days in rehab. I ruined her life, it was my responsibility. It's all my fault." He lets out a soft whimper and I feel my insides crash. It has been so long since I saw him break down like this.

Taking a step towards him, I let my arms wrap around his torso and my head lean against his warm back. I very well knew it was inappropriate, but gossips were the least of my concern at the moment. Shocked by my actions, I feel him freeze but I hold him tighter. I wasn't letting go till he was alright.

"It's okay. Let me…be your shoulder to cry on now." I softly mumble into his back. He breaks free from my grasp and turns around. His tear filled eyes meet my certain ones. I pull him in and hold him as he lets the emotions take over. With that very sentence, the wall he built around himself crashed down.

I finally understood. Aizawa was like glass. A glass sculpture was beautiful, expensive and precious. Aizawa was just like that. Rare in his talent, excellent in his work, and everyone all around wanted him to work in the different departments. But with a single scratch, it no longer had any value compare to others. Finally, with enough effort, it shatters into a million pieces, completely ruined and useless. Aizawa had the last straw. He broke, just like how fragile glass can be. He shattered into pieces before me. I could hear him cry and let out choked sobs and whimpers. I rubbed his back soothingly and could only hold him tighter to me.

As time passed, I hear him turn silent and release his grasp on me. His eyes are red and puffy and I can feel the night breeze coming to its lowest peak. I check my watch and I was shocked at the timing. It's almost midnight.

"You should go home." I urge him, breaking the silence between us. He slowly moves and follows me indoors. I change and get him a can of warm tea and meet him outside the male locker room. He comes out changed, but eyes still red and puffy. I open the tea for him and make him take a few sips before I make him follow me to a nearby 24-hour-food chain. I sit him down and order a rice and soup for him. This is the first time I've seen him in such a horrible state, to the point when speaking is a task for him. He silently obeys my orders when I tell him to eat. By the end of the meal, he looks better and more responsive.

"Can you go home alone? We missed the train." I ask him as we walk to a taxi stand. He nods at me and gives a small smile as a reassuring sign. I trusted his smile and smiled back.

"Thank you…for not leaving me." He says softly as we sit on the bench.

"You never need to share all the burdens alone. I can share them with you." I say casually and toy with my fingers. "You have to make sure that in the future, with any problems we face in the future, we can confide in each other."

He unexpectedly pulls me into a hug and I slightly gasp. His hand cradles my head and he squeezes my arm. I wrap my arm around up to his shoulder and squeeze it in return. I hear a taxi pull up and let go of my grasp. I urge him to go home and I hear a second taxi pull up behind.

"Good night, Aizawa." I bid goodnight to him. As I turn to walk away, he speaks.

"Shiraishi, text me…when you're home." He tells me and I nod and let out a grin.

"Yes, yes. I will. Do the same." I quickly reply and rush to the next taxi.

The glass previously shattered has now been remodelled to another beautiful sculpture. Worth much more than before.

* * *

 _a/n: hello everyone! i apologise greatly for my delay, i've been so caught up with work and life, i couldn't find enough time to write and be creative. but i'm back! hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as much as the others! i didn't want the past chapters to all be about shiraishi, so here we have in turn aizawa and his fragility. it was honestly hard to write, since i had to crack into the ming of aizawa and know what he's going through._

 _like always, I'm welcome to reviews and everything else, so leave some if you like! i love and appreciate every review! loves from me to you!_


	6. Chapter 6: Myriad of Emotions

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, unless stated.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

I arranged the piece of egg on the bento box and quickly close the black one. Following that, I do the same for the white one next to it. Bundling it together with the chopstick set that came along with it, I grab one of the many bento bags I had and packed them together. Grabbing the bag, I stop by the fridge and grab 2 cans of tea I have on hand and throw them in the bag as well.

After what had happened yesterday night, I woke up early today to prepare lunch for both Aizawa and I. I didn't want to see him dead and mentally drained again, so I made sure I prepared a big portion for him. Although I was tired, I knew the efforts to let him know I cared would be worth it. Hiyama, on the other hand, was already out the house to see Ogata and had not seen me since the end of our shifts.

I grab everything I needed and the door bell rang. That's strange, no one rings the doorbell this early in the morning. Did Hiyama forget something, so she came back for it? Cocking my head to one side, I opened the door to find an unexpected visitor. Grey shirt, faded blue jeans and cream colored sneakers, I was greeted by Aizawa. I stumbled back and blinked a few times. What was he doing at my house?

"Aizawa? What are you doing here?" I asked, still taking in his presence.

"I'm here to go with you to the hospital. Are you ready?" He plainly says without any change of his face.

"Eh? Why all of the sudden?" I question. "Ah! Please come in! I hope you don't mind, it's a little messy due to Hiyama-san." I quickly invite him in. He politely takes a seat by the dining table and explains to me.

"You would have known if this if you could have checked your phone, Shiraishi." He says in a light tone, one I haven't heard for a while. I lightly laugh and grabbed the remaining bags I had left on the table. Checking my phone, Aizawa did send me a text to let me know he was going to go with me to the hospital today. I was so busy preparing the bentos, I forgot to check my phone.

"Well, I prepared bento boxes for you." I say and hold up the bag used to hold bento boxes. He nods and thanks me and we exchange small chats on our way to the train station. I learnt about how he used to throw tantrums as a child to his grandmother of which I lightly laugh. He merely scoffs back with a small smile, knowing how ridiculous it was of him as a child to do so. We reached the train station and boarded the train in silence, knowing that talking loudly on the train is rude.

"Thank you…for everything last night." He softly whispers to me. I shake my head.

"Ah, it's okay. Make sure you eat all of your food in the bento box. I made a big portion today because I didn't want yesterday to affect you. Also, did you sleep well? Hopefully you did." I ramble on in a nervous tone while I fumbled with my bag strap. I feel a rush of blood to my cheeks and I quickly look down, pretending to check my phone. Why was I so nervous again? I shouldn't be, Aizawa is a close friend. It was normal to ask these questions to a close friend. It was normal to buy and bring things for your close friend.

Or is it?

Aizawa was about to reply before the train door nexts to me open. I take a step forward to let the others behind me leave and passengers to board. Noticing the crowd, I knew I was going to get pushed around. Almost noticing this, Aizawa puts his arm around my hip and pulls me closer to him. My face was about to touch his chest and I could definitely smell the cologne he uses. I hitch my breath as I remain like this for a few seconds before he lets go once the door closes.

"Sorry. I, the train…" Aizawa fumbles with his words. I told him to not apologize. It wasn't his fault. Besides, if he didn't do that, I would have at the back of the train or pushed everywhere else. My face couldn't help but to redden and I fumbled with my nails. From the corner of my eye, I could see his face slightly flush underneath the tanned skin he had. Who wouldn't feel embarrassed about this?

We reached our station soon and walked towards the hospital. Upon reaching, we walked to the office discreetly, staying a good 3 meters away from each other. If anyone saw this, it would be the main gossip for Fujikawa. I place his black bento on his table and I heard some noise from the resting room. Some chatting and hushed whispers. That's right, Hiyama must be here already. But who else was here? Aizawa and I looked at each other. Aizawa had a straight face, but I could tell he was equally confused as me.

At that moment, Saejima popped her head through the door and stared at both of us. I looked at her with suspicious eyes, and I could see that her eyes were red and glassy, almost as if she just cried. Something was wrong. Saejima signaled for both Aizawa and I to come over. Still confused, we did and entered the room. Saejima quickly closed the door and locked it, in case anyone came into the room. I gasp and I saw Aizawa slightly stiffen up.

Fujikawa was still in his shorts and a plain t-shirt, but what scared me was the abrasion on his calf and the ice pack he was holding towards his thigh. Hiyama's back was faced towards us, but I could tell she was deep into concentration for cleaning out the wound he had. What happened? A simple abrasion like this should be very simple for us, but why was Hiyama so deep into concentration?

"Fujikawa-san! What happened?" I asked immediately upon seeing the wound.

"Ah, Shiraishi, you're here. I was walking with Haruka across the car park this morning when a car came and tried to run us over. I pushed Haruka towards our car and managed to get out of the way. Luckily, she only got a small cut and I fell, causing this abrasion. Ouch! Hiyama!" He complained.

"You think it's so easy cleaning your wound? Blame yourself to fall on grass and rocks!" She scolded before continuing to disinfect the wound. Fujikawa gave a disgusted look towards her before Hiyama shot her face up with a fierce look. Immediately, Fujikawa had a feared look and turned to Saejima.

"Haruka, are you okay? Does the cut still hurt?" Fujikawa asked. She shook her head. I sighed and sat down on the spare chair. It was a scary experience for both of them.

"A car tried to run you over? Did you see the driver's face?" Aizawa finally spoke up. Saejima shook her head in return.

"He covered his entire face. But it was obvious that it was a male, since he had short hair." Saejima replied him. "I think it's the anonymous stalker."

With that, the room was silent and everyone stopped what they were doing. We haven't heard of this stalker for a month or so, so it was clear that we have obviously forgotten about this. With so many things to deal with in work, we were too caught up to deal with this man. Aizawa takes a seat next to me and keeps a blank face, but rubs his thumb over and over his finger.

"We should all be careful. In whatever we do from now on, keep a look out when we are outside the hospital." Saejima says in a calm tone. It was expected of her, since she is the most mature and strongest out of us females. Aizawa tenses up beside me and I can feel an uncomfortable aura around him.

"What's wrong?" I ask him softly as I nudge his foot next to mine. He turns to me and I can see that he's hiding something.

"Shiraishi, it's…" he hesitates for a moment and grunts. "Never mind, it's a foolish thought anyways."

"What's a foolish thought?" Fujikawa catches on. All attention is on Aizawa now as he breathes in a deep breath, before letting it out.

"A week ago, I ended my night shift and saw Shinkai at the lift. We talked for a bit, but he said something that was written in the text. Word for word, and I knew it. I assumed it was because I was tired." He softly says and I remember that I had suspicions for something as well.

"That reminds me. One of my patients expired in ICU. I didn't catch it at first, but I saw that the wire and plug for the monitor was loosely plugged in. As if, someone had plugged it out and plugged it back in the right moment." I quickly add. The other 3 furrow their eyebrows in distress.

"Whatever it is, we should all watch out. Whether in the hospital or not, let's take note of our surroundings and inform each other if something feels wrong." Hiyama breaks the silence. She places a bandage on Fujikawa's leg and quickly goes out to dispose of the items used. We quickly leave to change into our scrubs and I go back to my desk to arrange a few things.

Aizawa is sitting on my chair and has a pair of concerned eyes looking at me. I pretend I don't notice and continue to do my errands.

"Why are you waiting? Don't you have things to do?" I say as I arrange some files and reports. He blocks me from retrieving my files and I'm forced to look at him. "What?"

"Will you be okay? After what happened to Fujikawa and Saejima, I'm afraid something will happen to the rest of us." He lets out and shifts after saying his piece. I grab the stethoscope and head out with him following me.

"It will be fine. Hiyama will be with me. After all…" I trail off as I see a middle-aged couple standing with a young girl wearing a head bandage not too far. They were asking some nurses for a doctor. I knew who they were. Amano Kanade and her family. Unfortunately, I wasn't the one they were looking for. It was Aizawa.

Aizawa catches sight of them and hitches a breath next to me. I can sense his discomfort and he immediately straightens his back. I turn my head slightly to look at him. The discomfort on his face was evident and I could see the fragility in his eyes.

"Will you be okay?" I ask him. "I mean, I should leave you with them alone for a private talk."

"No." I froze at those words.

"Stay with me." My heart skipped a beat. Stay with him…? I bite my lip nervously and pretend nothing is wrong. He sees my nervousness and realized how his words came out.

"I mean, it's okay. You can stay with us and talk." He quickly adds.

I internally roll my eyes. Of course, that's what he means. I almost forgot how straight forward and blunt he can be sometimes. Why was I thinking of something else? The trio catches sight of us and and their face lights up. Aizawa braces himself and walks forward. Naturally, I do the same and stay a step behind him.

"Good morning." He politely says and bows to them. I follow suit and the family does the same. Aizawa is avoiding all eye contact with Kanade, even though she looks happy and undisturbed.

"We would like to thank you, Aizawa-sensei. For your time and effort in saving my daughter's life. We are very grateful for doctors like you and Shinkai-sensei. Although Kanade may not play the piano, she seems to be improving in rehab. Isn't that right, Kanade?" Her mother turns to her teen daughter next to her. Her daughter smiles and nods. Aizawa nods next to me. Hearing the name Shinkai just makes me feel uncomfortable. After what just happened…

"Well, I shouldn't keep you for long. I think you are busy. Goodbye then, Aizawa-sensei." Her mother quickly ends the conversation, sensing the awkwardness.

She bows and we return the bow as well. Her mother's arm brushes past my arm and the bag strap catches onto my files. Instantly, this sends my files and the contents of her bag flying out between us. She lightly yelps and quickly bends down to pick up her items. I do the same and help her first before gathering my files. Aizawa is bend down next to me and helps gather my files. Upon gathering the files, I come across a pill bottle that my eyes refuse to take its eyes off. It was supplied by Psychology…Psychology?

Her mother's hand quickly snatches the bottle from my hands and the other items that I managed to pick up before she apologizes to me multiple times and returns the files to me. I decline her apologies and she quickly excuses herself and her family with a bright smile. I cock my head to one side as I think about the pill bottle.

"What's wrong?" Aizawa asks me. Should I tell him? No, its not a big deal. I shouldn't butt into other people's businesses. Who knows, it could have been Physiotherapy. I must have read the label wrongly. I did have a limited amount of sleep last night.

"Ah, nothing." I quickly reply as we take the lift together.

"I shouldn't have made you stay there, it must have been uncomfortable." He quickly tells me, embarrassed about his actions.

"No, it was alright. Besides, look at Kanade. She looks happy. I think she's recovering well." I muse, lightening the mood. We head to the morning meeting and the day progresses normally. I am off on flight duty for most of the time, while Aizawa is in the ER. Luckily, I manage to catch lunch with him at the office. He opens his bento box to reveal his lunch. I made a big portion of rice, along with some stir-fried pork and ginger and a side of egg rolls.

"Hope you like the meal. It's safe to eat, but it won't be as good as other places." I muse to him softly and he nods.

"Thank you for making it for me." He says in a light tone to me.

I nod and we dig into our meal quietly. Unfortunately, I had to rush off midway due to an emergency call and could only finish half of my meal. The only time I could sit down and eat again was at the end of my shift. I walk into the office drained and Hiyama throws me a can of cold tea. I catch it midair and open it to take a refreshing sip of it. Aizawa is by his desk finishing a report and Hiyama announces to me that she will be meeting Ogata for dinner before going back. The relationship between them two grew fast. Now, she has breakfast and dinner with him before leaving the hospital. Ogata will be moving out of the hospital soon, and has decided to live at a rehabilitation center for the time being. He is progressing well with his upper limbs, and can now hold small and light objects for a short time. Aizawa looks up from his reports and I yawn, all drained from the flights today.

"Are you going home yet?" He asks me. I nod.

"Mhm. You? Night shift?" I ask him back. He nods and sighs.

I pack my things and he makes me text both him and Hiyama when I'm home. I grab a quick dinner and a small restaurant and go home to read up on some medical reports and new studies. Hiyama comes home shortly after and she goes to my office to sleep. Since she has moved in with me, I let her sleep in my small office, although it is a little crammed. I stretch my arms and shut my laptop and head off to bed.

* * *

The next morning, I make an effort to check my phone before getting ready and I'm left with a few text from Aizawa. He texts me to let me know that he bought me breakfast and is sleeping in the hospital office. The breakfast is on my table and he tells me to wake him up once I'm there. I probably won't though, he deserves all the rest he can get. Hiyama is still sleeping and I let her sleep in. I quickly get ready and take the train to the hospital.

Walking into the quiet office, I see 2 onigiris and a can of coffee left on the table. Looking at his desk, I see that Aizawa is there sleeping. His arms are crossed underneath him, one hand clutching his private phone. He's still wearing his blue scrubs and his can of coffee is still lying on the table. I have the urge to take his jacket lying by his table and cover his shoulders. I bite my lip and carelessly knock the table. He rouses from his sleep slowly and raises his head slowly with half-open eyes.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" I quickly apologize and he cuts me off.

"It's okay. You are supposed to wake me up anyways once you're here." He says in a deep voice. I walk to my desk and Aizawa rubs his eyes. I sigh and slightly pout my lips.

"Head to the resting room to sleep. I'll call you in the afternoon." I convince him. He looks up and we stare at each other for a moment. I could tell he doesn't want to listen to me but I make him do it. He reluctantly gets up and goes to the resting room and my phone rings. It's from Hiyama.

"Hiyama?"

"Shiraishi, tell the rest I'll be late today."

"Eh? Why?" My shocked voice has stopped Aizawa in his tracks and he turns to listen to me.

"My car has something wrong with it. I'll explain more later. For now, just inform them I'll be late for my shift. I'll update the group chat on what happened."

"Okay, stay safe, alright?" I quickly hang up the call and thoughts race through my head. Aizawa notice and grabs my sleeve to grasp my attention.

"What happened?" He quietly asked before pulling me to the resting room for a private talk.

"Hiyama's car has something wrong with it. She's going to be late for her shift." I tell him and I see his eyes change.

"I knew it." He mutters loud enough for me to catch. "Shiraishi, you need to watch your surroundings more now. Whoever is doing this, might be targeting you next."

"I know, but you have to be careful too. We don't know who is going to be affected next." I softly muse out to him. We sit in silence for a while before I get up and tell him to get some rest. He reluctantly wants to, but I force him to.

Hiyama arrives just in time for the morning meeting and I continue the meeting. After the meeting, she drags Fujikawa, Saejima and I towards the resting room to inform us what happened. Aizawa is noisily woken up by us and I apologetically nod for disturbing him.

"This morning, I wanted to drive the car to work. Just as I drove off, I realized I forgot a file I left on the table. So I turned around to go back and get the file, since I had some spare time. Just as I wanted to park the car, the brakes were not working. I couldn't stop the car. Luckily, I was travelling at a slow pace and just bumped the car onto the curb to stop it from moving any further." She explains to us. Her brakes were not working…

"That means…" Saejima starts. Hiyama takes a deep breath and nods.

"That's right. Someone tampered with the brakes." Hiyama says. "I informed the mechanic and he found that the brake wires were indeed tampered with. It was ripped out and several other appliances were tampered with as well. I filed a police report too."

"This is bad. For now, we should all watch out. I went ahead to try and track the number that was found in my phone. However, it looks like it was a blocked number and provided by some overseas carrier." Saejima tells us and at that moment, Hiyama needs to rush off for flight duty. The other two get up to the ER to prepare and I quickly get up to follow as well. However, Aizawa stops me from leaving. He grabs onto my arm, stopping me from leaving.

"Shiraishi, you have to stay safe, alright? Think about yourself, too." He lets go of my arm and I let it fall to my side. I nod.

"I will. For now, sleep till its around the afternoon. We have night shift again tonight." I remind him and he lies on the bed to sleep. I carry on my duties throughout the day, with the dangerous thought of getting hurt at the back of my mind.

What was happening?

* * *

Aizawa POV

When I woke up, it was already in the late afternoon. I get up and take a shower and change to some fresh scrubs. I stayed at the office to do some reports, but couldn't concentrate at all. The whole incident from this morning was scaring me. First it was Fujikawa and Saejima, then its Hiyama. We don't know who will be next. Me or Shiraishi, it doesn't matter. We need to know who this stalker person is. The thought of Shiraishi getting hurt was too risky for myself to register. I didn't want to see her cry all over again. It was heartbreaking to see her in so much pain.

I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling. My feelings for Shiraishi…were undoubtedly growing. With all the awkwardness I had with her yesterday, it was no doubt that I was fond of her. I shouldn't have myself so obvious, it was too awkward. Now with what had happened, I don't want Shiraishi to be hurt again. I do up some papers to take my mind off of this issue and wait till it's the end of the morning shift. Shiraishi walks in with her drained face and nods to acknowledge. I slide a can of coffee to her and she rotates her neck.

"Long day?" I ask her. She nods and takes a sip of the cold coffee.

"Emergency after emergency, report after report, I could only take a bite of my sandwich for lunch today." She sighs and unwraps her sandwich and munches on it. I get up from my seat and go downstairs to file in my reports. While doing that, I get a takeaway meal from the cafeteria for Shiraishi and I each and walk back to the office. When I get back, I hear complete silence and I raise my eyebrow in confusion.

Looking at Shiraishi's desk, I see her sprawled on her desk, a plastic wrapper in hand and her cell by her arm. She must have been so tired, she fell asleep. I place the meal on my desk and look over at my jacket laying nearby. I pick it up and gently place it over her small body, covering her body from the cold temperature in the office. Sitting back down on my seat, I fill up the rest of my reports and attend to the rest of the things needed for the night shift. Luckily, tonight was a quiet night. For most of the shift, I found myself staring at Shiraishi as she slept.

She looked so delicate, beautiful and graceful. Something about her soothed me whenever I felt down. What she did for me that night, was the beauty of her heart. She could have just left her hand on my shoulder, like what I did on the night she got hypothermia. She didn't need to go all the way to hold me. But she did. She didn't care if anyone saw, all she wanted was for me to have a shoulder to cry on.

She was the only one who saw how fragile I could be. She saw my cracks and imperfections and all the mistakes I made. Anyone else would have left me to rot, saying how disappointed they were with me. Shiraishi stayed by me. She covered my flaws with encouragements and positivity. She didn't mind my mistakes. Each time I made a mistake, she would be patience with my attitude. Indeed, she taught me so much. My heart thumped loudly and I covered my face with my hand, realizing what was racing through. Just about dawn, I hear her stir and I immediately continue writing my reports, pretending that I definitely was not thinking about her the past 30 minutes.

"Huh?" She murmurs to herself and her eyes are immediately wide open.

"Ah! Sorry! I slept on the shift!" She exclaims to me and covers her face in embarrassment and mutters apologies.

"Shiraishi, it's okay. You were tired. You just wanted rest." I assure her, but she wasn't having it.

"Aizawa, I-I've been messing up all day." She grumbles and pulls on her ponytail in frustration. I sigh and walk over to her. I put my hand on her shoulder and she looks up.

"Everyone has their bad days. It's alright." I tell her and she sighs. I then suddenly realized the jacket was still on her. I walk to the counter and my face flushes red. I get us a cup of water, hoping she doesn't notice.

"Aizawa…Is this yours?" Her voice says and I turn around with the most neutral face. She has my jacket on one hand. I nod and hand her the cup of water.

"Well, thank you." She says and returns it to me. I could see the light pink in her face and she excuses herself to the lockers. Sitting down, I could only lightly smile at how she acted. Yes, I am right.

I do like her. I like her _a lot._

* * *

 _a/n: finally! another chapter update! happy with this chapter, because we finally know what_ _aizawl feels! i bet lots of you were waiting for this, so i included moments of their awkwardness in this chapter! love seeing them two._

 _i mentioned that i'm considering about a oneshot book, and some of you liked that idea, however, for now, i'll hold that off for a while till i'm ready. i'm thinking of the oneshot book to be compilations of different scenarios that can be made up during season 1,2,3 and during the hiatus. what do you guys think? let me know!_

 _as usual, reviews are welcome! let me know how this chapter went! love you all!_


	7. Chapter 7: The Numbing Pain

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

* * *

Aizawa POV

I clutch onto the bag strap on my shoulder and look around the people strolling. Looks like Shiraishi isn't done yet. How long have I been in Lifesaving? 2 months? 3 months? I don't know. But it was definitely longer than I had expected. I spot Shiraishi amongst a group of nurses behind and she rushes forward.

"Sorry! I had to file in some documents." She apologizes quickly and we walk together to the train station nearby.

For the past weeks, Shiraishi and I created a so-called system. I wait for her at the train station in the morning and we take the train together. At night, we wait for each other by the entrance of the hospital. Then, we eat at a nearby place. Sometimes, she goes home with Hiyama, but mostly she goes with me. Hiyama accompanies Ogata mostly.

All of us have been keeping watch so far. We text each other in the group chat when we are home. Fujikawa and Saejima are tracking the person down every now and then. Hiyama always checks her car before driving off. Shiraishi tends to take note of the staff's behavior. I keep an eye on Shinkai, intentionally taking the same lifts as him sometimes. But so far, nothing has been weird.

We talk a little while walking. She's bringing back some files to write a report on the Fellows, since their internship is coming close. I go ahead and help her carry one of her bags. She declines, but gives in in the end. We get off the train and walk to her apartment complex. Walking into the complex, I realize we were the only ones in the lobby, besides the guard that was just by the entrance. However, I felt as if someone else was there…watching. Turning around, I make a quick glance behind and all around. Shiraishi noticed and steps forward in front of me. Still, no one was around. Was it just my head playing with me?

"Aizawa, what's wrong?" She asks with a concern look. I look at my watch and realize that it's almost 11. Was I just tired? I must just be tired from all of this.

"Ah, nothing. Just…tired." I let out and rub my eyes. Shiraishi slightly frowns.

"I keep telling you, you don't have to send me back. You only get more tired like this." She shakes her head and sighs. I merely shrug, not knowing what to reply. She was right, but I wanted to send her home. At least…I admitted to myself that I like her. She clicks her tongue at me, but keeps her smile on. Taking the elevator up, she stops outside the elevator and glances over to her apartment, a few steps away.

"What's wrong?" I ask her as she takes in a deep breath.

"Something's wrong. I feel it." She whispers to me. She grabs her bag tighter and we cautiously walk towards the front door. She tries to unlock the door, but the door was already unlocked. Immediately, we knew something was wrong. Shiraishi and Hiyama are not so careless to forget to lock their front door. Without her asking me, her hand grabs my sleeve tightly, afraid of what was going to happen. Taken aback by the action, I recover from this and place my hand on top of her warm one. Pushing it down, I let her hold onto my arm instead and we both cautiously open the door.

What awaited us was a mess. But it was different. Very different. This morning, I remember glimpsing that the house was neat and tidy, like how Shiraishi likes it. She even told me that Hiyama was on night shift today, and the house could be tidy for awhile. This was bad. Our eyes trail over across the room, and we see that her couch has several knife slashes in them. Various picture frames she has are smashed on the floor.

The house was broken into…

We keep our shoes on and cautiously walk to the kitchen just by the door. We glance around, and there's nobody there. I pick up a pairing knife lying on the chopping block and we walk towards the office. Peering into it, we glanced to see if anyone was hiding inside there. Quickly, we checked the rest of the rooms and Shiraishi checked to see if any valuables were stolen. None were stolen. However, her furniture was wrecked badly. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Shiraishi was shaken by this. The way she fumbled with her fingers told me how hard her heart was beating.

I squeezed her shoulder and I saw her eyes relight. She gently placed her hand on top of mine and squeezed it back, reassuring me that she's alright. That determination in her eyes… the way her eyes sparked with hope… it was just like how I remembered when I initially left Lifesaving. Strong.

I cut the eye contact and I dialed for the police. Shiraishi dials for Hiyama to update her. Luckily, the police station was close to her apartment. The police came quickly and cordoned off the house. We answered the police's questions and we had to be brought for interrogation. By the time it ended, it was midnight. We left the hospital at 8 or so. Stranded at the police station, Shiraishi had no home for the night. We walked to a 24-hour cafe, of which she searched for nearby hotels. Sitting in front of her, I could hear her interact with some staff and her persistent convincing of the receptionist. She finally hung up on her last call and dug into her bowl of soup moodily.

"Can't find a place?" I asked her as I eat. She shakes her head and played around with her rice.

"The hotels and motels are all full. I guess I'll head back to the hospital for the night." She sighs. The words that I had in my mind came out faster than I could stop it.

"You can spend the night with me." I blurted out, and immediately wanted to slap myself. What was I saying? I like her but…this was too much! She froze and looked up in pure shock.

"Eh?"

"I-I mean, since you don't have a place to stay, I have an extra room in my house too." I quickly mention before she gets the wrong idea. That was true, on occasions that my grandmother will come over, I have the room prepared for her. The room was meant so that I won't wake her up after my night shifts in the early morning.

"Ah, it's okay! I can sleep at the hospital for awhile. Besides, it won't be long." She tried to convince me. Somehow, I didn't want her to sleep there. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted her to be with me.

"Shiraishi, if you sleep at the hospital, you are going to go crazy looking at the reports. You will never get your rest when there's an emergency all night." I bluntly stated. Her eyes show uncertainty, but realizes what I say is true. She will never be sleeping if they get cases at night.

"Fine, but what about Hiyama?" She asks. Always putting others before herself. Very Shiraishi like, even in cases like these. I convinced her that they can take the rooms and I can sleep on the couch. The couch was fairly comfortable, and I often lay took naps there in the past when I was studying in medical school. Finally, she was convinced to stay there.

We walked back to her house and she asked the police for permission to enter and get her personal items. She packed them all in a bag and made sure she wasn't bringing anything unnecessary. It was just a few days. From there, we took a cab to my house. In the cab, I tried my best to not be awkward. Female coworkers of mine are staying at my house. No, not just coworkers, a female companion whom I will admit that I fancy her is staying at my house. I rubbed my temples, in effort to try and make this issue not bother me anymore.

We arrive at my apartment quickly, and I show her where she can sleep and where Hiyama can sleep. For the time being, she was sleeping in my room and Hiyama was sleeping in the other room. I keep some of my items away in a closet and show her the different areas of the house. It was already close to 1. She nods and thanks me for letting her stay in my house. I merely nod back.

"Aizawa." She calls out before I leave my room. I turn around to face an uncomfortable Shiraishi. I sigh and place my hands on top of her shoulders. I bring her into a hug and she stays there as it is.

"I'm scared." I hear her whisper to me.

"It's okay. You are safe here. You are safe with me, alright?" I comfort her and give her a light squeeze. "It's late. You should sleep soon." I let her go and she does so too, although I'm sensing a bit of reluctance. Was it just me? I leave the room and close the door as well. Landing myself on the couch, I fall asleep faster than usual. Was it because of Shiraishi? I can never tell.

By the time I woke up, it was early morning. I was on little hours of sleep, yet my alarm went off. I cursed under my breath and got up from the couch. Oh, how I wished to sleep more. I hear a door open and I'm suddenly reminded that I have guests in my apartment. I'm greeted by Shiraishi with a bit of bed hair and she softly greets me. I do the same, with a sore morning voice.

"Aizawa, do you mind if I were to make us coffee?" She asks from the kitchen. I quickly say I don't mind. She starts the coffee machine and she asks if I like to get ready in my own bathroom or the guest's bathroom. I'm alright with either, but I choose the guest's bathroom.

After about 20 minutes of us getting ready, I wait for Shiraishi and we leave the apartment together. We stop by a convenience store for some healthy breakfast and we take the train to the hospital. On the way there, I could see that Shirashi is fidgety. I want to tell her everything is fine, but that would only be me lying to her. Nothing is fine, now that her house is broken into. While walking to the hospital, I realise she's distancing herself from me, walking a few steps in front of me.

"Shiraishi." I call out to her as I walk faster to catch up. I heard a muffled reply, but she just walks faster.

"Shiraishi." I call out again, this time grabbing her arm and turning her around to face me. Her face avoids my eyes and I could see those glassy eyes hold what she wants to say. I soften my grip on her and give her arm a light squeeze. Pulling her into a semi-hug, she doesn't budge, but lets me hold her.

"You are safe, alright? There's nothing you should fear." I could only comfort her with simple words.

"What if something else happens?" She whispers to me softly and pulls away. A tear slips down and I quickly wipe it before she can.

"Then I'll protect you. And so will Hiyama, Fujikawa, and Saejima. We will protect you." I convince her. I see the light flush of her cheeks and she nods. "Don't let it affect you. Now, we require a staff leader, even more so a doctor." She lightly laughs at my comment and we continue to walk, making a few remarks about each other.

The day was more hectic than usual. Patients were wheeling in from everywhere. ICU, HCU, the ambulances and Heli. We were extremely busy, nobody had time to ask about Shiraishi. I was handling case after case and barely had time for a meal, even least so a coffee. By mid-afternoon, I finally had time to drink a coffee and bite into a sandwich.

I heard a hushed whisper, and I see Hiyama signaling me. I nod at her direction. She looks around if there's anyone and leans in to me.

"What happened last night?" I give a brief explanation up to the point where I mentioned that Shiraishi slept at my apartment. She almost spat her tea out before looking at me with a glare.

"You took Shiraishi home?" She spits out at me in a hushed, but loud and angry voice. "Did you do anything? You better not, or I'll make you pay so hard that you won't come to face me anymore."

"She's just sleeping at my room. I slept on the couch. Besides, I have another spare room for you as well." I grunt out. Hiyama was _sure_ fierce when it came to things like this. Her face slightly turned into a shocked expression and she nodded at my remark.

"Either ways, I'm sleeping at the hospital. I've been taking too many people's houses now." Hiyama said to me and stretched her arms out. "Don't do anything to Shiraishi. She might be an angel but don't take her for granted at all. I know how much you love her so don't– "

This was my turn to spit my coffee out. Was I _really_ that obvious with my actions? I'm seriously clueless about things like these.

"How did you…How did you know I…love her?" I could only stumble on my words.

"Gosh, you're just like Shiraishi in these kind of instances. It doesn't matter, but keep her safe, alright?" She quickly ends it off just as someone else walks in. Shiraishi has her fringe all messy and she sits down to grab some items and to fill in a report. Hiyama was the first to start talking.

"Shiraishi, I'll be staying here at the hospital, alright? I rather not take up people's houses again." Hiyama says to her. This raises Shiraishi's attention of which she shoots up.

"Eh? What?" She looks to me and I slightly shrug. Just as we want to say more, the emergency phone rings, and we get into action. We are pushed into patient care till we end our shift. Shiraishi and I meet as usual and we sit down at a small restaurant to eat while we discuss some new medical reports and review the day at work. I could tell Shiraishi's discomfort and I looked around to realize why. Surrounding us, were couple after couple, except we weren't one. We looked like we were on a date, unfortunately we weren't on one. We quickly paid and I offered to pay, but Shiraishi paid in the end, as an appreciation for her letting her stay in my house.

We got home soon, of which we separated to shower in the bathrooms. Once we were done, we both sat down at the living area where I poured both of us a mug of tea. She sat still on the floor and didn't move much. We just sat down in silence and drank our tea.

"What do you think is going to happen next?" She asked softly, her voice barely louder than a whisper. I thought for awhile and sat my tea down.

"It doesn't matter." I replied. "You shouldn't fear anything. All your friends are here to support you and protect you. Don't run and hide from your true potential. Remember who you were when you took charge of Lifesaving after I left?" A nod from the corner of my eye. "Be that person. Bold and strong. Where did she go? I'm finding that Shiraishi now."

"But, aren't you afraid that the mysterious person will harm you?" She asks concerned and I found myself already much closer to her.

"I am. Every day and every minute. But, if I was to be honest, I am much more concerned about you." I admit to her. We sit side by side to each other and she rest her head against my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and we sit like this for awhile, in each other's arms. We don't talk, just occasionally sipping on the tea. I see that she stifles a yawn and let her go.

"Go and sleep, you look tired." I urge her. She nods.

"Aizawa, sleep in your room tonight. I'll take the guest room." She tells me and I nod. She brings her bags over to the guest room and we bid each other good night. Lying in my bed tonight was a totally different experience. The warmth I got from the covers on top of me… was so comforting. I could smell the sweet scent of Shiraishi's shampoo and body wash, that made it so warm and fuzzy inside. Was this how I was suppose to feel? Warm and numb around my heart? I pulled the blankets over myself more, enveloping myself in the warmth. Falling asleep never came faster.

This time… it felt as if Shiraishi… was there with me.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

I kept this arrangement for the rest of the week. Before I knew it, I was back in my own home. The police had conducted their investigations but couldn't find any clues. They concluded that it was a threat from someone and they had purposely picked my lock as to come in and break certain items. I sighed out loud as I ruffled my hair and leaned back, resting the back of my head on the couch.

"What's wrong? Miss Aizawa's home?" Hiyama jokes with me. I shift my eyes to her and give her a plain look.

"Not funny, Hiyama. Not funny at all." I retort at her before picking my laptop and placing it on my lap. I decided I'll just write my reports like this.

"Then? Why the long face?" She asks as she continues to scroll her phone.

"It's…nothing. I think I'm just tired and worn out today." I reply her and quickly write my last report.

The breaking in was taking a toll on my health. I spent every minute of the past week locking all the doors in the house, checking every cabinet and made an extra sharp eye in the hospital and on my way back and there. Still, no clues. I was probably think too much. Anyways, I'm a doctor, not a investigator. What would I know about investigating?

I get ready for bed and Hiyama announces she is sleeping. I bid her goodnight and clear the table of the clutter that was left behind. Once I was done, I switch my phone alarm on and check my notifications. Aizawa left me a few texts and called me twice.

 _From: Aizawa_

 _To: Shiraishi_

 _Is everything alright? Hope the incident isn't affecting you as much._

 _Shiraishi, are you okay?_

 _Please reply soon._

 _You must be busy. It's okay, let me know when you're going to sleep._

I smile at his text and a light blush creeps up my cheeks. Aizawa was way too concerned about me. This was cute of him.

What?

I was right, my feelings were definitely growing. Besides my concern on the breaking in, I was thinking about Aizawa everyday. I find myself looking at his desk and him on many occasions. On the train, we stand extremely close since the train is always so packed. I find myself looking down on most occasion, too shy to look at his.

Even when I stayed at his house…the first night with me on his bed was too awkward. I could smell the body wash he uses, his own natural scent and a faint smell of cologne. The warmth spread around my whole body that night. Enveloping me in warmth, it almost felt like he was there too.

I shake the thoughts out of my head. Proceeding to my room, I sit by my desk and I call him. He answers after awhile.

"Shiraishi."

"Sorry, I was busy. I'm fine."

"Ah..okay. Are you sleeping soon? You should. You are on flight duty tomorrow."

"Yes, I will be sleeping soon. You should too."

"Mm. Then…" he paused, and there was a silence.

"Good night, Aizawa." I finally said.

"Good night, Shiraishi." He replied and I hung up.

I plugged my phone into the charger and wrote down some things into my planner. I may not be the same girl who stuffed her scrub pockets with books, but I still am the same doctor who wants everything in a orderly manner. Quickly, I set my alarm and got to bed. I made a mental note to make breakfast for myself and Hiyama tomorrow.

The next morning, I got up and got ready for work. I remembered about breakfast and made some toast for the both of us while preparing some coffee. Just as I brought the food out for Hiyama, I saw a mail on the floor. That's strange…why was mail on the floor? Hiyama was up and she greeted me good morning. However, I was too distracted in my thoughts to reply. I hear her stop in her tracks and I pick up the mail. Something was off, I knew it.

The crisp white mail had red paint splattered on it, almost in a threatening manner. I open it up to find pictures too familiar. That bed, that house, even the interior design. My heart stopped in its tracks and my hand started to tremble. I flip through the pictures and I shudder. My thoughts race through and I feel my knees want to buckle. My mind go blank as I drop the mails in shock to the ground. No…it can't be. Hiyama calls my name, but I feel like I'm drowning. All I hear are the muffled words and my thoughts.

Someone was stalking me. All the way to Aizawa's house.

* * *

Hiyama POV

"Ah, Shiraishi. Good morning." I mumble to her as I rub my weary eyes. I shouldn't have talked to Ogata last night for hours… In reply, I hear silence. That's strange… Shiraishi always tends to reply immediately. I comb my hair back with my fingers and I focus my eyes on Shiraishi. She opens a mail slowly and cautiously and I see a outline of pictures. I hear her slightly gasp and see that she hasn't moved. The pictures fall to the ground and her arm starts to shake

"Shiraishi. Shiraishi, what's wrong?" I call out to her. She doesn't respond. I quickly walk to her and pick the photos up. My brain processes the information faster than ever as I flip through. I feel the slight fear as I look at the pictures more. Anger replaces, and I bite my lip in frustration.

Someone mailed her pictures from when she was at Aizawa's home. A picture of her sleeping. The interior of his house, with her and him sitting side by side. Both of them at the train station nearby. It was horrifying. I threw the pictures on the table and clutch her hands. Her face was streaked with tears, even though no sound escaped her mouth. I gently rub her back and bring her to her room.

"Shiraishi, it will be fine. I'm here, okay?" I comfort her in a soothing tone and I seat her down on the bed. She doesn't move an inch and I quickly put on a sweater. I pack a set of clothes for each of us and bring her outside with me. I check the schedules on my phone. Shiraishi's on flight duty. That's bad, she won't function. I call Aizawa as I flag a taxi for both of us. I guide Shiraishi into the taxi, followed by myself. .

"Aizawa, where are you?" I ask once he picks up, cutting his greetings short. The sound of his name seemed to perked Shiraishi up a little, gaining her attention and sitting up straighter.

"At the hospital. Why?" He replies back.

"Stay there. Meet downstairs at the entrance in 10 minutes. You'll see it for yourself." I sigh and quickly hang up. I phone Fujikawa and Saejima, letting them know something has cropped up, and to change the flight duty to either me or Fujikawa. I need not explain, as they catch on who's on flight duty and who I opted for replacing.

"Is she okay?" Saejima asks quietly. I turn over to a more responsive Shiraishi. She wiped her face clean and took deep breaths in.

"It seems so." I reply. This was a first for me to see Shiraishi pick herself back up so fast. Normally, it would take hours. This took less than an hour and she's already starting to function again. I would say she is faking it, doing it because all of us are here. But I saw her eyes. Filled with burning determination, she was confident and bold again.

We arrive at the entrance shortly and I guide her out of the taxi. I pay for it quickly and catch sight of Aizawa. This was a first for me, too. I've never seen Aizawa so concerned. His eyes held the emotions he didn't dare say. Catching sight of Shiraishi behind me, he acknowledged my presence before attending to her.

* * *

Aizawa POV

I catch sight of Shiraishi behind Hiyama and I walk up to her. Her eyes were strong and bold, but her emotions showed otherwise. I could see the slight crack of fragility in her eyes but it slowly mended back together, showing me she was strong. I heard some footsteps from behind, but I didn't want to turn. All that mattered was if she was alright.

Instantly, she threw her body on mine as I absorbed the impact. Her arms tightened around my torso and she rested her head on my shoulder. I slipped my arm round her shoulder and cradled her head. Numerous gasps were heard from behind, but I could care less. She was my priority. I had to be here for her.

"What happened?" I whispered to her softly. Her hands grabbed me tighter before she replied me.

"We're not safe here. Someone is watching us at this very moment." She vaguely whispers to me. I grab her shoulders and we pull apart. Guiding her, I bring her to the resting room, where Fujikawa, Saejima and Hiyama escort us there before leaving us in silence. She clutches onto me tightly as I attempt to seat her on the bed. Pulling me with her, I realized she wants me to sit down with her too. I sit on the bed and she sits on my legs, facing me.

Our faces, inches from one another, body just centimeters away from one another. Even then, I didn't care. She was all that I could think of, all that mattered. We sat in silence for a while, looking into each other's eyes. I leaned my forehead on hers, and I continue our previous conversation.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone sent me photos. Of me at your house. Someone has definitely been stalking us. I…I need to tell Tachibana-sensei." She whispers. "I'm scared. Something is going to happen to you, isn't it? Now that something has happened to me, you're going to be in trouble. I can't, I can't risk anything happening to-" I cut her off.

"Everything will be fine. Nothing will happen. I'll go with you to the office to see Tachibana-sensei. It will be fine." I reply her softly. She attempts to say more, but I placed a finger on her lips.

"I'll be here, remember? Nothing will happen." She nods, slowly, still affected from what happened. By now, I could trust that she has regained her ability to function. A knock on the door distracts us. She quickly gets off me and sits next to me. 4 heads pop in. Our 3 close friends, and our superior.

"Shiraishi, you'll be off duty today." Hiyama says to her. Shiraishi's face develops anger and she starts reasoning with Hiyama.

"I can function. I will be okay." She firmly says to Hiyama. I could tell they were seeking my approval, asking me silently if it was true. I nod. They give in to her and I knew they could see it. The spark that lit the fire in Lifesaving was there in her eyes.

"Before that, you need to see me. Get changed, Shiraishi. I'll conduct the meetings in 5 minutes." We nod in unison and we get ready for the work day. The morning meeting lasted less than 30 minutes, and all 6 of us doctors went to his own private office. We gave him the necessary details of which he calmly understood our reasons for not telling him, and the evidence that we so far had.

"I see…" Tachibana-sensei said after a while. "Shiraishi, I think we should report this to the police. This will very well affect your career and wellbeing. I can understand why he held it off, thinking it was nothing much. But now, with what we just experienced, we can no longer wait. I'll call for some private detectives to come in today."

Just at that moment, the radio rings, declaring to start the Heli's engine. She quickly makes a order to grab a bag and she launches outside. I'm too slow to catch her wrist as I swiftly turn, but she was already out on the runway. My hand clenches into a fist, but I turn my attention back to my superior.

"Sensei, will Shiraishi be suspended?" I ask. He sighs and I know the answer. To prevent anything else happening, the answer was obvious.

"It's for the best. I'll stop her duties tomorrow. For now, come with me and we will settle this issue before the Heli comes back." I nod and we settled some documents for the detectives. We called them and scheduled them to come at night, at the end of Shiraishi's shift. By then, Hiyama called for me to report to the ER with Tachibana-sensei.

Once we entered, that's when things went into a frenzy.

The communication specialist dashed out of the room and faced all of us. We turned our eyes to her and her face went pale. I felt my heart drop to the floor. The sentences that came out of her mouth numbed me. Silence filled the air as I heard someone drop a surgical instrument on the floor. But I couldn't hear. It felt so muffled, as if I was falling deeper into cold water, unable to surface.

Suddenly, I felt my brain go numb, as if someone injected lidocaine on my scalp and into my brain. My vision felt blur as my thoughts raced through every moment I had with her. _Her, Shiraishi, the woman I love._

"The Heli crashed. According to the firefighters, they might be seriously injured."

* * *

 _a/n: hello everyone! i sincerely and deeply apologise for my super late chapter! following writers block, i couldn't find time in my schedule to write. school has started for me, and this is a very important school year for me. however, i will do my best to upload as frequently as i can. maybe i'll upload once a month or so? depending on how busy i am that month. for that one shot book i mentioned earlier in the past chapters, i will upload it! however, don't expect it to be anytime soon. now, my main priorities are on studying. however, ill find a way to write omy next chapter and upload it asap!_

 _finally! tachibana is aware! we also get some really intimate scenes in here. i went all out in this chapter, since the relationship seems to be growing between both of them. anyone wants to guess what happened? just a heads up, the next chapter will be full of ups and downs. emotions will be everywhere, but don't expect to cry, i don't write that well that people cry HAHAHA_

 _reviews are always welcome! till next time! hopefully in 2 weeks! hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!_


	8. Chapter 8: His Sorrows, Her Realisations

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

* * *

Aizawa POV

"The Heli crashed. According to the firefighters, they might be seriously injured." The communication specialist announced to us. A surgical instrument dropped on the floor, the sound of metal ringing in the room. Immediately, our superior quickly reacted before any of us could.

"What? What do you mean?" Tachibana-sensei demands, not accepting this. I could see the shock in the team's eyes. Shiraishi, Yukimura, and Haitani…

"The Heli crashed on their way back to Shohoku. They were around 2 minutes away before I lost complete contact of them." She replied to him frantically. Yokomine was trying her best to contact Yukimura, and Saejima tried to contact Haitani. Hiyama called Shiraishi, but all with no replies. The communication specialist shouted through the open door that she found their location, luckily. Everyone lets out a breath of relief. At least we know where they are. My phone rings to a familiar tone, and I whip it out, knowing who it is. Shiraishi.

"Shiraishi, are you okay?" I ask once I pick the phone call up. I put it on speaker and everyone's attention is on me and the phone.

"No… the staff are injured badly…Our controls on the Heli weren't working and we had to crash near a ravine area…." I could hear a slight difference and I was puzzled. Why was she having such a hard time breathing? She was getting more and more breathless with time.

"Furthermore… our patient…he ingested some sort of poison. Staff are experiencing signs of vertigo. We…are slowly losing consciousness…" She heaved out loud in the phone. The staff didn't need instructions. Everyone was running round station to station, packing materials and throwing them across the stretchers whenever they needed to pass items. Tachibana-sensei gave a nod and deployed most of the team out. He deployed Hiyama and Fujikawa, along with Saejima and Natori. The rest was to stay in the hospital and await their return. I put her off speaker.

"Shiraishi, hang on. We're coming to get you." I quickly added.

"Thank you…Aizawa-sensei." I heard faintly before I heard a drop of a phone. Has she already lost consciousness? I repeated her name, hoping she responds, but no avail. I end the call and breathe in deep breaths. Tachibana-sensei senses my discomfort and he gives me a solid pat on the back.

"She will be fine." I heard him say, as I looked down regretfully. I missed the chance to catch her again. If only I was against her flying on the Heli. If only I caught her hand and stopped her. If only I went instead. I retreated to one of the chairs in the ER and collected myself. I couldn't break down in such a time like this. The team in the ER started preparing for the stretchers and tools needed.

It didn't take long for Hiyama and the others to find them. They were going off instructions by CS and arrived shortly. I instructed them to call once the victims were retrieved and that they are to report their conditions.

"This is Hiyama from Shohoku Lifesaving. We have received the patients." Hiyama's voice echoed in the silent ER. Her voice was trembling slightly, but I could tell she was keeping her calm. I spoke into the intercom. "Details, please." I said with my most calm voice I could muster at that point.

"Haitani and Yukimura have suffered slight symptoms of shock. They are out cold, with a few non-critical cuts. We are checking to make sure their vitals are stable. However, it seems like we have to determine the poison quick." She states. Yokomine grabs the board before I do as Hiyama starts listing down the symptoms of the poison. Yokomine looks up with determined and strong eyes.

"I will confirm the poison." She announces and runs to search for possible poisons transmittable by air.

"Hiyama, what about the other 2?" Tachibana says through the microphone. My heart thumped wildly. I felt my hands go clammy and a sudden breathlessness as I waited for her reply.

"The Heli crashed on her side. The patient, unfortunately, expired once we arrived. His injuries were too severe." My heart dropped. A slight pause later, Hiyama spoke again.

"Shiraishi is in critical condition. We've intubated and she seems to be hanging on now." My heart was suddenly relieved. She's okay. She's breathing. "3 minutes to arrival."

I go ahead and get up to run to retrieve the patients, but Tachibana-sensei stops me.

"Stay here. You are to not work on Shiraishi's injuries." He firmly declared to me.

"What? No, I will. I am a doctor. A neurosurgeon! What do–" I began to argue before he raised his hand to stop me.

"You have a job. It is to stay by her side. I will not allow you to work." He says before running off to retrieve them. I slumped into the chair, but was quickly alerted back by the commotion coming in. It was clear they had it all under control. The team solely concentrated on the patient in front of me. My face went numb and my brain seemed to silence the shouts and commotion as I stared at the patient in front. I could understand why Hiyama was giving such brief details.

Megumi Shiraishi.

Not only was her head bleeding, the front of her blue flight uniform was bloody. Her leg had a huge gash, revealing the vessels underneath. Just by observation, I know what she suffered. Her leg was caught under the wreckage of the crash, and as such crushing it slightly. Since it crashed on her side, it was possible she broke a rib. Finally, her head was hit by falling debris.

At that moment, I caught Fujikawa's eyes and his eyes held so many emotions. Sad, to see his comrade injured. Relieved, that she was alive. Determined, to treat her. The eyes of a doctor. My body moved on its own as I moved towards Shiraishi's limp body. Grasping her small, delicate hand, it felt warm in mine. I grasp it with both my hands, and look at her face. Still, even through that blood and mess, she was still Shiraishi. _My_ Shiraishi.

The ER door's opened and Shinkai entered the room. He caught eyes with mine and he bit his lip in all seriousness. He knew what happened. I didn't take anyone to explain why he was here.

Shinkai stood by me and checked her pupils. I didn't bother trying to look. It was too painful to.

"This is bad. She needs an emergency surgery now. Get the OR ready!" Shinkai shouts to a nurse. The nurse responds before running there. They wheel the stretcher with Shiraishi out, her hand losing my grasp as I'm left there standing, dazed by the commotion. Shinkai gets ready to leave, but I catch him.

"Save her, Shinkai. Promise me." I demanded a reply from him. His eyes looked into mine and he pat me on the back. He took a breath and nodded.

"I won't let her die." He leaves me and races to the OR. Fujikawa looks over to me and gives me a sorry look.

I staggered my way to a chair. I suddenly felt breathless. I didn't inhale any of the toxic, so why was I breathless? My chest tightened and I clutched my chest. My heart rate was elevated and I could feel my hands shake uncontrollably. My vision was so blurred, I felt like I could pass out. I felt someone's hand on my back, asking if I was fine.

I could barely hear them. All I heard was the silence and my thoughts with Shiraishi. The moments we ate together. The times I held her in mine. The small moments when we worked in sync. Even the small fights we had, from work to the type of food we felt like eating. My thoughts were jumbled, making my head hurt uncontrollably.

"Aizawa! Respond!" I heard a muffled shout towards me. I couldn't, I was to in my thoughts too. My mind screamed to move, but I my body didn't respond. My hands still shaking, held my head.

"Get me a sedative, quick!" I could hear the shouts. I tried to respond to them, but my lips won't move. They refused to. A small prick at the back of my arm. My visioned glazed over and blurred more. My brain slowed and my eyes were slowly closing.

"Sorry, Aizawa." I heard Fujikawa mumble to me before I lost all consciousness.

I woke up hours later, in outpatient clinic. My head was pounding and I grasp onto the side of the bed as I got up slowly. I look down, and realized I had a IV attached. I grabbed onto the stand that held the bag and slowly got up. I made my way to the office, of which I saw Hiyama and Fujikawa. The others must be attending to something else.

Fujikawa helped me to the couch and I sat down. The sedative was still taking effect, and I was definitely still under influence. What did he inject me with? God, I'll make him tell me later.

"Don't you need to work?" I croaked out in a hoarse voice. No one replied.

"How's the others?" I murmured. They sighed and passed me a hot drink.

"We need to talk about some things first." Hiyama said.

"First, you passed out after seeing her. By examination by Fujikawa, it could have been a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure. I think…you should know what it means." Hiyama said. I nodded. This seizure occurred when you are met with a traumatic incident. Clearly, I did.

"Fujikawa had to inject you with some strong propofol to stop your seizures. Even after the injection, you kept having slight seizures. You are probably still under the sedative, so it's normal that you start to feel dizzy or tired easily." That explained it. Fujikawa gives a sorry look towards me before I nod in acknowledgment. I take a sip of the drink.

"Is she okay?" I pressed. Hiyama's eyes trailed to Fujikawa. I didn't notice this, but Saejima was here too.

"She's in ICU. The surgery went well. But…" Saejima broke the silence. I stood up, but was too weak, and fell back down. Saejima stepped forward and Fujikawa grabbed ahold of my IV line. I held my hand up, to tell them I'm fine.

"Shiraishi-sensei is stuck in a comatose state. We don't know if she will wake up. The strychnine poisoning was affecting her quite badly. She had the highest toxicity among them. It's possible that she might have brain damage." She continued, reaching up to wipe her eyes quickly. My heart grows heavy. A silence fills the room.

"I want to see her." I muttered after a while. Clearly, they weren't allowing it.

"Aizawa, you can barely walk to the office without needing to sit down. You need to rest." Hiyama snaps at me.

"Get me a wheelchair then." I snarled back at her.

"Aizawa, Hiyama's right. You are no where near seeing her in this state." Fujikawa defends.

"Are you just going to not let me see her then?" I snap back. They fall silent and Hiyama sighs.

"Seriously…" Hiyama grunts at me.

"Please. I need to see her." I softly said to them. Hiyama sighed and nodded to Saejima. Saejima got her cue and got a wheelchair. I got on the chair and they wheeled me to ICU. It wasn't everyday that you saw a doctor in scrubs in a wheelchair in ICU. Finally, she came into view. Her head bandaged, eyes closed with a tube in her. It wasn't pretty, but she was still beautiful. They wheeled me by her and they sat me on a chair.

Quietly, they left one by one, leaving me alone with her. I grasped her warm hand into mine and held it tightly. Slowly, the moments I shared with her played in my mind. With each memory, my tears fell.

When I carried her to the ER because she fainted. When I held her as she cried. The time she held me instead, and forced me to eat. The time she laughed when I told her stories about my childhood. Before I knew it, my face was wet from the tears. I couldn't help it. I could have lost her. She was here all this while, but my selfish self didn't know.

"Shiraishi…" I cried softly to her, even thought I knew she wouldn't hear. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I didn't treat you well enough. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry for everything…" my tears didn't want to stop. I could care less about the nurses and doctors staring at me. It was just me and her, in this space.

"Don't leave me alone, okay? I'll make you lunch. I'll be nicer to the fellows. I'll go home when you tell me to. Just, wake up please. Wake up and be alright…" I continued to cry. I poured the tears out like no tomorrow. The tears eventually stopped, partly due to the sedative. I passed out from crying so much, I slept by her side, my hands interlocked with hers.

When I woke up, I found myself in the resting room. I had no IV, but was in a pair of scrubs. Wearily, I checked the time. It was the middle of the night. I stumbled to the showers and changed to another pair of scrubs. My eyes were puffy and I could barely keep them open. They were all red. I dragged my feet to the office where I grabbed a sandwich and dragged myself to ICU. There, I saw an elderly couple outside ICU. I knew who they were.

"Shiraishi-san." I called out. Both of them turned and their faces filled with relief. Her parents, of course. Their wrinkled eyes and tired face…they must have caught the earliest train. They walked towards me and each gave me a hug.

"Aizawa-sensei…" her mother smiled at me. I could see where Shiraishi got her smile from. Along with her kindness and beauty, she was a definite clone of her mother. I bowed to them in respect.

"Let me show you to her. Please, this way." I managed to croak out. I guided them to her and grabbed an extra chair. They sat by her side and held her hands. They were on the brink of tears. I mean, who wouldn't? Parents seeing their child in ICU… it was a given.

I shakily pick up her file and attempt to tell them about her injuries, but no sound came out of my mouth. It was too painful for me. What was going on? Usually, I could do this with no difficulty. Now, just seeing this and reading the file was making my heart hurt so much.

Her mother noticed and continued to look at me. I tried again. This time, a tear silently slipped down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. No, I can't do this. It's too hard. After awhile, they wanted to sit outside ICU instead. I followed and sat down with them.

"I'm sorry… I couldn't protect your daughter. I'm sorry I let her fall in a state like this…" I started apologizing to them. They started to decline, but I felt the tears come back. I couldn't protect Shiraishi, I should deserve the blame. Her mother pulled me into a hug and her father did too. Once again, its not everyday you see a doctor hugging an elderly couple. I suggested we move to somewhere private, so I brought them to a separate room for families to rest while waiting for their loved ones. I muttered apology after apology, but her mother grasped my hand tightly.

"Aizawa-sensei, you brought my daughter the greatest gift I could ask for. You gave her love." Her mother told me. I froze and looked at her.

"Growing up, Megumi was never the kind to explore love. I was a working mother, her father a doctor. She, however, found her love and passion in studying. Day and night, Megumi studied, Years flew by and she was a qualified doctor in Tokyo as an intern for the Doctor Heli system." Her mother started. I remember that Shiraishi. That girl who just wanted to do her best.

"She called home, one day, a few years ago. She updated us about her life in Tokyo. She told us about a friend who was always here for her, in the lows and highs. She shared how he was there when she broke down and how he was there for her when she was successful. Till now, we didn't know who it was. When we saw you on video next to her, we could see it." Her mother continued. I felt my tears slow.

"Your eyes showed everything, Aizawa-sensei. The care you had for her. The disapproval when she admitted she was surviving on instant meals. The joy when you saw her smile. You were there for her in her lows and highs. You are her greatest priority like she's yours." Her father said.

"Megumi needs you. She loves you as much as you love her."

I froze on those words. Shiraishi…loves me? I look up at her parents, of which they merely smiled and embraced me. I sat there and let them hold me, like how I let Shiraishi hold me that night. They sadly had to leave as they had to attend to some matters back in Aomori. They told me they trusted that I took care of her, and that to tell her that they came to visit. They left a letter for me, of which they told me to pass her once she woke up.

I sat in ICU for a while after they left. I take a deep breath and look at her file. I read the main points and put the file back quickly, not wanting to look at the other details. I intertwine her hand with mine and bring it up to my face. I gently kiss her hand and stay like this for a while.

"Your parents came to visit. They told me some things…You should tell me when you wake up. Everyone is worrying about you… you know that? Whatever they said about you, I want to hear it from you. I want to hear it from your mouth. Because… I feel that way towards you. You mean the world to me, so if you don't wake up… I can't see light." I say to her.

 _"Shiraishi, I hope you know how much I love you. So please…be okay."_

I rest my head on her bed and fall asleep, thinking about her as I slip in and out of my sleep.

* * *

Fujikawa POV

It's the third day since the Heli incident. Things aren't much better. While the pilots and staff are still recovering, the Heli is out of operation for a week. Most of them are recovering fine, just a slight scratch here, or have their arm stitched up. The rest of us are busier than normal. I pause from typing my reports and look up at the ceiling.

The fellows are supporting each other much more after this incident. They train together, and at times I find them eating with Yukimura. Yokomine helps out Haitani nowadays, so his recovery process is faster. Other nurses, including Haruka, help out Yukimura. Both of them decline, but it wasn't a choice. The sorry look in their eyes… they managed to escape the incident alive. They obviously needed help. Especially with Shiraishi in ICU…

We worked extra hard. We split Shiraishi's job among ourselves: Hiyama, Yokomine, Natori, Tachibana-sensei, Haitani and I. Wondering where's Aizawa? He hasn't been taking things easy these days, so I left him out. He barely functions. I ask him to rest and he insist he can work. He somehow has the same stubbornness as Shiraishi. The fellows are working doubly hard, so I let them take charge of a few patients with either one of the seniors overlooking everything.

I let out a sigh as I face the desk next to mine. Shiraishi's desk, left untouched since that day. Her items still scattered on the table, the same can of tea Haruka left there in that exact spot. I could remember the times she stood up for me when Aizawa was being rude. The times I dramatically got offended, because she wasn't listening to me. She even convinced Haruka to date me years ago. Ah, nostalgia was definitely setting in.

 _Shiraishi, keep breathing! No one will be my best buddy besides you!_

* * *

Saejima POV

It's the fifth day since Shiraishi has been admitted into ICU. I turn my back towards the door of ICU at the end of my shift. Wearily, I stretched my arms and walked to the nurse station. Yukimura smiled and bid me hello. We make a quiet conversation about her injuries, of which she's recovering well. I remind her to go home early and start to pack the bags for the ambulances.

Things are picking pace in the hospital. All of us are working extra hard, for Shiraishi and Aizawa. I've never seen this side of Aizawa before. Well, I think none of us have. All he does these days are sitting by her side, one hand intertwined with hers, the other on his laptop. Sometimes, he will just daze there and not move for hours. But his eyes show the lack of sleep and the neglected health. I rarely see him eat, neither do I see him sleep.

Packing the various medical instruments, I absentmindedly hold my hand out, expecting someone to pass me the next pack of gauze. I look over to my stretched hand and realized no one is here. My heart grows heavy. That's right, Shiraishi's in ICU. In times like these, I remember her helping me pack the bags.

It wasn't her job, but she didn't care. She would do it with me so I wouldn't feel lonely packing the bags all alone. I always complained and protested, but she insisted that she did, and always brought the point that she was off her shift or found some extra time. Even if she was dead tired, she still asked to help at least pack one bag. She cared about others even more than she cared about herself. Things are different without her. I think the nurses can tell as well.

 _Shiraishi, you better wake up! I'll let you pack as many bags as you want the next time!_

* * *

Hiyama POV

A week has past since Shiraishi fell in comatose state. Lifesaving is not the same. There's no adrenaline in handling cases nowadays, no joy in walking into the office, no joy in coming home. I sit with Ogata during lunch and he asks me what's wrong. What could I say? My roommate, best friend, staff leader is currently in comatose state? I brush his question off and we resume to talking about his recovery and other things. Surely, it sticks to the back of my head.

I think we all feel it. The missing puzzle piece in Lifesaving. Well, we have two at the moment. Aizawa is the worse. He rarely leaves her side, only doing so when he is in desperate need of the toilet or when visiting hours are over. Even Tachibana-sensei excused him from work. It was definitely taking a toll on his health. He rarely eats, but we drop a sandwich or two to him. I've never seen him like this. His eyes weary and tired, I could see him rapidly losing weight. His eyes no longer burned like Shiraishi's eyes did. His was now hollow and empty.

I wonder what Shiraishi will say if she saw him like this. Will she scold him, for not taking his meals on time and not taking care of herself? I sigh. He really does love her. And she really loves him. It was obvious all through Lifesaving. The way they treated each other, the way they talked and acted. It was all so clear that they were made for one another. I could understand why he was depressed.

Coming home is never home anymore. I don't hear the nags and complains. I don't see the OCD neatness. I don't see a smile greeting me good morning and a smile bidding me goodnight. I hear silence, I see mess and I see a frown. I lie on the couch at night and clean the house, hopefully making it as neat as Shiraishi likes it. I organize the mess in her house and read up on cookbooks in my free time, hopeful that I can cook for her when she returns.

 _Shiraishi, hang in there! I promise, I'll be the best roommate you can ever ask for!_

* * *

Shiraishi POV

I only remembered the conversation with Aizawa. Afterwards, I could remember nothing but a plain white canvas. What happened? How did I end up calling Aizawa?

That's right… The Heli crashed. Hayakawa-san announced that the brakes and handles were malfunctioning. Then he told us to brace for impact. I remember being thrown about in the seat and a stabbing pain in my chest and aches everywhere. I managed to squint my eyes and open them. The Heli slammed into the side of a rock on my side and thus causing the wind blades to fall in. One stabbed the patient's leg. The other missed my leg by mere centimeters, but stacked heavily on top of my leg.

The patient also started having seizures. Was he going into shock? No…I examine further. He has symptoms of poisoning…that's it. We were all going to die, if no one knows we were contaminated. My staff were all out cold, and I dug into my phone. I called the first number, realizing its Aizawa. Briefly, I explain the situation. With every second passing, I felt more breathless and more off balance. Before I could end the call, I remember knocking out, along with a prick at my leg.

I feel like I'm in glue. Swimming in thick glue, unable to find my entrance. Was I dying? I look around and see a small figure standing there. Swimming towards it, I push through the forces coming against me. I could see more the closer I got. Who are they? It didn't matter. They were my only hope to tell me what I was doing here.

Suddenly, the whole scene switched. I turn and see the Helipad. There, like a projector, they started to screen the times Aizawa and I spent. From the Helipad to his house, they screened it all. The first time we met. The evening he took the train with me as I cried. The casual meals we ate together. That day I held him as he cried. Everything, from the start till the morning of the crash.

I felt as if my feelings were growing stronger. He was always there for me when I needed him. He was my corner stone, my support in Tokyo and my best friend. But something inside made it seem that there was more. Why did I feel so guilty after rejecting Shinkai? Why was I always nervous with him? Was I right all this while? I looked down and smiled and closed my eyes. Tears started falling, in sheer happiness.

He means the universe and everything in between. I've been right all this while.

I love him, like how he loves me.

I felt the smell of antiseptic fill my nose and light from above blind my eyes. I flutter them and I felt someone squeeze my hand. Lightly, I grasp it back and I saw a familiar pair of eyes inches from my face. His hand round my cheek, one hand with mine. Deep brown eyes, speckled with tears, cheeks slightly hollowed. But nonetheless, its _him._

 _My Aizawa._

"Shiraishi?"

* * *

 _a/n: hello guys! i'm so glad i found extra time to write this chapter! finally, i answer your questions and_ _hopefully you guys do not feel too sad from the last chapter. i appreciate your reviews so so much and the support that i received when i said i was going to publish a one shot book. i decided that the one shot book will be full of deleted scenes i originally planned for this, and scenes from other's perspective._

 _this pic has came so far, and i promise that the ending won't leave you disappointed. I'm thinking of writing a sequel once this one ends, or start an AU fic. what are your opinions? let me know! reviews are always welcome, so leave some! thank you all for reading and reviewing as always! love you all!_


	9. Chapter 9: The Missing Piece

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated. More notes at the bottom about this chapter.

* * *

Shiraishi's POV

My eyes fluttered against the bright light as they adjusted to the brightness of the room. My mouth was dry, filled with a salty lingering taste. The smell of antiseptic and alcohol filled my nose. Where was I? The hospital? I felt a warm hand on my cheek as I opened my eyes slowly.

"Shiraishi?"

I could faintly hear that familiar voice, but my body refused to answer. That warm hand was taken off my cheek and I could hear some squeaking steps and loud footsteps. What was going on?

My eyes fully opened and I was faced with the ceiling of the hospital. More specifically, ICU. Having worked here for 9 years, I could tell every wall and ceiling sort just from the color and appearance. My eyes trailed down and I saw my 4 companions standing there in shock. Before I could register anything, they launched at me and helped me to remove a intubation tube stuck down my throat. In situations like this, there was no role of nurses and doctors. It was just friends.

I coughed as they removed the tube and Saejima helped me sit upright. The other 3 doctors stood in shock and my brain finally registered. Looking down at my position, my leg was in a cast and I felt a weight on my head. Head injury? Operation? Brain damage? Whatever it was, I was sure of one thing: I was injured and my ability to wake up was shocking my friends.

"How are you feeling?" Hiyama said as she sat at the foot of my bed. I shrugged slightly. Saejima helped me to fit in some cannulas while Fujikawa explained that it will be better for me. I nodded and obediently complied.

"Not much. Everything is hazy and weird. What happened?" I said, but all that came out was a voice louder than a whisper. Aizawa walked towards the bed and he took a deep breath in.

I could see that he was thinner. His dark circles were definitely more prominent and his cheeks were hallowed slightly. His eyes showed signs of fatigue and he looked bad. He wasn't taking care of himself, was he?

"Before this, we need to see if you are stable." He says and holds my hand before lifting them up in front of me. As a doctor, I knew what this was. To see if the patient has any paralysis in the limbs. I held them in that position for awhile before he told me to put them down. Everyone, including myself, heaved out a sigh.

"Looks like you haven't suffered any form of brain damage yet. I'll get Shinkai to screen you as soon as possible." Aizawa replies softly before scribbling down a note for Shinkai. What exactly happened? Soon they answered my burning question.

"Do you remember anything?" Fujikawa asked. Suddenly, everything hit me in the face. That's right, the Heli, the contamination. Everything hit me.

"I was caught in a Heli crash…then I called to inform of the contamination on board. I don't remember anything else. But, Yukimura-san and Haitani-kun are alright, aren't they? And the patient? Did he make it?" I managed to say louder.

"Yukimura and Natori are fine. They were knocked out cold and we just needed to fix them up and give them a few tests. The patient expired, unfortunately. His injuries were too severe. You should have known." Hiyama sighed. I nodded my head silently. She's right, the patient's injuries were too severe.

"You… you suffered the most injuries. You had a subdural hematoma, and you almost lost the use of your legs. The debris that cut your leg and fell on top pierced through a major vein. Furthermore, you had the highest toxicity of poisoning in your body. You were stuck in a coma for 9 days." Hiyama continued explaining. In pure shock, I couldn't believe it. 9 days? It felt like 9 hours, maybe in my head.

"9…days?" I stuttered. Hiyama nods and I sulk.

"You're awake now, that's all that matters." Aizawa suddenly said. I look up at him and slightly nod. His bloodshot eyes looked glassy, but I knew he was holding it back. They told me to sleep and insisted I move to normal wards later tomorrow, when Shinkai does the rest of the checks. I agree and lie back down. They all leave, except for Aizawa. An idiot could understand why.

"Shiraishi." He whispered as he stood closer to me. His tears let through silently and he wipes them away quickly. He sits by the edge of my bed and faces me. He brings me into a tight hug and absorb the impact of his shaking body. His body shook under me and I held his head as he let his tears spill out.

"It's alright, Aizawa. I'm okay." I assured him and he holds me tighter.

"I thought you won't wake up. You laid there for 9 days. I watched every moment, you know? I feel so relieved now." He softly cries to me. It must have been hard on him.

"I'm sorry I worried you. I won't do that again, okay?" I whisper to him. We hold each other for awhile like this before we parted. He sat on the side of my bed and dries his face. He takes a letter out of his pocket and holds it.

"This is from your parents. But before that…" he trailed off. "These 9 days proved something."

"Shiraishi, I love you." He says to me. Suddenly, I can only register him. No ICU, no beds, no patients. Just him and I. He places his hand on mine and continues.

"Your parents told me… you felt the same way. So…do you?" He asked. For a brief moment, I look down, not knowing what to say or feel. Happy? Overjoyed? Emotional? My tears gave the answer. I wipe a few tears away and sit in silence, not knowing what to reply.

"When I was in my coma, do you know who I saw the most?" I asked and I turned my head forwards him. He shook his head.

"You. When we first met, all the way up to that morning." I continued and his face suddenly lit up, knowing what I meant.

"Yes, I mean it. I love you too."

His face breaks out into a smile and his tears continue to flow down. Pulling me to his chest, I let him hold me, like how I always did. With every passing moment, it became so clear that we were meant to be. I smiled and buried my face in his chest, even though the bandages and cannulas were in the way. He plants a light kiss on my head.

"Thank you, for everything." He whispers to me in between breaths. I don't reply, but squeeze him instead. We sit like this for a while before he finally calms down. Passing me a envelope, he tells me to take a rest, but I insist that he does the same.

"Aizawa, I'm sure you haven't been taking care of yourself, have you? You look so thin and in need of sleep. Go, sleep and take the day off to recover. I promise you I'll sleep." I lightly scold him. He gives in and leave to sleep and I do too. But before that, I open up the envelope. In my father's meticulous handwriting, I start to read what my parents left behind.

 _Megumi,_

 _By the time you read this, we would have been back to Aomori. Hope you are doing well, hope Aizawa-sensei is taking care of you. I'm coping well with my cancer, and your mother is tending to me lovingly, scolding me once in a while. Although, I think my time is almost up._

 _My greatest joy will be seeing you with the one you love. We saw how you act with Aizawa, how happy both of you are. It's clear that both of you met in Fellowship by fate. He will definitely make you happy with every passing day. So tell him how you feel. Your mother is urging you to do so. So am I._

 _From now till the day I pass, continue to take care of yourself. Continue to phone us and send us pictures of you and Aizawa. I welcome him myself to our family._

 _Be happy, Megumi. It's my greatest wish._

I don't know how, but I soon fell asleep with the envelope clutched in my hand.

I woke up the next day, to a busy ICU. Doctors were going round checking on their patients. Saejima catches sight that I woke up and puts down her clipboard and walks to me.

"The doctors have requested that they shift you to normal ward after you woke up. I've been here waiting since." She informs me. I smile and thank her. She gets a few nurses to help her and they wheel me to a normal ward room. There, I'm greeted by a balloon and a basket of flowers. My cheeky friends. I laugh and the nurses do to.

Yukimura and Haitani pop their heads in and Saejima urge them to come in. I ensure they are well before they continuously apologize for acting like cowards on the Heli. We talk for a bit more before I realize that I'm taking up their time. I assure them I'm fine before they go back to work. Before Saejima leaves, I take the chance to ask her a question.

"Is…he still in the office?" She raises a eyebrow before smiling cheekily at me. I look down, embarrassed and she chuckles lightly.

"Sleeping, it seems. He was quite tired. I'll fill you in with Hiyama during our breaks." She said and goes back to her duties. As if on cue, Shinkai appears from the door of ICU with Tachibana-sensei. I bolt myself upright and Tachibana quickly urges me to lie back down.

"How are you?" Shinkai asks as he slightly bends over the table in front of the bed.

"Better than yesterday. It still feels kind of hazy up here." I point out and tap my temple lightly.

"You're still recovering from the operation, so it should go away soon. You will probably be put in crutches for a while, or maybe in Physiotherapy. I'll decide which is better for you and which takes lesser time. Looks like you have no paralysis in your limbs, but let's put you through a CT scan to be sure, alright?" Shinkai says and closes his file.

"Okay. Thank you. Tachibana-sensei, I'm-" I get cut off by him.

"Shiraishi, you shouldn't be saying sorry. You are lucky you survived the accident. We have to meet the lawyers in a few days. I'll discuss this with you in more detail later this week." He says and smiles. "Rest well."

"I will." I reply. He takes his leave and Shinkai writes in the file for a while.

"Is he alright?" He suddenly asks me. I perk my head up and it takes me a while before I know who he is talking about.

"Ah, yes. I think he's taking the day off to sleep." I mention. Shinkai nods.

"Before you went into surgery, you know what he said? He made me promise him to save you." He says and lightly lets out a soft laugh. "He really cares for you, huh?" The way he's talking, it reminds me of the stalker. I quickly seize the chance.

"Shinkai… I need to ask you a serious question." I let him know. He turns his head up and nods, letting me continue.

"Are you the one who's texting Saejima using an anonymous number?" I ask with a serious tone. His eyes go wide and I see it in his face.

"Shiraishi-" I refused to listen.

"Shinkai, why? So are you the one also behind the house and pictures? When will you have enough? You even operated on me! What more do you need or want?" I shouted at him. I'm so lucky, I'm in a room with no patients. His face changes.

"House? What do you mean?" Shinkai denies as he puts his file down.

"Don't lie!" I snarl back at him. I was beyond furious. To know a doctor…those who are saving lives who is behind this…it disgusted me.

"Shiraishi, I didn't do it!" He argued back.

"Explain yourself." I retorted back at him. "How am I suppose to trust you now?" He sighed in distress and pulled on his long hair. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through some things before sliding the phone on the table. I bend forward to grab it and snatch it away.

"Look at this. Then tell me, do you believe me now?" He sighed and put his hand on his hips.

I took a look at his phone. There, I saw many anonymous messages. From the same number… All of them were like death threats. Shinkai was getting these too?

"How…" I stuttered, no words escaping my mouth.

"It isn't me. I admit, I was jealous of Aizawa. I did say some things after you rejected me after the date. But that was the extent of it." He admits.

"Then, Aizawa said you said the exact words received in those anonymous messages. How?" I pressed. He only sighed. Passing his phone wordlessly, I took it from him again. There was pictures of him eating, going home, his private documents on the table…

"I got these photos. I thought it was just some prank, but then there was pictures of my private information as well. The death threats continued. I assumed it was some admirer in the hospital, but to get their hands on my documents…" Shinkai sighed. His work cell rang and he checked the phone. He muttered a few things and was about to answer me, but I cut him off.

"Go, we will talk about this all together later." I firmly said. He nodded and rushed off to whatever place he needed to be. Alone in the ward, I make a mental note to remind my friends about it and realized my eyes were shutting. Giving up, I laid back down on my bed and tried my best to fall asleep. I eventually did, my conscious still alive and burning with questions, yet unanswered.

* * *

Aizawa POV

I woke up after a really long time. It was the afternoon and I shot up in a frantic mess. Looking around, I realized I was no longer sleeping in ICU, but sleeping on a bed in the resting room. I sighed and checked for a change of clothes and hit the showers to wake myself up.

That's right, Shiraishi has woken up.

Once I was out, I checked my phone, of which Saejima left me a message. She told me what room Shiraishi has been shifted to. I go back to the office and grab some of my patients file that were taken care of by Hiyama. Next, I grabbed two files for Shiraishi, her laptop, her notebook and pen pouch. She should be feeling bored so I might as well give her something to do. Stopping by the vending machine, I grab a bottle of water for her and head up to her room. Quietly, I open the door to her room and realized she was sleeping.

I silently walk over and leave the files on her table. I see her eyes flicker and slowly open.

"Hm?" She mumbles to herself. Turning to see who is beside her, she almost gets a shock.

"Ah, Aizawa. Are you feeling better?" She asked me and I nod.

"You? How are your headaches?" I say and press the back of my hand on her forehead. Her face goes slowly red and I have to hide my smirk. She pushes my hand away gently.

"Don't do that! People may know." She scolds me, but she herself is smiling and laughing. I smile and sit on the bed, next to her.

"I don't care if people know. Besides, I'm sure Fujikawa has been spreading rumors about us all over the department." I rolled my eyes and retorted. She hides a laugh and grabs her file from the table. She opens it, and stops turning the pages after a while.

"I met Shinkai, just now." She said to me and closes the file. His name catches my attention. I stop organizing the table and pay attention to what Shiraishi has to say.

"He isn't the one behind all of the trouble caused. Also, he is getting threats too." She sighs and opens her file again. Shinkai wasn't? He was getting threats too?

"Oh. Really?" I asked, toying around with my lanyard. She nods and I bring my head up to face her.

"I saw it myself. Looks like this person is serious on causing harm to me." She lets out and I take her hand into mine and squeeze it lightly.

"We'll get through this, alright? I think Tachibana-sensei is getting officers and lawyers to come in for a talk this week." I say to her. She smiles to me and I give a brief smile back. Then, there was a knock on the door and I saw my other 3 colleagues waving to us. I opened the door for them and they all gather round Shiraishi. They were on their lunch break, and decided to eat with her today. They brought along her lunch and Saejima dropped a sandwich on my lap.

"Eat. You'll need it." She kindly said as she set down Shiraishi's hospital-catered food.

They fill her in, about what happened the past 9 days. I add remarks here and there, and we answer her burning questions. How were the Fellows? When is Fujikawa and Saejima's wedding? Was I coping fine without her? I replied her on numerous questions. Hiyama rambled on about how I didn't leave Shiraishi's side. Needless to say, I kept quiet and let Shiraishi scold me for not taking care.

"So, are you both together?" Fujikawa's loud mouth asked. Saejima scolds him but I merely give a straight face.

"Yes." I reply and slip my hand into Shiraishi's. Shiraishi's face burns and Hiyama has her mouth wide open, staring at us. Saejima smiles lightly and Fujikawa is the first to recover from the shock.

"Eh? Really?!" He exclaims. Shiraishi awkwardly tilts her head and stutters.

"You could say so…"She stutters. I only put my arm round her shoulder to further convince them and they start to ramble on how I should take care of Shiraishi, how Shiraishi is the only one who can stand my attitude. I merely sit there and nod while Shiraishi does most of the talking. Soon enough, they have to end their lunch break and get back to work. I stand up with them, ready to go back too, but Hiyama insist I stay. She runs outside and comes back in less than a minute with my stack of files and the laptop.

"You, Stay here and accompany her. And rest, too. Tachibana insists that you start work again tomorrow." Hiyama orders me.

"Ah! Everyone, can all of you gather in this room after your shift? We have something to take about." Shiraishi quickly announces before they leave. They nod and bid goodbye before quickly rushing off.

"I'll let Shinkai know." I offered before Shiraishi nods. "You should rest if you are tired."

As if on cue, Shinkai taps on the door and I feel my muscles tighten. Shiraishi grabs my hand and I feel her long fingers lightly rub my knuckles. Getting her cue, I relaxed and Shinkai bows to both of us.

"Shiraishi-sensei, it's time for your scans." Shinkai said. Shiraishi nods in reply and lets go of my hand.

"Shinkai, meet here after the day shift. We have some things to talk about." I told him. He lightly stiffens and he nods, knowing what I was talking about. The nurses roll her bed out of the empty ward and I sit there with my laptop and files. I work on my things for about an hour before Shiraishi comes back.

"All clear. Nothing is wrong, so I'll probably be back to work this week." She cheerfully says to me. I give a light smile in return. It was almost the end of the day shift, so we tried our best on working on different reports together. I help her with a report on a brain injury while she helps me with an abdominal surgery aftermath.

It felt so clear in my head. She does fill up the hole in my heart, the space I desperately wanted to fill. I always thought that I could replace it with my successes and praises from those around me, but I always felt empty at the end of the day. Until I met her, she made a impression on me. She didn't care if she was the best or not, she was far from the perfect doctor; but she was perfect in my eyes. She filled something inside my heart that I've tried to fill for years.

The day shift ends, and the staff that we called gathers in our room. They each grab a chair and sit around Shiraishi's bed. The Lifesaving team was confused why they saw Shinkai at first, but they quickly got the cue.

"So, we have new tracks on the stalker." Shiraishi starts. Saejima suddenly perks up and raises a question.

"Can we call Tachibana-sensei? If it's about the stalker, I think he should be here. He should hear all of this too." She quickly points out. Shiraishi agrees and dials for Tachibana-sensei. He comes in after a short awhile, apologizing for his late arrival before questioning why does it look like we are having an illegal gathering.

"It's about the stalker." I explain to him. His face stiffens and he gains his composure. Nodding, he stands by the table and Shiraishi continues to explain.

"Shinkai-sensei is receiving threats from the stalker as well. He's been receiving death threats and pictures of his private documents." She ends off. Shinkai pulls out his phone and loads the conversations. He passes it to all of us to see as he further adds on.

"I tried to contact the number, but it comes from a overseas carrier. At first, I thought it was some joke, like some nurse or doctor wanted to prank me. But then I received photographs of me as well. I started to become wary and tried to find all sorts of software to hack into the system and numbers. I track them with every break I have in work, but I can't get any clues." Shinkai explains. No wonder he looked so tired everyday. After a certain point, I realised he's been acting more slow and sluggish. He works silently and doesn't act like the same Shinkai I used to know.

"Also… Something is fishy." Shinkai admits. We stop and turn our heads to him.

"In the morning of the Heli incident, I received a text from another number. The text said something like 'say goodbye' or 'last goodbye'. Then, I got called in for an emergency operation in the ER. I saw Shiraishi-sensei." He hesitates. But we all got the meaning.

That stalker was aware the incident will happen today. But…how?

"That means…he was aware? Or planning it?" Hiyama asks. Shinkai shrugs in return. Tachibana-sensei sighs.

"Well, at least we have some traits. For now, let's ensure all of your safety, especially you, Shiraishi. The lawyers are coming down tomorrow morning to talk about the incident. All 5 of you will be required to be present. Shinkai-sensei, please take care of yourself. Following the lawyers, the detectives will be coming down later in the afternoon for the interrogation. All of you here should be there for the talk." Tachibana-sensei informs us. We nod and end the talk there. They leave to go home and bid us goodbye.

"Aren't you going home?" Shiraishi asks as we sit there in silence. I shrug, not knowing what to do. Was I suppose to just leave her in a empty ward, alone? Was I really going to risk that she will be safe, but ends up being harassed again? Shiraishi senses my fears and squeezes my hand.

"I'll be fine. Go home, you have work tomorrow, remember? No more skipping work and keeping me company anymore." Shiraishi assures me with a slight sweet smile. I hesitantly nod and rest my head on hers as I hug her. I lightly kiss the top of her head and she lets her head rest on my chest.

"Call me when you're home, okay? Make sure you get ample rest." She whispers to me in a soft voice. I nod and I depart her hesitantly.

It's quite funny to know she's made such a huge impact on my life, where even leaving her is hard for me to do. Are all couples like this? I've never been in many serious relationships in my life. Many times, I was concentrated on my studies. Girls did want to be with me, but I often rejected them, bluntly stating that I wasn't interested. This was different. Shiraishi suddenly made me discover a side of myself I never knew existed. A vulnerable, human side.

I pack my things at the office and leave the hospital. I took the train home and called Shiraishi. We talked for a bit as I ate my dinner. She lightly lectured me for not taking care of myself. I could only lightly chuckle and promise her that I'll take better care. She ended the call and left me to do my own things. I quickly got ready for bed and mentally listed down what I needed to do for work tomorrow.

Amidst in my thoughts, I fell asleep, clutching my phone in my hands.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

After ending the call with Aizawa, I surfed online for some new medical reports before I pause at a particular report. It was showing a trend of increased psychological disorders over the past few years, and how doctors should mentally prepare for that. I hesitated and rummaged through a box nearby me for a blank piece of paper. Hiyama had left this box for me, filled with undone files, papers, reports and personal items that she gathered at home. She even included my personal notes and books.

Quickly, I find the paper and started listing down whatever came to my head. All that happened in the past few months were jotted down. I murmured a few things to myself and messily scribbled on the paper, drawing arrows from bubble to bubble. I stopped and looked at what I mapped out. Making no sense, I sigh and crushed the paper. Throwing it in the bin near me, I took in deep breaths and calmed myself now. The stalker issue wasn't making sense. The clues that we found wasn't making much sense and didn't relate to one another.

I finish up some reports before I started to get tired. I shut my computer down and immediately put it aside. Taking another piece of paper, I listed down the clues we've found so far about the stalker issue. Linking some of them up, I found some similarities.

The Heli and car… someone was skilled in engineering and mechanics.

The phone numbers… someone had to be good in technology.

The breaks in and stalker... someone had to know where we went after work and all.

But who?

* * *

 _a/n: hello everyone! i apologise for the late update! ive been busy, so i couldn't find enough time to write this chapter. i really_ _appreciate all the reviews, so thank you so much for all the reviews! i gave you what i promised! they finally confessed to each other! does anyone want to make wild guesses on who is involved in the troublemaking? go on and make wild guesses!_

 _i decided ill clear up some things in this chapter that i didn't manage to clear in the past few chapters. remembering in the previous chapter when aizawa had a seizure? it is called a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure. it occurs in those who experienced a sudden traumatic event like abuse, death of a loved one or a sudden change. from the previous chapter, it was clear he suffered a traumatic event. for those wondering, the salty taste in shiraishi's mouth is due to the IV line inserted in her._

 _anyways, thanks for reading all! hope you enjoyed it! the answers will be answered soon. a word of advice, read the past chapters again, so the next one will be less confusing. once again, reviews are all welcome! leave some below! loves from me to you!_


	10. Chapter 10: The Fixed Puzzle

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, unless stated.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

I woke up the next morning due to body clock. It was barely 6am, yet the sun was out, bright and blinding. I check my phone and start catching up on my reports. I'm so grateful for my colleagues that took over my reports while I was hospitalized. The thought of being hospitalized sent chills down my spine. A throbbing headache hits and press a button to deliver me some narcotics to numb the pain. Strange, since when were my headaches this bad?

After a few hours, I stretched my arms and phoned my parents. They were particularly happy, and I sat down patiently to chat with them. They pushed me by asking about Aizawa and I. I could never lie, and they knew even through just my replies and voice alone. I caught up with them, but sadly had to end the call, since my father had to return and work on some documents. I checked up on his health, which he said he's doing fine.

After we ended the call, it seemed by coincidence that Aizawa knocked on the door. He entered, while holding some takeaway food. He placed one box on the table in front of me and one by the side and he dragged the chair next to the bed.

"Good morning-" I was cut off by Aizawa's actions. His hand reached under my chin as he bent downwards. Turning his hand, he lays a small kiss on my cheek and I felt the blood rush up to my face. My face flushed and I felt like I could faint anytime. He presses his forehead against mine and pushes back a strand of my stray hair. I could see that small, arrogant and triumphant smirk on his face, but it quickly fades after seeing my face and he pulls away.

"I shouldn't have-" He apologizes, but I cut him off.

"No, no, I was just not used to it." I quickly say. He still looks guilty but I assure him I wasn't used to relationships and matters of the heart.

"I bought you some food." He says, changing the topic. "I'm not sure if you'll like it though."

"Ah, bento? Don't worry, I love it. I grew up on this." I laugh and we dig into our breakfast. Tachibana came in a while later to inform us that the lawyers are coming in an hour time. I let Aizawa change into his scrubs and finish his breakfast. I, too, finish mine and dispose of it.

"How are you going to get to the meeting room?" He questions me. I shrug.

"I'll just get into a wheelchair. I can do it, its fine." I said and carefully swing my legs off the bed. Aizawa helps me open the wheelchair and I hobble and try to get into the wheelchair. Well, its not so easy, considering one leg barely wants to work with you and your head feels like its been hit a thousand times. My headaches were supposed to be subsiding, but this one just refused to go down.

Aizawa sighs and shakes his head at me. He tells me to sit on the bed and he picks me up bridal style. My head hits his chest lightly, and I could still remember the smell from his bed, his fresh cologne and musky scent. He sits me on the wheelchair and lets me adjust myself. It was just morning, yet there was so many things I had to accustom myself to. _Aizawa and I are a couple. This was normal, right?_

"Better?" He asked me. I nod and he wheels me out towards the conference room. My other colleagues were there, and they checked in to check how I was doing. I checked in with Haitani and was glad to hear from the seniors that he managed to perform an emergency surgery with his fellow interns. I congratulated him and told him to work hard.

Saejima helped to adjust my IV line before sitting back down. My head was hurting more with every moment, and I think Aizawa could tell.

"Does it hurt badly?" he softly asked to me and gently grabs my wrist. I slightly nod and he asks Tachibana-sensei if I could be excused.

"Aizawa, I don't need to be excused. Hiyama, do you have some aspirin? And water?" I asked. Hiyama nods and digs her scrub pockets for a pill and hands me a bottle of water. I take the pill and take a few deep breaths.

"Are you sure you are okay?" He asks me. I nod. To further assure him, I give him a squeeze with my hand. Whatever stopped the subsiding of my headaches, I better ask Shinkai. The lawyers arrive shortly, and we start the conferencing.

"Shiraishi-sensei, we hear that the Heli crashed?" One of the lawyers asked me. I nod and try my best to explain what happened. With the headache consistently kicking my brain, it was hard to regurgitate the story and what I could remember.

"Yes, I was on board the Heli when it crashed. We were bringing a patient back when the pilots said that there was going to be some turbulence." I explained and another wave of pain shot my head. I kept my composure and took in another deep breath and explained.

"We were stuck on the Heli and I started to realize that the patient was contaminated. I soon knocked out after calling Shohoku." I quickly finished. The lawyers nodded as they took down some points and asked Haitani and Yukimura, who gave similar replies. They asked the rest of the staff on what happened afterwards as well. I could barely concentrate and keep my composure together. Throughout the conference, I could only dig my fingers into my palm to keep myself together _. Keep it together_ , I told myself, _keep it in_.

They asked the pilots on the Heli a few questions, of which they replied in short and vague answers. The talk ended quickly and Tachibana ended the talk. They wished me well with my health and I bowed lightly to them. Once the lawyers and pilots left, it was as if I could finally breath. I let out a sound of distress as I shake my head to get rid of the pain.

"Are you really okay?" Aizawa asked, as he crouched down next to me. I couldn't really reply him since the headache was killing me. My superior and best friends surrounded me as I clutched my head and took slow deep breaths. Haitani offered that he called for helped, but Hiyama instructed that he called for Shinkai instead. Aizawa offered that he called Shinkai directly. They brought me back to the ward and I ensured Tachibana-sensei that I'll be fine. Yukimura and Haitani quietly left, not wanting to interrupt us. Aizawa pushed a button to deliver a wave of narcotics, but I did that numerous times in the morning, yet with no avail.

Shinkai arrives shortly and inspects what is being pumped into my system. Suddenly, he commands Saejima to bring him some drugs and he injects them into the IV bag and directly into my system. Within minutes, the pain subsides and I am able to breath properly.

"What was wrong?" I managed to ask. Shinkai inspects my drug list and IV lines over and over before he finally answers me.

"Someone tampered with the bag." He sighs. Our eyes bulge out and we look at him in shock. Tampered?

"What? What do you mean?" Fujikawa asks.

"I made a request to pump painkillers into your system and to stop your headaches with the drugs. Usually, the IV bag would have something written on it to show it was different. This IV bag has nothing on it. Furthermore, whoever switched the IV bag, didn't do it last night. It wasn't recorded." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, I should have-"

"Shinkai-sensei, its fine. It wasn't your fault that the nurse didn't put in the painkillers for-" I stop midway and a bulb clicked in my head. I reach over to the paper of clues and neatly added that to the list.

"What's that?" Hiyama asked. They gather round me to peek at the table.

"I gathered the clues we have on the stalker. Here, you see that the stalker had to be skilled in mechanics. Over here, the stalker needed to know our locations and good in tracking. This here shows that the stalker needed to be medically trained. Shinkai just mentioned someone didn't change my IV bag. It was probably done on purpose." I explained my thoughts.

"That makes some sense, I think." Saejima mumbles.

"Could it be a team of people?" Aizawa says out loud. We look at him in silence, letting him continue.

"No one can cover all 3 aspects, and handle being undercover. A team of people must have been behind this, along with a mastermind." My brains hurts from thinking so much. I massage my temples and they sigh. "We still have to meet the detective today." I groan.

"Well, I suggest we go back and settle as much work as we can first. It can't be good that all the ER doctors are missing." Fujikawa decides, filling the temporary placement of staff leader. At that moment, the radio rings, deploying for Doctor Heli. The team rushes out and Saejima sprints out first, since she is on flight duty. Hiyama follows, ordering for an extra bag. Shinkai gets an emergency call for the OR and quickly leaves. Fujikawa runs in the other direction, towards the ER. Aizawa makes eye contact with me. It was just both of us in the room now.

Walking closer to me, I lean over to him and he presses his forehead against mine. Our lips were just centimeters apart, but we took it slow. He knew I wasn't ready. We could feel each other's breathing, warm and soothing on our skin.

"Stay safe, Megumi." He whispers softly. I feel my hairs stand with the way he mentions my first name. _Megumi_. I hitch a breath as I let myself soak in that moment of intimacy we could have. Aizawa needed to leave in an approximate of 10 seconds.

He departs me and runs to the ER to get ready. By now, I see the helicopter flying past the window. I check my work cell, and I see that Tachibana-sensei has left me a text. He informs me that the detectives will be coming in around evening, just before night shifts instead. Once Shinkai was done with his OR, I fill out the documents needed and the paperwork I usually give patients to sign. Another doctor comes to check on my leg, and brings me to work on some simple physiotherapy. My injuries were far from the need of physiotherapy, but it would definitely increase the rate of recovery. After all, as a flight doctor, our stamina and health was extremely important.

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon filling out paperwork, constantly having doctors visit me, an atmosphere of boredom and an overworked brain. I finished my last paper at mid afternoon. The team I built so much was still busy, probably finishing up their work so that they can attend the meeting tonight. Even Aizawa didn't visit. They must be very busy now.

I reflect back to the moment Aizawa called me by my first name. During that 10 seconds, I didn't know what to reply. I was never in many serious relationships, and never concerned myself with any serious relationships. I was never jealous for my friends who were in relationships and neither did I want to indulge in one quickly. Aizawa and I were taking things at a normal pace, but to me, it was too fast. I wasn't ready to jump all the way in yet. I wanted things slow. Soon, I fell asleep to my own thoughts.

* * *

When I woke up, I woke up to someone brushing my fringe off my face. My eyes came into focus to see Aizawa's hand just above my eyes. Through that tanned golden skin, I saw the blush he was desperately trying to hide from me. Guilty and charged for staring at me when I sleep.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" He apologizes. I shake my head and stretch my arms and neck.

"No, not at all. I feel more rested now." I replied. He nods solemnly and ask about my headaches and my conditions. We discussed about what Shinkai told me earlier in the day about my headaches. To him, it was just the side effects, which should disappear very soon.

"Did Tachibana-sensei say when you are allowed to return to work?" Aizawa asked. I shrug.

"No, I plan to return in a week. I have more than enough time." I remark. He frowns at me, but I convince him I'm fine.

"Can I ask something?" I ask, a little too timidly. This triggers his attention and he puts on a serious expression.

"What's wrong?" He asks in a gentle voice.

"I…I want to take things slow. I don't want to rush through this. I want to enjoy the time I can have with you. I've never been in many serious relationships, so I want to enjoy this one." I say to him, my voice quivering with each word.

"Shiraishi, what are talking about?" He replies in a light, assuring tone. This was something I haven't heard from Aizawa in awhile.

"Eh?"

"I will take things slow. In fact, let me know if you are uncomfortable with anything I do. I feel better if you tell me." He assures me. He holds my hand and intertwines our fingers. I look at our fingers, laced with one another.

"Okay?" He asks in a low voice. I nod. He gives me a light squeeze before he lets go and stands up.

"I better go back to work. Hiyama will continue teasing me if she knew I came to find you for our break." He groans. I grin and let him return to work. Before he leaves my side, I grasp his hand once again and pull him towards me. He swiftly turns around and gives me a quick, but warm hug before he really needs to leave. With that, I'm left in the ward myself, bored with nothing to do. I look over my reports, but most of them are already done by the staff. I log onto my computer for more work, but I've already completed them.

I sigh and lie back on my pillows. Taking a good look at my leg, I wiggle my toes with boredom. There wasn't much for me to do in settings like this. I wanted and craved the adrenaline of Lifesaving, the sense of excitement when we are on the Heli, the eagerness to help the patients be put out of there misery. I picked up a book from the cardboard box from Hiyama and started to read.

I was halfway through my book before some administration staff came. I settled some administration matters, before a physiotherapist came to check on my leg and check my walking and movements. She unwrapped the bandage, of which I helped her. We exchanged small talk, as we slowly open the bandage. All that was left on my leg was a long scar. It was almost healed, but the internal part wasn't.

She started me on crutches, which I had no problem with. She removed me off crutches and guided me with walking with a railing. It was hard, not using my leg for a week and a half, but with small, light steps, I could complete a short lap in the Physiotherapy room. I completed a couple more laps and returned to the room in crutches. At least, I didn't need Aizawa to carry me to the wheelchair now. I'm so grateful, it was just both of us in the room in the morning.

Once I got back, my colleagues greeted me noisily. Hopping to my bed, they displayed a card, along with a clear container of cookies. The Fellows made this for me once they were off from work yesterday. I thanked them, but they merely smiled and wished for my recovery. They leave, once Tachibana-sensei mentions that we have to report. I hop my way to a meeting room slowly, with the staff in front and behind me.

"Ah, Shiraishi-sensei, yes?" A man wearing a police uniform said. I nod, and we sit for the meeting.

"So, we have reports that you are being harassed? And the rest of you are too?" The police man questions me. I nod in reply.

"I see. Please go ahead."

* * *

The police man nods as we take turns to explain what has been going on. He takes short and quick notes and questions us politely once someone finishes his or her part. We laid out the evidence for them and let him see the photos and messages. Hiyama, for the first time, was prepared and came with documents from the car malfunction and the mail and photos. The police even pulled out the break-in report I filed.

"Do any of you have any suspicions? Anyone in the hospital that is acting weird?" The police asked. We turn to each other in confusion and I thought of it for a while.

"We suspect that there is a team behind this." Aizawa replied. I quickly raise my point.

"I think one of them is working in the hospital." I add. The police man nods and he asks us more questions. Soon, we end the meeting and he ensures he will update us soon. He leaves, and Tachibana-sensei dismisses us from our duty.

"Tachibana-sensei, can I return to work in a week?" I ask. He considers my request before nodding, but request that I stay in the ER and to not go on the Heli for awhile. I thank him and went back to the ward, where Saejima brings me some dinner.

"When am I discharged?" I complain to my friends. Sitting here with nothing to do made me really want to at least go home. They lightly chuckle.

"Well, you can go home tomorrow if you want. Your scans are good, and you have been recovering well." Aizawa says as I chew on my chicken. I nod and Hiyama makes plans that we have dinner at my place this weekend. Before I can even agree, Fujikawa agrees and plans with Hiyama and Saejima. I shrug at the idea. I guess dinner is fine.

"Aizawa, you are coming, right? The last I checked, you aren't on night shift this weekend. Actually, we all aren't." Fujikawa interrupts. I look over to him and he shrugs. I know how much he hates gathering, but he agrees for my sake. They agree on the plans and return to night shift. Hiyama is going home tonight, so she offers to carry some things home.

"Do you need anything at home?" She asks as she packs some books in her bag.

"Mm…No, I'll be going home tomorrow, anyways. Have a safe trip home!" I call out to her just as she leaves once I shake her head. I stretch my neck and Aizawa walks in. He pulls a chair up and sits down.

"Night shift? Or are you going home soon?" I ask him. He lightly shakes his head.

"I'm going to stay here tonight, with you." He says, trying to hide his embarrassment. I'm slightly stunned with his reply, before I process what he was saying.

"O-okay." Noticing my sudden awkwardness and discomfort, he sits on the bed next to me and holds me. His hand rest on my head, and I let my head lie on his shoulder. His warmth spreads with my body and I breathe in his scent. The smell of the forest from his cologne filled my nose.

"It is okay?" He whispers to me. I nod against his shoulder and pull away, letting my arms rest on his shoulders. His hands rest on my waist and he presses his forehead gently on mine. I close my eyes and savor this moment. This was a rare moment for us to be able to be together.

We pull away and he lets me lie down on the bed. I shift myself, giving him some space. He stands up and goes to change to a pair of sweatpants and a blue scrub top. He sits on the chair and rests his head on his arms next to me.

"You sure you don't want to sleep on the bed?" I ask him. He shakes his head and holds onto my fingertips.

"I don't want to leave you alone, again. Who knows what would happen?" He murmurs sleepily. His eyes are about to shut and his grip on my fingers loosen. Soon, his eyes close and I know he has fallen asleep. I bend over and lightly kiss the top of his head.

"Good night, Kōsaku-chan." I whisper.

* * *

Aizawa POV

My neck and back muscles ache from resting in this position. But it was worth it, being able to sit with Shiraishi and sleep by her side. I woke up just as a sliver of sunlight shone through the curtains. Groggily, I open my eyes to look at Shiraishi on her hospital bed. Even there, she looked beautiful. I slowly and quietly got up, stretching my back and muscles.

For a while, it felt like we were back at the office. When we were on night shift, the night I realized how much I loved her. She was so peaceful, so graceful, but yet so strong. She wasn't some princess daughter of a famous professor; she wasn't some nerd prodigy studying medicine. She was Megumi Shiraishi, the core and carrier of Lifesaving in Shohoku.

Her body stirred and her eyes slowly opened. I straightened myself as she stretched her arms out. Looking at me, she gave a tired smile that perfectly fitted her oval face.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" She asked as she yawned.

"I did, but my neck hurts a little." I said to her. She gives a disapproving shake of her head.

"I told you to sleep on the bed, didn't I?" She lightly scolds, almost mocking me. Turning me around, she lightly massages my neck. Everything made it better. Her with me, boosted my mood. How caring and cute she was made me feel so happy and loved. My face turns red and I looked down in pure embarrassment.

"Eh? What's wrong? Is it too painful?" Shiraishi asked. Gosh, even her bluntness was cute. It was too much for my heart to handle. I wasn't used to people with lots of love. It made me feel so shy. Shiraishi was someone that was full of joy and love, someone that contrasted my dark and cold heartedness.

"Ah, no. Nothing." I reply her. She stops and I let my neck move around a bit. Definitely, it was much better. It was still early, so I stayed with her. She scooted over on the bed, to let me sit down. With an arm round her lightly resting on her hip, she rests her head on my chest. For a while, we sat in silence, looking at the sun outside.

"Who do you think is harassing us?" Shiraishi asks as she looks up to me.

"A hospital member. A science geek. Someone that knows us very well. It could be anyone we know." I tell her. Shiraishi bites her lip in anxiousness.

"Don't worry, the police said they will get back to us soon, right? They even said they will inspect the Heli for any malfunctions." I assure her. She nods, but I could tell she wasn't convinced. I lightly kiss the top of her head and let my finger rub over her small hand, letting her know it was going to be fine. She looks up at me gives me a light peck on my cheek, squeezing my hand at the same time as a thank you. I try my best to hide the red on my face.

Lightly grinning, she starts to check her documents and packs her remaining things. I do the same, instead prepare to go to the office. I change into some fresh scrubs after a shower and grab the things I need. I sit at my desk for a while, returning back to reality. Hiyama drops in and I let her know Shiraishi is done packing her things. Hiyama nods and go backs to drop Shiraishi a change of clothes.

We go and report for the morning meeting, where Tachibana stands in, covering Fujikawa who was on night shift. The meeting goes as normal, only that Tachibana mentions that Shiraishi will be returning next week. Everyone brightens up in a smile. Commencing our duties, I was placed on flight duty with Natori today. We were on the Heli more of the time, sending patients from location to location. I was so busy, I didn't realize Shiraishi had already gone home.

During lunch, I sat down alone as usual by a small table to check my phone. Shiraishi left me a few messages, letting me know she's home and safe. We exchange a few messages before Fujikawa scoots himself over to my table along with Hiyama and Saejima.

"Oh, texting Shiraishi?" Fujikawa says cheekily. Saejima shoots him a glare and Fujikawa shuts his mouth.

"Is this a side of Aizawa we aren't seeing?" Hiyama teases. I roll my eyes at them and Saejima sighs lightly. We both mentally agree that they act just like high school kids.

"Anyways, we came here to tell you about the dinner this weekend. Bring her out of the house on a date or something. We are planning a surprise for her." Hiyama explains. "I'm in charge of decorations. Saejima is cooking for us. Fujikawa is the mood maker. You are in charge of occupying her." She points at each of us with her fork as she explains.

"Eh? I get the most useless role! Why?" Fujikawa complains.

"Useless? You're just being yourself! It's the easiest role here! You don't need to cook or prepare anything! Besides, you just bring yourself!" Hiyama argues.

"Date? Where can I go? She won't go out with me either, don't you think? She would want to-" I argue back to them but Saejima cuts me off.

"You should be able to think of something, right, Aizawa-sensei? She will definitely go out with you." Saejima rebuts back, a smirk ghosting her face.

"Mm…I agree with Haruka. It's only polite that she went." Fujikawa adds, sipping on his juice.

"It's time she left her house instead of being a hermit. Ah, but take care of her. If she ends up on a bad date, I'm blaming you for it." Hiyama ends off as she continues to eat her salad. They exchange in a quiet talk and I sit there and think of what I can do on the weekend, to bring Shiraishi out. Where can we go? I barely know what she likes, I can't even remember her birthday. The last I remember wishing her was in my first year as a intern. I scrambled through my thoughts, thinking of where else I can bring her.

I quickly finish my lunch and retreat to the staff station, where I sit in my thoughts for a few minutes. A park? No, that isn't good for her leg. A museum trip? But what if she doesn't like it? Maybe a trip to somewhere cultural for the day? Ah, what if she finds it too tiring for her? My brains were fried. Yokomine snaps me back into reality, asking me for something. Putting the thoughts aside, I go back to work.

* * *

My day ends with me wheeling a patient to HCU. I advise the interns to keep track on this patient. This was a patient they saved together while I was stuck in an emergency surgery. It wasn't easy, but with their teamwork they did it. They were improving well, and I was certain Shiraishi would let them ride the Heli alone very soon. I pack my bags and change out of my scrubs.

Just as I left the locker rooms, I headed back to the office to make sure I had everything. I consider calling Shiraishi, to make sure she was okay. But I shrugged off the thought. Hiyama can take care of her, I'm sure. I don't need anymore teasing from Fujikawa. As I am about to step out of the room, I see a familiar face outside the office.

Amano Kanade's mother.

I stiffen and walk out as quickly as I can, not wanting her to wait. She has a haggard face, tired and bloodshot eyes. Something about her immediately pointed out something was wrong. I ushered her inside onto the couch. I poured a glass of water for her and sat it down on the table.

"How I can help you, Amano-san?" I asked.

Her eyes meet mine and I see the fear outlining her pupils. Something was definitely wrong now. Shakily, she picks up the glass of water to take a sip. Putting it back down, she suddenly collapses and falls to the floor in a heap of tears. Shocked, I try to help her up, but she doesn't want to as she noisily burst into tears.

At that moment, Fujikawa and Saejima so happened to walk past. I gave them a look before they came in as well to help Amano Kanade's mother up from the floor and onto the couch. Saejima soothingly rubs her back as she calms her down. Taking in deep breaths, she finally regains her composure to speak.

"Sensei…please help my daughter…" she cries out.

"Kanade is already out of the hospital, Amano-san. Aizawa has already put her life out of danger, right?" Fujikawa empathetically comforts the crying mother. Instead, she shakes her head violently.

"You need to find her. She's dangerous now." The mother cries out. It piques my interest and I lean in towards her. Fujikawa pulls on a serious face and does the same.

"Explain it one more time. What do you mean?" I slowly but clearly say.

"She's finding her. Kanade is finding-" The mother composes herself and lets out in shaky breaths.

"Her? Who is she?" Saejima asks.

"The doctor. The one that was with you that day." Her mother quickly says. My thoughts go to the one and only Shiraishi. Shiraishi? What did Kanade have to do with Shiraishi?

Suddenly it all hit me. Did she have to do with the message?

"They are coming for her. They are-" I pause and cut her off.

"They? Who?" I ask, louder this time.

"I don't know who, a nurse…some technician…" Her mother mumbled.

Before she completed her sentence, it came crashing to me like a truck. The pieces fit nicely, completing my puzzle. My heart thumped against my chest violently and I was so afraid it would bounce out. Abruptly, I stood up as the pieces formed the puzzle I feared the most. Saejima's puzzle fixes faster than mine as she leaps to her feet and asks for the middle aged lady to stay in the hospital in the lobby. I abandoned my bags but dash out the door with Fujikawa running next to me. I dial Hiyama at the same time. Saejima follows behind, chasing us.

"Hiyama, where are you?" I hear Fujikawa calling for Tachibana-sensei as well.

"Leaving the hospital." Just as I turned to the lobby, I see Hiyama by the car park outside and hang up. She unlocks her car and we scurry over to her. I jump into the backseat with Fujikawa and Saejima jumps in the front. Fujikawa just tells her to drive home, stat. Hiyama doesn't comply, but we shout at her to go and she does so.

"Explain what's going on at least!" Hiyama complains as she steps on the accelerator.

"Shiraishi is in danger. We need to get there immediately."

* * *

 _a/n: an update for all of you! things are getting real juicy and scary here! while writing this, i had such a thrill writing this. I'm so afraid of what ill be writing next. let me know what you think is going to happen! who do you think are behind this trouble?_

 _you guys asked, so i delivered! i just published my one shot book around a week ago. do go and check it out! im welcome for requests and suggestions from all of you! let me know what you like to see in that one shot book. ill gladly take on your suggestions! (although i might suck on em HHAHAAHAHA) check out my profile to find the book! its called lifesaving shots. hope you enjoy!_

 _as always, reviews are welcome! let me know how you feel in this chapter! hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! love to the code blue community!_

 _ **Hi guys! i thought ill let you guys know about my progress on this story!**_

 _ **im extremely sorry on this hiatus, and i never planned for it to happen. I've been extremely caught up with school, and i don't have time to sit down and write a good chapter. when i do, i always end up writing gibberish. ive been going through drafts and none of them are up to my expectations. as such, I am going to keep writing until i think it's right.**_

 _ **i'll be done with an exam very soon, so hopefully I'll have time to write. for all those who left reviews, I thank you all soooo much for being patient with me! have major exams and writing a fic is never simple, so i really appreciate all the reviews. thanks everyone for support this story! i hope this update this soon, so please don't give up on this yet! ill be back soon!**_

 _ **-akino**_


	11. Chapter 11: Miracle during Threats

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, unless stated.

NOTE: i made up the detective character and irrevelant characters. the main cast is not mine.

* * *

Aizawa POV

"You are telling me she's in danger? And that a 14-year-old is coming to find her?" Hiyama scoffs. "You're kidding, right?" She steps on the accelerator as she turns from the car park.

"Hiyama, it's true. We came in when her mother was on the floor. She was literally begging for Aizawa to help her daughter." Fujikawa insists. Saejima nods and she tries to get on the line with the police. Fujikawa had just ended his call with Tachibana-sensei.

"Tachibana-sensei says that we should check it out, but get the police on their way too. He expects us to report back after we're done with the police and Shiraishi if she isn't injured." Fujikawa says with a slight drag on the last part.

She was all I could think off. Time after time, she was always getting hurt. She didn't deserve anything like this, she didn't deserve anything. She deserves something much better, a happier life. Yet, she tells me every day that she's fine. She tells me I have nothing to worry about. But I'm smart enough emotionally to know she's dead scared inside. My thoughts go deeper and deeper as I try to clear my mind. _She will be fine_ , I thought, _she will be fine._

"What does Kanade have to do with Shiraishi?" Hiyama questions, bringing me out of my thoughts. I guess she directs the question to me since they turn to me. I merely sigh and shrug. None of this made sense, but let's face it, none of these past few months made sense, didn't it?

Hiyama makes a swift turn and we accommodate the sudden inertia and force. I try calling her, but it always ends up on a dead line. By now, my impatience was growing, along with my worries. It was literally eating me from the inside. Fujikawa notices and lands a firm pat on my shoulder.

"She'll be fine." Fujikawa lets me know. Hiyama does a few turns and she jerks to a halt at the carpark of the apartment complex. We hastily got out of the car and jog to the entrance. Just a few steps away from the entrance, I hear a car pull up and I turn, stopping my tracks. As a black car stops, the familiar detective stepped out with two police officers and we exchange quick greetings. Well, a slight nod of my head and the others behind me mutter something before jogging.

"Wait!" The detective calls out and we turn, going back. I can hear Hiyama curse under her breath and I bite my lip to contain myself. The detective does have a bigger control over this. I'll let him ask me the questions, but I just want to leave so I can make sure she's fine.

"Let's fill each other in first, shall we?" The detective suggests. He senses our urgency and he assured us that it will be fine. We quickly fill him in on what happened from the moment I wanted to knock off work. He listens tentatively and fills in the blanks himself. Nodding his head, he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and nods again.

"This Kanade-chan, is behind this?" He asked. We nod hastily.

"Let's go. Hiyama, please." He said, directing Hiyama. Hiyama nods before sprinting off and we follow. Barging into the apartment complex, the security guard looks at us with odd eyes, but a simple few words from the detective eased them. Stairs were definitely much faster, so Hiyama launches to the stairs and flies through. I hold the door for everyone else and run behind them, as the last one.

"Well, looks like we have the real deal today, right?" the detective said. We nod slightly as we fly upstairs, two at a time. We are halfway before we hear a blaring alarm. Hiyama flies out the door to the floor we are on and we pour along, finding out which car was blaring it. We didn't need any more distractions, but I guess it's good to know what was going on. Looking out, our stomach drops. There, the dark silver car, yellow headlights and taillights blinking, the car we just sat on was there, blaring away.

"Is there anyone there?" I ask as I peer around. Saejima shakes her head and so does Fujikawa. I hear a radio crackle and I turn to see the detective communicating with the police officers downstairs.

"I just checked, no one broke in. It just turned on. Hiyama did you-" Hiyama cuts him off before he can complete his question.

"I didn't! I…" She trails off and her face goes pale. Looking out again to see the car, she looks at her car keys and turns the alarm off. Bolting through the door, we turn back and follow her direction.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice slightly echoing from the empty staircase.

"We need to go, _now_!" Hiyama quickly shouts and climbs faster. We keep her pace as we reach the floor of Shiraishi's apartment and quickly evacuate. I barge the door open and we stumble in.

The surroundings looked messy. Her sofa pillows were thrown on the floor and a few books were strewn all over. A cup of tea sat toppled on the floor, a light sweet evergreen seeping from the cup to the floor. What scared me the most was the stab mark on the sofa and the spill of blood next to it…

The sound of a closet door brings me back. I run over to the sound at Shiraishi's bedroom and the detective follows me too. Barging in, I'm greeted by a handful of people, wearing all black and had masks on. I hear the footsteps behind me and I know the other 3 has caught up. 4 of them held Shiraishi down on the bed and the other sat on top of her a silver, shiny knife in hand. The 4 others notice us and 2 step forward, each with a small knife in hand.

The detective sighs and steps in front of us. Easily, he blocks their raised arm and grabs both of their arms, twisting it at the same time. The knives fall to the ground and Fujikawa helps him hold them in place. Digging for his handcuffs, Saejima and Hiyama attend to ongoing commotion with me. A familiar female voice catches my attention. I catch the phrases, "say goodbye and goodnight" before she raises the knife above her head. My mind registers those words quickly and I realise what is going to happen.

And I lose my mind.

"Stop it!" I shout as I panic and run forward, holding back the arm with the silver knife. Pulling her off, I shove her to the floor where she instantly reacts and slashes the knife ferociously in front of me. I lunge towards her and grip her arms tightly, as she tries to squirm free. Doing this, her knife leaves a gash on my arm and I jerk back, releasing her from my grasp. I hear some struggles behind, but I know they have it under control.

Concentrating on the woman in front of me, she lunges towards me, knife in hand, attempting to stab me. We end up in a struggle, her knife trying to pierce my stomach and my hand grabbing her wrist, trying to avoid it at all costs. A sudden sting comes from the cut on my arm and I wince, releasing the grip on her wrist. When this happens, her hand thrust forward more. Before it cuts through my shirt, my reflexes catch the knife as I grab the sharp edges, wincing as it cuts into my hand.

Blood, red and sticky, drip onto the floor, covering my hand with the warm liquid. The more she tries, the harder I grab, causing the knife to cut more. I bite my lip, trying to stop myself from reacting to the pain. I grunt in frustration and I manage to hear some cries from behind. It must be the other two people. I hear a string of curse words, a few punches and a few cries. _Well, Hiyama has it sorted out, right?_ My answers are right when she comes into view, dragging two culprits by their shirts on the floor. 4 down, 1 to go.

The detective tries his best to get that woman away from me, but she manages somehow to kick him in the groin. By now, all of them, with the exception of Shiraishi, is trying to get the knife and everything else away from me. Finally, the detective manages to loosen her grip on the knife and pulls her back. I can hear Shiraishi's choked sobs and strangled coughs. The woman, by now, has stopped fighting and I reach to the cut on my arm and start to wipe it with my shirt. From the corner of my eye, the woman looks as if she has given up and accepted that she was going to get caught.

But it doesn't end there.

At the moment the detective wants to handcuff her, she breaks free from his grasp and lunges towards me with all her might. My reflexes aren't fast enough and the people around me register it before I do. I hear Shiraishi scream and they gasp. I hear the tear of fabric and an overwhelming silence. My mind blurs and I look down, finally registering what had happened. Warm sticky blood now drips, pooling on the floor in a mess. I turn to look at my arm, still bleeding. My arm is bloody, looking as if I just performed a surgery without scrubbing up.

But it's nothing compared to the knife, lodged in my abdomen.

"Enough!" The detective commands and grabs her, lifting her off the ground in the process. She writhes in his grasp, but Fujikawa holds her down. Saejima holds her arm down at the same time while they handcuff her and tie a belt around her they found in Shiraishi's closet. My vision starts to blur and my knees buckle. Falling to the ground, I hear the shuffling of feet as my head grows heavy. My eyes blur as I try to stay conscious.

"Aizawa! Focus!" I hear Hiyama shout. I concentrate and my vision clears for a while. I'm facing the ceiling of the room as Shiraishi's wet face comes into view. Her eyes are red and tears continue to stream down her face. I vaguely hear Saejima calling for an ambulance and feel Hiyama trying to absorb the blood with some clean gauze she found in the first aid box. A small hand grabs mine and squeezes it.

"You're…okay…" I manage to pant out. Shiraishi nods as she sniffles. Her hand touches my cheek and my hand weakly reaches up to hold her hand.

"Worry about yourself. Don't waste your energy." She whispers softly to me and she interlaces my hand with hers.

"Listen, Aizawa. You have to hang on, alright? The ambulance is coming. Dammit, your bleeding is getting too serious." Hiyama commands to me. I weakly reply to her and let her try to control the bleeding. Looks like _I'm_ the patient today. What's new in Lifesaving? None of this is new, that's for sure.

"I'm okay." I whispered lightly. She wipes her tears away and she shakes her head.

"You just got stabbed, Aizawa! How are you okay?" She cries to me. I merely give a weak smile and a sharp pain causes me to wince.

"Aizawa!" Shiraishi gasps in concern, but I shake my head weakly. Saejima pulls a spare blanket over my body, just covering the area above my stab wound. That is when I suddenly realise how cold I feel. I'm shivering and I know what is going to happen.

"Shiraishi…if I don't make it…know how much I love you…" My words slur as I try to stay in focus. I'm starting to go into shock, and Hiyama is trying her best to stop it before the ambulance arrives.

"Aizawa! Don't spout nonsense! You are going to make it! Don't die on me!" Shiraishi shouts, her sorrow echoing in my heart and mind. My hand reaches up to touch her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. Her hand catches mine and she holds it. I give her my best smile and I see her eyes grow with concern. I glimpse her life come to a halt as I manage to let out the last words I wanted to say.

"I love you." My hand drops from her side as I feel my breathing intensify. The sound of a door bolting open catches my attention and I peer behind.

I hear more shuffling and look behind her. I see familiar faces, familiar blue scrubs and my vision starts to blur away. I blink my eyes rapidly and try to concentrate. More people shout for my name and I feel more hands around me. Slipping in and out of consciousness, I start to feel weaker and weaker, as my hearing starts to muffle more. I hear muffled shouts, commands and I finally slip away into a deep black abyss.

* * *

Shiraishi POV

Emptiness. That's all I feel. I'm back at the hospital, in the resting room, holding a mug of tea that has already turned cold. I can't seem to feel my legs anymore. They have long gone numb from the time I've sat here. My hair, wet and cold, drips icy water on my dry clothes. My body shivers from the air conditioning, but I can barely feel the cold against my skin.

After Aizawa let go of my hand, Natori, Yokomine and Yukimura arrive and start to intubate him in a hurry. Fujikawa and Saejima volunteers to accompany them, and Hiyama offers to bring me to the hospital. Upon arriving, I'm whisked into the resting room, where Hiyama cleans the blood from my hands and face, tending to the cut on my arm. She makes me take a hot shower to change my clothes and pours a mug of tea, where she makes me take a few sips. She then leaves to rush home and grab a few items. I only follow, in silent motions slowly.

Hiyama knocks on the door and enters. She comes in with a towel and starts to towel dry my hair for me. She sets the mug of tea to the side on the table in the room and gently dries my hair. Without warning, my tears leak out of my tear ducts and start dripping down my face. They silently drip, but it doesn't take Hiyama to look to notice. She can feel it herself. Setting the towel aside, she sits next to me and gently puts her arm around me. Pulling me into a hug, she lets me cry on her shoulder as she gently soothes me like how a mother would to her child.

After a while, a slight knock on the door, pulls me away. Saejima pops her head in and bows to both of us. She enters with some takeaway dinner and prepares them for us. She picks up the mug of tea and pours it away, replacing it with hot tea. Handing me the tea, she makes me take a few sips again, before coaxing me to eat a small portion of my meal.

"Is he okay?" I mumble, finally able to vocalise the one question clouding my mind.

"Fujikawa-sensei said he will call once they are done with the surgery and in ICU. When Tachibana-sensei dismissed me, they were stitching him up." Saejima informs me, a calm tone in her voice.

"His injuries?" I ask.

"Aizawa-sensei went into shock just as Natori-sensei arrived. We are fairly lucky to be close by. Tachibana-sensei and Haitani-sensei then started to treat him and managed to stop the bleeding. The knife, luckily, didn't pierce through any vitals." Saejima reports, a solemn sad tone in her voice. I can interpret the treatments and everything else myself. Just at that moment, Saejima's cell went off and she quickly reached to answer the call. She hung up soon after a few seconds.

"We can visit him now, although he is still unconscious and resting." Saejima says. I rush to stand, but Hiyama pulls me back down, and makes me finish my tea and most of my dinner before I can leave. I obediently comply and tell myself to fix myself together. There was no way I was going to stay so broken and not functioning for so long. Once I was done, I put on a jacket to warm myself and washed my face.

We walk to the ICU where I limp my way to his bedside. Saejima squeezes my shoulder and leaves to check up on other patients. Hiyama lets me know the detective wants to take my statement in about five minutes. That's more than enough time for me to say what I want to say to Aizawa. Thanking her, she leaves to finish her dinner, leaving me alone with him.

His arm was bandaged and many tubes laid by his side. With different tubes and lines stuck in him, I imagined if this is what he saw the day of the Heli crash. A tube down his throat, lines through his major veins and wrist, I wondered how hard it was for him to look at me. Looking at him, it made me stomach churn with every negative emotion I possess. For sure, it _wasn't_ pretty. I sit down next to him, and without knowing, take his hand in mine. I hold his hand against my face as I imagine those dark brown eyes staring at me again.

"I'm here, Kousaku-chan. If you are worried, don't be. Hiyama made me eat before visiting you, though she had to force me." I say softly, although I know he can't hear me. I can almost hear his disapproval, for making Hiyama force me to eat. _When will take care of yourself?_ I hear him tease me.

"You're okay now, Kousaku-chan. Don't do anything reckless like that anymore, alright? You could have died." I choke on the last word as my eyes begin to sting with tears.

"You promised me you will be with me, right? Don't break that promise, Kousaku." My throat begins to choke up and I take a shaky breath. Gulping down some saliva, I composed myself as I rub his hand with mine. I hear a soft knock and I turn around to the glass doors. I see the detective and he points to a room before mouthing to me the words, 'statement' and 'truth'. I nod my head in reply.

"I need to leave for a bit, okay? I'll be back very soon." I say to his motionless body. I remember what he said before he lost consciousness and I bite my lip.

"I love you too, Kou-chan." I whisper to him as a few tears slip through. Wiping them away quickly, I lean forward and lightly kiss his forehead, caressing his cheek in the process. Standing up, I leave ICU and walk next to the detective.

"Shiraishi-sensei, I'm glad you are not injured from this. Now, we will need to take your statement and we will get back to you tomorrow on what the culprits said." He said, guiding me to the room. I nod and jog my memory. The previous few hours will definitely stay with me for a long time. I'm surprised I'm not dead from this. Taking a seat, he lets me start.

 _Shortly after I texted Hiyama and Aizawa that I was home, Hiyama informed me she cooked some food and all I had to do was heat it up. I opened the fridge to an array of perfectly homecooked meals stored in different coloured tupperwares. Taking one out, I pop it in the microwave and heat it up. Noticing my surroundings, I smile and let out a slight laugh. Hiyama took time to clean up the house after all._

 _I ate my meal and decided to write a few reports I brought home. Afterwards, I read a few medical reports I missed and ended up researching on the reports for an hour or so. I can almost hear Hiyama chiding me for working too hard. I decided to take a break and ended up taking a quick nap. I woke up just as the sun started to set and I rubbed my eyes, admiring the golden rays of sun seeping through the curtains._

 _"It's so pretty." I whispered to myself as I smiled. The scenery looked exactly like a watercolour painting. Admiring the rays of golden light in the living room, I poured myself some tea and sat there as the sun started to set._

 _At that moment, trouble came barging in. Literally._

 _The door bust open and I turn my head. In came in 5 people, dressed in black with full masks. Standing up and backing away, I silently glare at them with my eyes burning holes in them. I didn't need someone to tell me who they were. They are the ones harassing me for the past few months._

 _"You don't look very strong, do you?" A familiar voice mocks to me. I recognise it almost instantly. Kanade-chan…_

 _"Why? Why are you doing this, Kanade?" I snarl at her. Another one of them slams me against the bookshelf, wrapping his hand round my neck in the process. I let out a slight shriek and a few books fall down._

 _"Why? You don't need to know. I just want you dead." She snarls at me, an evil tone in her voice. The man lifts me and throws me on the sofa, knocking over my tea in the process. As Kanade comes over, she chokes my neck as she traces my jaw with the knife._

 _"You're not very pretty either, aren't you?" She asks me. I don't reply and merely keep quiet._

 _"Well, let's put an end to it." Raising the knife over her head, she plunges it down as I break from her grasp. The knife cuts into my arm and leaves a smear of fresh bright red on the couch. I roll off anf land on the floor. Banging my arm on the coffee table legs, I groan in reply. I quickly reach up and press the car alarm for the car. I hear the alarm sound loud and clear and sigh in relief. They are here. Kanade's anger are evident in her eyes and someone lifts me to the bedroom._

 _Quickly, some hands hold my legs and arm down and Kanade lands herself on me. I bite my lip to suppress my pain as her hand grasp my throat and squeezes it, attempting to choke me. The knife trails along my jawline as I feel her breath against my neck. I hear the door bust open and a few figures pop into view. Hands are removed as Kanade continues her business with me._

 _"If you are wondering, its time to say goodbye." And she raises her knife above her head._

"That's what happened. Afterwards, you were there to witness everything else." I end off, taking a shaky sip of water. The detective, taking notes, dismisses me and tells me to take a good rest. I leave and recognise a familiar middle-aged lady standing in the waiting area. Her eyes catch mine as she walks over, and I do too. The pain in both of our eyes are evident and we see it.

"Shiraishi-sensei, I'm so, so, sorry. I never planned for this to happen." Amano-san starts to apologise and falls to her knees, crying in a heap of tears. I kneel next to her and I get her to stand and sit down.

"Amano-san, its not your fault. I don't blame you or your daughter. But…why does your daughter want me dead?" I ask her. She wipes her tears and takes in a deep breath.

"Before she started to see Aizawa-sensei, I noticed she would talk to herself and sometimes to nothing at all. I suspected something was wrong with her, so I brought her to Aizawa-sensei. Diagnosing her with the tumour, it seemed like the only reason why she acted like this." I nod as she continues.

"But it started to get worse. Sometimes, she would fight with her own self. So I took her to a psychologist. He diagnosed her with schizophrenia. She ended up taking some pills to control it, but she ended up going to the hospital and looking for Aizawa-sensei instead. I think it was like therapy, you know? We were never around often, since we worked a lot." No wonder she was so attached to him.

"She started to become fond of Aizawa-sensei. She liked to spend time asking him about school and he politely would listen to her play the piano sometimes. After awhile, she saw him, with you. She saw the difference in how he acted around you, and I guess it popped her trigger. She started to plan evil revenge on you, and I convinced her it was just her hallucinations. She didn't listen and plotted this against you." Amano-san cried out.

"After her surgery, it was worse. She observed how both of you acted, and she was fuming mad." She said. I nodded silently. So her hallucinations made her do all of this, and her hatred made it worse…what a poor girl.

"Amano-san, please go home and rest. It is late and you should be resting. Your daughter…" I trail off. She nods, knowing what I mean. She bids me goodbye and solemnly walks away. I return to the ICU and walk to Aizawa's side. Sitting down, I brush a few stray hairs from his forehead, like what he always did to me when I was hospitalised. Squeezing his hand, I rest my head on my arm, and his hand interlocks with mine.

"I'll be with you through the night, okay?" I whisper as I close my eyes. I can feel his warmth against my face and I let my head rest on my arm. A drowsy feeling overcame me and I succumb to that feeling, peacefully falling asleep.

* * *

Aizawa POV

The sharp smell of antiseptics and isopropyl alcohol stung my nose. A salty taste lingered in my mouth and bright light blinded me. Where am I? Judging from my sense, I guessed the hospital. I'm probably in ICU, since I was stabbed in my abdomen. That brings back some memories.

"Aizawa? Aizawa, can you hear me?" I heard Fujikawa call to me. As I fought off the sedatives, my eyes slowly opened as I took my surroundings in. Beeping monitors, an extensive array of tubes and bags hanging from one station, and the extreme sharpness of antiseptics. I was no doubt in ICU. Surrounding me was Tachibana-sensei, Fujikawa, Saejima and Shiraishi's small body by my side.

"Ah…what happened?" I croaked out, still groggy from the sedatives.

"Do you remember?" Saejima asked.

"I was stabbed…wasn't I? Then Natori and Yukimura came…" I mumbled out. A small hand squeezed mine and I looked next to me. Shiraishi was by my bedside, still sleeping, exhausted from everything. Her hand squeezed mine every so often, as if she was afraid of letting me go. I turn my attention back to him groggily.

"Yes, but you are in good condition now. We stitched your wounds, so we just need to take the stitches out once it heals and let you rest for a week or so. Count yourself lucky, Aizawa. Any later, the acid in your stomach would have killed you." Tachibana-sensei informs me. He receives a call and returns to the ER to prepare with Fujikawa. Saejima stays and grabs a spare blanket she was holding. Placing it ever so gently on top of Shiraishi, she makes sure it won't fall off her body.

"Let her rest. She is quite exhausted. For her to escape yesterday with just bruises…it's a miracle." Saejima comments to me before taking her leave. I turn to look at Shiraishi and stare at her for a while. It reminded me that there are no such things as miracles. It was all due to our timing, our alertness and everything else. But then, she changed my dark selfish heart to one of those who is slowly gaining exposure to light. Yes…it is a miracle.

She's _my miracle._

* * *

 _a/n: hello everyone! I'm back! I'm so sorry for my hiatus and that left you guys waiting in suspense. finally, I'm back with the truth and more. the last part is more of me trying to tie up some loose ends to the chapter. don't worry, all will be revealed in the next chapter. also, the idea of of the attack is honestly one of the ideas that i never thought i would write, but i decided to anyways, since it really flowed with the storyline._

 _unfortunately, i might have to hold my next chapter till later on, as i will need some time to plan and I'm quite busy in school now. hope you guys understand. :)_

 _thanks all for reading! reviews and all are welcome and appreciated! love you all for supporting me!_


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